


No Stopping You

by PeggyCarters



Category: Blake Shelton (Musician), Gwen Stefani - Fandom, Shefani, The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: F/M, Shefani - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2018-12-23 11:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 84,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11988876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeggyCarters/pseuds/PeggyCarters
Summary: Life's not easy when you're about to finish High School and you're staring down at two possible paths to take.





	1. Short hair

**Author's Note:**

> This story has been going around in my head for a while and I just recently decided to write it down. It's AU, I wouldn't say A LOT, but it's pretty AU.  
> Gwen and Blake are the same age and it's 1994, which makes them 17 almost 18. 
> 
> It's also kinda personal and based on the song No Stopping You by Brett Eldredge. 
> 
> Contrary to my other works, this will be more angsty. I hope you all like it :)

_April 1994_

 

Every time there was a No Doubt concert there he was. If they asked him if he was a fan of Ska music he would reply negative; he was just a fan of her. Anything she did, everything she accomplished, he was a fan of. And if she decided to sing ska his place was there, front row and later backstage to congratulate her and the entire band, whether they played the smallest bar or opened from semi famous band.

There had been a few times in which he had felt stupid. Seeing a plaid wearing guy with cowboy boots and sometimes a hat at a Ska concert wasn't very typical and he sometimes had to bite his tongue when he heard people call out for him. There had been a moment in which he decided to ignore the tattooed, tight skinny jeans guys. He was only there for her. She wanted him there and maybe he was a fool to follow her around like a lost puppy but he didn't mind. The smile that appeared on her face every time she saw him after the concert was worth all the mean comments and listening to music that really wasn't his cup of tea. Her brother and a couple of his friends had started a small band that started to get famous around the school and then town; when they saw the need of female backup singers Gwen told her brother she could do it, and he brought her in, along with a drummer and bassist. In every concert, they would let her perform a song as lead singer but then she always made her way back beside the drummer and behind the mic stand. Still, she was the true star for him. He's no expert in any music that goes further than country and maybe a little rock, but Gwen's voice is so unique and she sure knows how to command a stage.

He really can't remember how he best friended Gwen Stefani. He just remembers that one afternoon he was walking home after school and there she was. Suddenly she was greeting him and his 14 year old free of nerves self had said _hello_ back. From that day on, he cannot picture a walk to and from school without her. Apart from when one of them was sick or had an important appointment, they always walked together and last year of school wasn't any different. They were graduating in two months and ready to take over the world diploma in hand.

 

"Blake, oh my god!" The brunette jumps into his arms making him circle her waist as he picks her up from the ground swinging her around. He can't remember the name of the band they just opened for, but the place was pretty crowded. "How crazy was that?!" The plaid wearing guy smiles brightly at her as the singer leans away from him and runs a hand through her short hair. When summer approached she always had her mother cut her hair for her and if he had to be honest with himself, he prefered it like this.

His smile grows on his stubble free face making his dimples appear on his cheeks as she draws a toothed smile that only grows and grows as she stares up at him. The boy's eyes soften at the sincere look on her face, and he doesn't hesitate once before he reaches up to put a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"So crazy!" He agrees. "Gwen, you were so... wow!" His hands come up on the air waving him. "I'm so proud of you." She grins before crashing against his body again.

For a moment, it feels like someone has turned the volume down and the world has stopped. His hands circle her waist again and then run up and down her back over her green dress. He hears her sigh against his chest and that only makes him hug her even closer. "You tired?" She only nods. Blake leans back a little bit and waits for her to let go of him but she doesn't. That makes him chuckle as he leans down to let his lips collide with her hair. "Come on, I'll take you home."

"No." She pouts, finally looking up at him again.

"Gwen, it's school night." It's only 8 o'clock but they really have to get home soon.

"Can we stop for a burger?" She asks stepping away from his arms.

As much as it pains him, he lets his hand leave her back and slowly trace down her spine as it falls back onto his sides.

"Sure." He says putting his hand on his pocket to take out car keys. "Your carriage awaits you."

"By carriage you mean a car that falls into pieces and doesn't go faster than 50 kilometres per hour, right?"

"I'm sorry if my batmobile doesn't impress you much." The dimpled grin on his face makes her chuckle and hit his chest softly.

"Let me go say goodbye to the guys. I'll meet you outside in 5?"

"Don't worry. I'll wait right here." He bounces in his feet and then presses his lips together as he watches her walk off. She takes a few steps backwards flashing a smile his way making Blake's cheeks twitch up and an electrifying sensation run through his veins.

_Oh Gwen!_

 

He leans against the white wall when she disappears behind the door at the end of the corridor and lets out a deep breath. To entertain himself, Blake shuffles the keys in his fingers and then plays a ghost guitar. Chuckling, he stops doing so when her voice interrupts his mini concert.

"I'll get you a real guitar one day." She jokes walking closer to him.

"I have a real guitar."

"Yeah but I will get you one that is not cracked and fixed with cello tape." She teases making him frown but then let out a laugh.

"Hey! Johanna is beautiful as she is."

"Right, Johanna!" She ironically laughs, "I forgot you're the freak that names stuff."

 

They're making their way outside of the small venue when a male voice stops them. The pair turn around to see their friend and Gwen's bandmate, Tony, running towards them.

"Hey man, nice concert!" Blake greets him patting him on the arm.

"Thank you." Tony shrugs and then just draws a barely there smile on his face. Blake frowns but just lets it go. "Can I talk to you for a second?" He says turning his head to look at Gwen.

The girl nods and then spins on her feet to meet Blake. "I'll be right there, get the batmobile started."

"Okay superwoman." Blake teases and sees Tony roll his eyes from the corner of his own.

"You know I like Wonder Woman better."

"Right! Sorry 'bout that, Wonder Woman!"

"That was a weird mix of DC superheroes, even for you!" Gwen laughs.

The dimpled grin that appears on his face makes her cup his cheek before she turns around to walk away with Tony.

"Maybe in the future they will put them together in a movie!" Blake shouts as he watches them walk away from him. When he realizes that he may be creeping on them,  he spins on his feet to walk to his car.

He tries to keep him entertained and with his head down since he doesn't want to be that guy that spies on his best friend, but when it's been a few minutes he looks up and sees them a few meters away. At first they're just innocently talking but when Tony leans in and kisses her cheek something inside him changes. He gets ahold of the steering wheel and closes his eyes breathing out loudly. When he opens them again Gwen's laughing at whatever her bandmate has said and linking her fingers. He knows she only does that when she's nervous.

As much as he doesn't want to, he looks away again and turns on the radio. He flips through different stations until he finds a song he likes. Before said song comes to an end, the passenger's door swings open and a very cheerful Gwen jumps into the passenger seat.

"Ready!"

"Okay, buckle up!"

 

Blake takes a look around and smiles. He and his step dad had built a little wooden house on the tree for Gwen and him to play when they were younger and even now, at almost 18 years of age, they still climbed up the stairs and hanged around the wooden space. There were pictures of them, achievements of the both, a small cassette player and their shared collection of music.

"Remember when we were fifteen and we pr-" her voice ends the comfortable silence.

"Promised to go to the dance together?" He cuts her off, "I remember."

"You haven't asked me yet." She admits almost scared to do so.

"Can I? I mean, are you still free?" She nods as she reaches for a fry.

"Free? We do live in a free country.”

He lets out a little laugh, "I mean, no one has asked you?" He asks shocked about it.

“I’ve been asked. Tony did before.” The singer replies making Blake’s eyes grow open.

“And?”

“We promised to go together, didn’t we?” She says ignoring the fact that Blake’s jaw had hit the ground when she had said Tony had asked her.

“Yeah, but…”

“But what?” Gwen asks taking another bite of her burger, “We promised.”

“We were fifteen and stupid.”

“You don’t want to go with me?” Gwen asks frowning.

Blake lets out a laugh and then puts his burger down, “Of course I want to go with you, are you kidding me?”

“Then what’s the problem? A promise is a promise.”

“I’m just saying that I know you like Tony and that if you want to go with him, you should.” Blake says running a hand through his mullet.

The girl studies him for a moment and then opens her mouth to speak, “What about you?”

One of his cheeks twitches up. He loves how she always thinks about him, “I don’t know. It’s not like I want to go, really.”

“Wha- why not?” Gwen asks moving closer to him.

“I’m a poor dancer and I don’t have a-“

“I can teach you. Come on, stand up.” She jumps on her feet as Blake stays sat on the wooden floor. Her hand appears on his line of vision and makes him look up to find her waiting for him with the brightest smile.

_God only knows how much he likes that grin!_

He admires her for a few seconds and then turns to put play on the cassette that was already inside the device. He thanks god or anyone up there for the song choice, which makes his cheeks twitch up and turn a little red. Gwen keeps a straight face as the song begins but when she starts to realize which one it is, she bites down her lip nervously.

 _When you say nothing at all_.

She climbs down the wooden stairs followed by Blake as the song begins. Neither of them make a comment on the song as they stand face to face but a step away.

"You have to actually come closer, you know?" Gwen teases bringing her hand up from him to take. He does as he comes closer to almost sharing her breath. "Okay keep these hands up", she says squeezing their linked hands, "and now this hand," she says taking his free hand on his sides, "Up here." She places it on her upper back and then she does the same with hers, but on his back. Blake listens carefully and quietly as she teaches him. It's not like he doesn't know where to place his hands, he's seen people slow dance before; his parents, when he was little and sometimes he spots her mother dancing with his stepdad when they think they are alone. Blake always studies them, trying to learn how they move in order to try to do the same one day himself and not chicken at the possibility to dance with a lady.

It's not like Gwen and him have never been this close, they have, but they have never danced or done something as close to romantic as this before. God knows he has wanted to, but he always stepped away when her proximity became too much. He knew how she felt about her, but he didn't know if she had the same feelings about him. So he settled for what was comfortable and stayed her best friend, her partner in crime. He preferred that, than to lose her forever. Also, what would a rock and roll princess do with a mullet, jeans, plaid and boots guy? He stood no chance. He was starting to realize that.

"Now," she startles him making Gwen chuckle when he bounces on his feet at the surprise, "Let the music lead you. There's not really a move to follow, just let loose." She explains bringing her chest to touch his. He clears his throat quietly as his head rests on top of hers on his chest. Gwen closes her eyes and murmurs against his chest, "Like this." She sways them as her hold on his hand tightens and he follows her.

"Is this okay?" He asks moving forward and her backwards. She leans back to look up at him and smiles nodding once. He tears his eyes away from hers, a little intimidated by all the staring, but the hand on his back travels to his cheek, bringing his gaze to hers.

"Don't tear your eyes away from mine." She says softly.

"Okay." He whispers leaning down to meet his gaze with hers. Gwen slants back at the sudden proximity and her eyes widen. "Sorry." He apologizes tearing his gaze away from hers again.

"No... it's uhm," she softly let's go of his hand and takes a step back, creating space between them. The intense blue on his eyes is making her nervous, something that has never really happened before. This is a new side of them they are just now discovering, at the age of 17 and nearly three years of friendship.

She's about to take another step back and maybe go back up to the tree house when he appears before her and takes her in his arms again. Just then, she begins to hear the song again, and a small shy smile appears on her lips, hidden from him since she's looking down at their feet. She takes a moment to look down at their feet, at his cowboy boots and her worn out white Converse; her eyes continue their journey up as he caresses the palm of her hand and intertwines their hands again. The contrast between his loosely and ripped worn out jeans and her green dress makes a soft chuckle escape her mouth that receives no comment from Blake, who is too busy trying not to screw up his hand position on her body. His hand takes hers and places it on his back, as she had taught him, and then brings his to her upper back. When he softly breathes out against her brown hair, it makes her skin get goosebumps and her eyes to shoot open to face his blue and grey flannel shirt which really doesn't match her dress, but when have they ever matched, really? Gwen thinks that is the reason they get along so well, because they're so different and unique.

When her eyes finally come up to meet his, Gwen realizes something she hadn't given much attention to before: the intense yet soft and calm colour of his eyes. She presses her lips together and lets her hand on his upper back travel down as he begins to sway them again.

"Blake?"

"Mhm?" His nose caresses her temple making Gwen freeze on her feet, which causes him to nearly stumble at the sudden stop.

"I uhm-" she puts a strand of her hair behind her ear and meets his eyes again before she starts to sway to the music again. "Your eyes are so blue."

"Really? I thought they were brown." She laughs leaning her head against his chest.

"I have never seen you with your hair short." She point out leaning back to look at him again.

"That's because I've always had it long." His hand slowly traces a path up and down her back. He has almost forgot about the song but just then he realizes it's coming to an end.

"Would you cut it someday?"

"Do you want me to?" He asks.

She frowns and presses her lips together, "I'd just like to see how it would look on you, that's all."

"Maybe if I cut it I could actually get someone to go to the dance with me." She hits his chest making him oof.

"You're stupid! You can still ask me." She shyly looks down.

"You should go wi-"

"I want to go with you." She says bringing her gaze up to his again. Blake swears he could just lean down and kiss her. God knows how many times he has thought of doing so. "We have a list of things to do together, remember?" He nods drawing a grin on his face.

"It's up there in the cabin."

"How are we supposed to scratch down 'Going to the last school dance together' if we don't go to the last dance of school together? We won't have another chance."

"Yeah, I'm not going back to school after we graduate." He says making both laugh. The song ends and the next one comes up. It happens to be a slow one so they don't stop the slow dance. Blake pulls her away from him and spins her on her feet making Gwen _wow_ up at him when her eyes land on his again. "I'm a fast learner." His palm on her back presses their bodies together and he also brings their intertwined hands in between their chests. "So, can this master at dancing take you to the dance?"  

Gwen purses her lips and frowns for a second making her friend nervous as he stares down at her.

"I'm gonna need to buy heels." She steps on her tiptoes to try and meet her eyes without tilting her head up. A grin forms on her lips making him chuckle.

"And I need a tuxedo. Or can I wear-"

"If you're gonna say jeans and plaid, save it." He zips his lips, "You in a tux. That will be interesting."

"The dance is two months away and you're already making fun of me." He fakes a pout that has Gwen throwing her head back.

Without even realizing it, they had stopped slow dancing but still wouldn't let go of the other. That's how his mother found them, making them jump apart at the sudden and unexpected interruption.

"Practicing for the dance?" Dot steps outside the porch.

"Hi mum." Blake fidgets with his hands as Gwen stands awkwardly next to him.

"Hi Dot!" She replies, cheerfully walking up to her best friend's mother. "We were actually." Dot takes the girl in her arms and hugs her tight.

"So, which lucky guy gets to take you, Gwen?" She asks. The girl giggles and then turns to look at Blake who blushes up as he walks towards his favourite girls.

"You actually know him." Gwen teases.

"I do?" Gwen nods a few times as Blake admires the scene unfold before his eyes. Dorothy frowns, "Uhm." The older woman starts to call out names of guys she knows go to the kids' class but never once mentions her son. Blake starts to grow impatient as Gwen bites her lower lip trying to hide a grin.

"Oh for go-" Blake exclaim.

Gwen bursts out laughing as Dot freezes for a moment, not knowing what is going on. "It's Blake, actually." Gwen says when the laughter starts to die. His mother's eyes widen and she also raises her eyebrows at her kid who bounces on his feet proudly.

"Now that's amazing news."

  
  


Blake walks downstairs the next morning to find his mother inside the kitchen fixing breakfast. "Mum, where's the white shirt?" He asks softly scratching the few hairs on his chest.

"On the chair. I haven't had time to iron it." She says finishing up the bacon and eggs. Blake walks back inside the kitchen fully clothed and after him, his sister.

"Why such a Sunday like breakfast? It's Monday." Her sister asks reaching for the coffee on the counter to pour some on her cup.

"Well, we- mostly Blake - have something to celebrate." Her mother nudges his side making Blake shyly walk away from the girls. _Oh god._ He was going to get teased about Gwen and the dance daily and even though it brought the brightest smile on his face and a rare feeling on his stomach, it also made him nervous.

"So, care to share the news bro?" Her sister calls out. Blake turns on his feet and leans against the counter.

"It's not a big de-" he shakes his head, "I uhm, asked Gwen to go to the dance with me."

The silence that takes over the room makes him want to scream. His mother smiles happily but his sister looks at him curiously.

"And she said yes?"

"Don't you see the breakfast? Of course she said yes!" Their mother exclaims walking over to her son. "Come on, sit down and have your breakfast. You deserve it!"

"Congrats lil bro! Next step is to ask her out on a date, huh?" She teases ruffling his hair.

"I ain't taking her out on a date." Blake replies starting to eat his breakfast.

"Oh come on! You know you want to. It's about time, no?" Endy asks putting two pieces of bread inside the toaster. "How much longer are you going to wait to kiss the gir-"

"Endy!" Her mother raises her voice, "Stop the teasing, will you?"

"Sure I want to." Blake decides to speak out for himself, "But I'm sure Gwen doesn't- we're friends okay? That's all that matters to me." He says storming out the kitchen, forgetting his lunch on the counter in the process.

"You will regret it, Blake!" He hears her sister's voice before he storms out of the house swinging his backpack over his shoulders. He walks up to Gwen's house and waits for her outside as he does every morning, only today he's quite early.

When it's time, Gwen appears from behind the door and cheerfully walks up to him, with her folder in hand and handbag hanging off of her shoulder.

"Morning!" She says flashing a smile.

"Hi you!" He slips his hands inside his pockets and bounces on his feet. He's suddenly nervous of being next to her and he can't explain why.

They walk to school commenting the next No Doubt concerts and band practice every afternoon after school. As happy as he is for her, band practice means walking back home alone and that's something he dislikes.

  
  


The next month flies by and before they know it they're studying and stopping band practices and open mic nights in order to focus on getting good marks and get in the universities they want to get in. His eyes leave the book to land on her at the other side of the table. History, maths, geography... all of these things he really doesn't care about but that are important for his future. He has always wanted to have a future related to music but his mother didn't quite see it, so she had asked him to at least go to college and pursue music as a hobby. He understood her, he knew that she only wanted what was best for him, but at the same time he wanted to just leave for Nashville and never come back.

When his eyes land on her, he observes that she is doodling again and a little smile appears on his face, "You're going to be the best designer on planet earth one day."

"Only on planet earth?"

He chuckles, "In all planets. I bet aliens will contact you for their flashy futuristic clothes." Gwen's eyes soften at his words as a smile draws on her face.

"You're the best friend anyone could have." Now it's his turn to beam, accompanied by the dimples she likes so much.

" _Y_ _ou_ are." He assures her.

Silence takes over again as they go back to their books until they are interrupted two hours later with the saddest news.

 

Two weeks before exams and on a rainy day, dressed in black, Gwen and her band mates stood under the rain on the cemetery. Blake had also attended but was a little behind, leaving the family and friends of the No Doubt frontman have their last moment before burying the casket. Gwen had been crying for two days straight and he had been there the entire 48 hours. They had fallen asleep on her bed as he cradled her, whispering 'it's going to be okays' and other sweet nothings as he also tried to steady her breath. She had panicked for a few minutes, and not even her mother had been able to calm her down. Blake had pitched in then. Sitting beside her on the sofa, he had carefully put his arm around her and she had immediately clung onto him; her head resting on his shirt, leaving black spots of her make up on it.

 

Two days after the funeral she was still quiet and not eating much, Blake was beginning to get worried. They had gone back to studying but he didn't see her making any progress or not even trying to read the books or her notes.

"Gwen," he says softly, "Want to go somewhere?"

She hesitates for a moment but then nods, "Can we go get Johanna and just sing a little?" He beams when he hears her call his guitar by it's name and then nods.

"Sure."

 

They drive to his house to get the guitar and then up the hill to their spot. He lets the tailgate fall and helps her up and then puts a blanket he always carries inside the car of them to sit down on.

If he had knows all it took to have her giggling again was a country song and his soft voice, he would have done it two days ago. He had never seen her so sad and so powerless before, not in their nearly four years of friendship. But now that he has her smiling, teasing and softly leaning against his side as he sings for her, he can feel her coming back to her true self again. He turns his head to look at her and gets lost in her brown eyes, eyes that turned into a honey colour on a sunny day and into dark chocolate brown late at night. But now, now her eyes are latte brown and he could honestly get lost in them for hours.

“You’re staring.” Her voice breaks his internal monologue, “And you’ve stopped playing.”

“Yeah, I uhh…” He stutters, “What song should I play next?”

She stays quiet for a few seconds as she looks around. From where they are they can see the Anaheim, and a few small villages nearby.

“You have a beautiful voice, Blake.” It’s not the first time she has given him such a compliment, “You should really try to record something.”

“Maybe.” He says putting his guitar aside.

Her head falls on his shoulder and she closes her eyes. For a few minutes neither of them talk, they just let the silence embrace both of them until Gwen lifts her head up. “What’s going to happen with the band?”

“I’m not the one you should ask this question to.” He replies honestly. “But Gwen, maybe this is your chance. And I know it’s may sound selfish or cruel, regarding the recent events, but you deserved better than being a background singer.” He says moving to sit in front of her. He takes her hands in his and squeezes for her to look at him. “You’re voice is unique. No one sounds like you, and you say I’m the walking encyclopedia of music.”

"I can't just- No, Blake."

"I'm not saying now." He caresses the top of her hands when she starts to pull them away. "Buy maybe in a few weeks." She closes her eyes and tilts her head down, "Now just- let's ace all the exams and dance until our feet hurt, okay?" Gwen starts to look up and when her eyes land on his again she nods.

"Your mother told me she saw you slow dancing in the living room the other day." His cheeks turn red and the soft smile of his face disappears as he fidgets with his hands on his lap. "Oh come on, it's cute!"

"Don't tell anyone!" He exclaims hiding his face behind his hands. "It's embarrassing enough that my mum caught me and then she told you! Oh god!"

"Don't practice too much or you'll be better than me." She mocks him showing her tongue at him.

 

Three hours before the dance and Blake hadn't been more nervous in his life before. His suit was hanging off of the hanger behind his door and his shoes were next to his bed side table. He stood before the mirror staring at his reflection not thinking about anything in particular. In the background, some radio host was talking about the potential summer songs battling for the number one position. He had the towel wrapped around his waist and his hair dripping wet on his shoulders. Suddenly, a smile started to form on his lips, "Mum!" He exclaims opening the door to run out his bedroom.

"Wha- what's going on?" Dot asks out of breath.

"I need a haircut." His mother frowns.

"You got it cut a few weeks ago."

"No, I mean shorter."

"You want short hair?" Blake nods a few times.

His mother works on his hair as he stares at his reflection on the mirror. His features change as he starts to see his mullet being cut off, making a weird feeling run through his veins. He had always pulled off that haircut and he didn't know how he would look without it. "Short like the guys you like on TV." Blake says when his mother asks again how short he'd like it. She doesn't ask any questions and just does, but she most definitely knows why her son is doing all of this.

"Gwen," he begins to say, "She uhm-" her mother grins down at him through the mirror. "She said she'd like to see how I looked with shorter hair."

"Sweetie" she stops and takes a chair to sit beside him. Blake frowns when she stops cutting her hair and then turns to face her.

"What?"

"You don't have to change you know. She likes you the way you are." Blake shakes his head.

Blake opens his mouth and closes it twice before he speaks again, "She's the coolest girl and I'm just- me. For one night I just want to be the guy in a tux that gets to escort her to the dance, because that's the only chance I'll have."

"Honey-" she tries to cut him but Blake shakes his head.

"It's okay. I know she doesn't like me like _that_." He says turning back to watch his reflection on the mirror, "It's fine." He says nodding at himself.

"How do you know that's how she feels?"

"I just know."

"But ho-"

"She likes Tony, okay?" He raises his voice but rapidly apologizes when her mother drops the scissors on the floor, startled. "Sorry." He says meeting her eyes through the mirror.

"Blake, she agreed to go with you."

"Yes, because we made a damn list when we were fifteen saying that we would go together to the last school dance. It's up inside the cabin."

"I know. You have lots of dreams to conquer together."

Silence takes over them as his mother squats down to pick up the scissors again. "I just want you to be happy, Blake."

"She makes me happy, mum."

"I don't want your heart to get broken."

"It hurts, huh?" He chuckles.

"Yes son, a broken heart hurt like hell."

Blake nods at his mother and then sits back properly to let her finish up.

 

 

Standing outside of her door, holding the corsage that matched his blue tie and her blue dress, Blake sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He chuckles and shakes his head when he realizes that he's not pulling off a mullet anymore. He's going to have to get used to it.

He takes one deep breath and knocks on the door.

 


	2. School Dance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the feedback here and on twitter, I really appreciate it. Seeing that some of you have asked to have more chapter with teen shefani, I will keep them younger for a few more chapters but then the story will continue with them a little older.

It seems like an eternity until the door swings open and someone appears behind the wooden surface. Blake takes another deep breath and smiles up at Gwen’s dad.

“Well, hello there Blake!” Dennis cheerfully says as he steps aside to let his daughter’s date in. The boy has known him for four years but now, standing in the hall all suited up and waiting for his date, Blake has never been more nervous.

“Hi Mr. Stefani.” Since when has he referred to him that way? Blake shakes his head and clears his throat, “Dennis, it’s good to see you.” He really needs to control his nerves.

“You almost scared me with all the formality.” The man jokes patting Blake’s back as the boy laughs along as he cradles the plastic box containing Gwen’s corsage against his chest. “So, this is a nice suit.”

“Thank you, it was my brother’s.” Blake admits pressing his lips together as he looks up to find Dennis’ eyes on his. “He wore it to his prom and my mum had it inside her wardrobe for me. She obviously made a few arrangements cos this is the 90’s not the 80’s!” Blake explains with a chuckle.

A small proud smile appears on Gwen’s dad face as he squeezes Blake’s shoulder, “Well son, you look very dapper.”

“Thank you.”

There is an almost awkward silence until Gwen's mother appears stopping frozen on her feet when she sees Blake all suited up.

“You cut your hair.” It’s the first thing that comes out of her mouth making Blake snort as Dennis turns his head to look at the teenager again. He hadn’t noticed that.

“You did.” Gwen’s father points out after checking again.

“Figured I needed a change.” Blake comments fidgeting. He’s always adored Gwen’s parents but he feels like he’s being someway interrogated as they both stare at him as if he were an alien. “Is uhm… Gwen ready?” He says running a hand through his hair.

“Almost, yes.” Patty replies walking up to the two men. Blake watches her from the corner of his eyes as he bites down his lower lip nervously. “You look very nice.”

“Thank you.” Blake meets her eyes and smiles.

“How's your mother? It’s been awhile since we’ve seen each other.”

“Good, good. She actually asked about you the other day.” Blake establishes small talk with Gwen’s parents like he’s always done, “She’s free next Saturday, maybe you could grab a bite."

“Yes, sure. I’ll call her.” Patty explains. She takes a moment and seeing that neither of the men have anything to say, she continues, “How’s the study coming along? Only two exams left, huh?”

Blake fixes his tie and looks back up to Gwen’s mother, “Good. Gwen and I have taken over my dinning room table and I can tell my mum’s freak-” he stops talking when he can feel Gwen’s presence in the room from the corner of his eye. His head slowly turns to have his eyes land on her elegant blue dress, “Wow.” He doesn't even know if he said that out loud or not but he really can't move or attempt to say anything else right now. His hands nervously shake and his lips part as he shamelessly stares at her.  

“Who are you and what have you done with Blake?” The question takes the teenage boy completely by surprise. He needs a few seconds of awkward silence to understand what she means while her latte eyes continue to be fixed on his face as she frowns but also shyly smiles. One of his hands reaches up to touch his hair as he bashfully beams.

“Hi.”

 _Say something else, you idiot._ “You… holy shhh-” he stops when he hears Dennis clear his throat behind him. “Wow.”

“You’ve been studying the monosyllables today or what?” Gwen teases him with a grin plastered on her face. Blake closes his eyes and tilts his head back laughing, followed by Gwen’s parents, who then make their way behind their daughter.

When Blake’s laugh dies and he looks back up, he is met with 3 pairs of eyes. He gulps and bounces on his feet, “So uhm, this is for you. Should I…?”

Gwen feels her mother squeeze her shoulder and even push a little bit for her to walk close to her friend. Gwen’s mesmerized. Ever since she walked down the stairs and was met with the sight of him talking to her parents she has maybe hidden it well, but she’s freaking out. He looks so different. Good, but still different.

"Sure, yeah." Gwen walks over to him but before she brings her wrist up for Blake to slide the corsage, she turns to her parents who beam at her. She frowns at them and moves her eyes to the right for her to understand that they can leave, there is no need for them to creep on her and her date. "Mum." Gwen murmurs making Blake chuckle as her parents stay frozen on their feet and with matching grins on their faces. "Don't you guys have things to do?"

Her parents look at each other and then shake their head, "Not really, no." Her mother teases making Gwen huff. She turns back to Blake and throws him a sympathetic smile.

He looks down to the box on his hands and opens it to take the flower out. He looks around for a surface to leave the empty box on but sees nothing but a table a little far away, so he squats down and leaves the box on the floor beside his shiny shoes.

Gwen giggles as he watches him nervously act in front of her. This is a new side of Blake she is just discovering now and even though he has never been the most open guy, it's the first time she sees him unable to utter words or start a normal conversation with her or her parents.

"Gwen?" His soft voice brings her back to earth and makes her eyes land on his again. She presses her lips together to hide a chuckle when she finds him waiting for her, "Here." One of his hands reaches for her wrist as gently takes it as his other hand slides the corsage until it's in the right position. Gwen takes a moment to look at it. She would question the existence of silver and blue flower but it just really matches her dress and his tie so well, that she puts her obsession with plants aside and nods at Blake when he lets go of her hand. "You look very beautiful."

Gwen feels her cheeks warm up and probably turn red as she presses her lips together. "You look... different."

"Different okay? Or not okay?" Blake asks timidly.

She takes a moment to answer him and in the meantime he grows impatient and insecure, "Okay, very okay. Short hair is a win!"

"Good to know!" He feels like dancing and shout to the world but he stays quiet and on his spot. "So uhm, should we get going?" Gwen nods twice.

Blake spins on his feet to open the door for her to go through it first. Before she steps outside, Gwen turns to her parents and thanks her mother for the help, to which the older woman smiles and murmurs an _anytime_.

"We'll see you-"

"Before midnight." Blake cuts it making Dennis chuckle and nod.

Blake closes the door behind him and takes a second to catch his breath and calm his nerves as he watches Gwen walk down the porch stairs. He takes a few steps to catch her and quietly walks beside her, his hands behind his back.

"Blake?" Gwen begins, before they reach the car. The young man nods and her encouraging her to continue, "I really like your hair. It just... Was it a little weird back there?" She tilts her head to the front door.

Blake lets out a laugh and nods, "Yeah, a little."

"Why though? I mean it's just us."

He will admit that that hurt a little bit but he decides to put it aside and nod, "Well, I'm still the guy taking their princess to the school dance." She beams at his choice of words.

"Yes, but it's _you_. They know you."

"Yes, but the situation is different and-"

"It's just a school dance. It's not like we're going out on a date!" She says sarcastically. Blake's smiley lips turn into a straight line as he puts his hands inside his pockets and looks down. "Now _that_ would be weird."

"Why?" He wants to take it back but there it is, out in the open. Gwen's mouth widens as she stares into his eyes, when that becomes too much she looks away and spins on her feet but a hand on her shoulder stops her. "Would it really be so weird?"  

"I... uhm," she stutters, "Yes? I don't know. Why are you asking this now?"

"Nothing, nothing. Yeah it'd be weird." Blake tries to ease the awkwardness with a laugh and he succeeds because Gwen joins in and when he looks back down at her, the worried look on her face has disappeared.

He only prays that his has too.

Gwen spins on her feet and starts to make her way to the passenger's seat, when she gets to the door she realizes that Blake it right by her side and she turns her head to look at him curiously. He says nothing, just reaches for the door handle to pull it down and open the door for her. Gwen doesn't know how to react at first, but when she realizes that he's just trying to be chivalrous,  she draws a soft smile on her lips and thanks him. He had never opened the door for her before, at least from the outside. No one had done that for her now that she recalls. Maybe her dad, just maybe.

"Thank you." She says before he closes the door and walks to his spot behind the steering wheel. Blake shots his dimples at her before starting the car making Gwen grin at him as she turns on the radio.

  


She can feel lots of eyes on them as they enter the darkish room. She stands by Blake's side and almost reaches to get ahold of his arm when the attention becomes too much. He seems to read her mind because he softly bumps his arm to hers making her turn her head to look up at him. She feels a wave of confidence crash into her when Blake winks at her and even manages to steal a chuckle from her in the process.

"We're always the weirdos no one looks at, what's going on today?" Gwen asks when they slowly and quietly walk to the bar section.

" _I_ am the weirdo." Blake interjects, "And I don't know but it maybe has to do with the fact that you came with me." He grins reaching for two plastic glasses. "What do you want?" He asks waving the glasses in front of her.

"Coke, please." He pours her a glass and then hands it to her with a charming dimpled smile on his face. She seems lost in thoughts because she makes no move to reach up for her glass. She's looking at him though, a straight line on her lips but curious eyes and a kind of playful lip bite. "Gwen?" She snaps then and nervously looks away. "Something wrong?"

She doesn't respond, instead she takes a look around to find a group of girls from their class whispering and looking at them. She frowns, "they're looking at you." She says, still looking at the group of girls at the pack. Blake turns to where she has her gaze at and the women smile at him. _They are smiling at him._ Normally they don't even look at him and when they do is to criticize him later. Blake spins on his feet to face Gwen again and shakes his head.

"Weird."

"The coolest girls in school are basically drooling over you and all you have to say is weird?"

Blake laughs nervously, "Not drooling, and it's not like I care."

"You don't care?" She asks not believing his words. He shakes his head and Gwen decides to drop it.

Sharing a drink by the counter, they talk about everything and nothing as people start to fill the dancing floor. Gwen glances at the dance floor every now and then which has Blake’s nerves starting to show up when he links his fingers. He's good with slow dancing but, faster, more dancy songs? Not his cup of tea. He knows how much Gwen likes to dance so he will have to give in soon because he's her date after all and he rather the the freak dancing with her than having some other guy steal her away from him.

"You wanna dance?" He asks catching her attention.

"Do _you_ want to? You hate dancing, Blake."

"But you love it, I can dance for a while." He puts on his best dimpled smile and she nods happily.

And so they do. She laughs at him when he pulls off his signature move and laughs even more when she tries to imitate him and fails. Blake's head falls against her shoulder as he tries to steady his breathing from all the laughing. Her arms comes up to his shoulder to keep him up and also anchor herself so they don't end up falling and making an even bigger mess. Truth was, he was having fun, even dancing which he particularly didn't quite like. Their laughing battle was being covered by the music, but still, the few people around them were staring shamelessly, even though the pair were unaware about it because they were too busy clinging against the other. When they start to pull away, Blake's head lifts from her shoulder slowly and lets his nose gently brush against her skin. Gwen doesn't move, she freezes at the intimate move but she doesn't pull away either. Instead her arm around his back stays on his shoulder and the other comes up to rest against his side. She's not thinking straight, she would probably never do this if she weren't hypnotized by the surrounding, his tall frame and his gentle being throughout the afternoon. _What's happening?_

As he breathes in against the bit of skin between her neck and the beginning of her dress, her hand on his shoulder moves to the nape of his neck to play with the short hairs that fall against the collar of his button down.   

Part of him doesn't dare to move from where he is at. Maybe moving forward and come face to face with her will be the end of this, of being as close to sharing the same air. He can't recall ever being this close to her, not in such a couple-y like position.

From the afar he hears the song come to an end and a new one start. Non other than one of his favourite's, _Nothing's going to stop us now._ Her eyelids close almost involuntarily as if she wasn't controlling her moves and she hugs herself even closer to him. Blake decides to move forward, his nose brushes against her skin all the way up her neck and across her cheek to then lean back a bit to create a little space between them. His eyes open to find her closed. He sighs and thanks god for that because he wouldn't have been able to face her right now. He feels like a lot has changed in the last minute and even though he wouldn't change any moment spent with her, this situation is making him nervous.

"Gwen!" They both hear a male voice shout from not so far away.

 _Dammit_.

Her eyes shot open to meet his blue diamond ones and she rapidly steps away, his hands flying up and then to his sides as Blake's slowly slide from her body as if he didn't want to take them off. She shakes her head and puts a hand up when he lifts one of his foot to step in closer to her again, almost forgetting that someone had called out for her.

"Blake." The tone of her voice is a mixture of scared and insecure. She clears her throat to maybe say something else but doesn’t. She closes her eyes and presses her lips together looking down as if she were apologizing.

"No, don-"

"Gwen!" The voice calls out again, closer this time. Blake bobs his head up and sees Tony a few meters away. He looks down and makes a move to spin on his feet to leave her have a moment with her friend.

"I'll go grab a drink." He murmurs and then spins on his feet leaving a confused Gwen standing in the middle of the dance floor. She wants to run to him and talk about whatever just happened but a hand on her shoulder stops her. When she twists her head to look behind her and her eyes land on Tony, she understands why Blake took off so quickly.

"Hey," she greets her bandmate.

"Hi!" He replies, "So... Cowboy guy took off? Enough dancing for him?" Tony jokes but Gwen doesn't laugh.

"He's danced quite a bit actually." She explains walking away from the crowded ballroom. "You enjoying yourself?" She asks politely.

The bassist nods, "I'd be having a better time if I'd come with you."

"Tony, we talked about it." Gwen explains once again.

"No, I know. I just... Why would you want to go with him?" He asks pointing at where Blake's at. Gwen turns her head into that direction and spots her best friend sitting alone in a row of chairs at the back of the gym. He has his head down and a glass of something black in his hands.

"He is my friend."

"So am I."

"He's... Blake, it's different... We made a promise a while ago were we promised to go together."

Tony nods respectfully, “Can I still ask you for a dance?” She nods and takes his arm when he offers it. They make their way more to the centre of the dance floor just in time for a slow song to come on. Gwen stops on her feet and looks to where Blake was to see the chair vacant and him nowhere in sight. She shakes her head and looks back to Tony, who charmingly smiles at her. “Can I?”

She accepts his hand and they slowly start to move to the music. Still, she feels like the puzzle pieces don’t fit together, like there is something not so right about all of this. She doesn’t have that urge to press her body to his or to move her hand up his back and to the nape of his neck. She doesn’t get that feeling running through her veins, or that silly smile appear on her face. She likes Tony, though. She's been crushing on him for a while, doing everything in her power to get his attention. She had slightly changed her style since he had complimented her when she wore cut off jeans and a cropped top once. But now, dancing with him, she doesn't get her all giddy and giggly. She's happy to dance with him, she has dreamt of this for a while, to be alone with him, but now that she's in the moment, this is nothing like the movies scenes in which the girl dances with the guy she likes. There is no bubble of silence, no camera circling or snow falling on them. The butterflies in her stomach seem to be off duty as well and her eyelids are fully open. She doesn't have the need to lock eyes with him, instead her eyes wander the room. She spots a few people she knows, her classmates and also people she passes through in the corridors on her way to and off class. Blake is nowhere in sight, he's not back on the chairs at the back of the room or by the counter. She spots one of his friends dancing with Monica, a girl that Blake used to go out with. Gwen shakes her head recalling how that girl had broken Blake's heart in just a few days of hanging out together.

"Hey," Tony's voice makes her come back to earth, "I've been calling your name. You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah fine." Gwen brushes a strand off of her face and pulls off a smile to stop worrying him.

"You look very pretty."

"Thank you." When she looks away for a moment her eyes land on Blake, who freezes on his feet and stops breathing for a second. He presses his lips together, closes his eyes in defeat and spins on his feet to leave as fast as possible. Gwen also freezes, stops slow dancing and moves one of her hands from Tony's back to her sides. She doesn't really know how to react, "I have to go." She tells her bandmate who turns his head to meet her eyes.

"What? No. The song isn't over yet. Come on!"

"Tony, I have to go." She repeats raising her voice. His hold on her tightens and begins to sway them again making Gwen forget about Blake for a few seconds. The young man, who had been walking towards the exit, turns one last time to see Gwen slow dancing with Tony again, as if she hadn't seen him. He opens the gym door and lets it close again as he walks through the corridor and to the parking lot.

 

He hops on his bat-mobile and furiously hits the window.

"Fuck." He says cradling his hand to his chest. "Ow. Shit!" Between the pain and his broken heart, Blake doesn't see Gwen exit the building and nearly run to his car until she knocks on the window and he looks to the left to see her standing there. The glass is the only barrier keeping them apart. Opening the door would mean having to talk about this, about what happened a couple of minutes ago, and if he's honest with himself he doesn't really know if he wants to.

"Blake?" All his strength to ignore her goes away when she calls out for him as his head turns to meet her. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it again when she speaks again, "Can you please step outside?" When he doesn't move, she tries again, "Blake, please."

Slowly, he opens the door and waits for her to move aside to get out of the car. Slipping his hands inside his trousers, Blake looks down to his shiny shoes and sighs. "I'm sorry."

"What?" Gwen shakes her head.

"I'm sorry that our stupid promise made you not go with Tony." He runs a hand through his hair and huffs before taking a few steps to create space between them.

"I am the one that should be apologizing." Gwen whispers when he has his back to her. "I swear I was only going to dance a bit but then the music changed and I" she covers her face with her hands and sighs loudly, "Suddenly he was pulling me close and I just... I don't know." His blood blinks in his veins and Gwen talk about him and them. He closes his eyes in defeat and and exhales loudly, making the silence a little awkward. "I'm-"

"Don't say you're sorry. You don't have to apologize, you can dance with whoever you want." He explains.

"I know Tony is not your favourite person in the worl-"

"I'm alright with Tony. I think it's him who doesn't like me."

"Then why did you storm out?" Gwen fires.

Blake stares at her as his hands begin to shake a little bit. To keep her from seeing that, he slips them into the pockets again and then spins on his feet, "Right, let's avoid the subject. Let's pretend it didn't happen, right Blake? Let's pretend that there is nothing going on here and-"

"Are you sure you wanna continue down this path?" He cuts her off raising his voice to stop her loud ramble.

If there was someone nearby Blake would suggest them to grab popcorn and sit tight.

Gwen looks down and presses her lips together thinking of what to reply. She wants to but she doesn't know if she's ready for it though. "That's what I thought." Blake whispers not moving from where he is at. He checks the time to see it's only 9pm and sighs. There's still a while till midnight and he promised to drive her back home in time.

"Why did you cut your hair?"

The question takes him completely by surprise making his eyes widen. "I wanted to try some-"

"The truth, Blake." Gwen pushes taking one step closer to him.

The boy runs a hand through his hair and chuckles, "it's weird. Not having the mullet, I think it will take awhile to get used to it." He explains playing with his fingers. He inhales and then looks down at his shiny boots, "You said you'd like to see me with shorter hair."

"If I told you to jump off a bridge, would you?" She jokes chuckling.

"For one day I didn't wanna be the cowboy with a mullet, okay?." He spats spinning on his feet to create space between them. He runs his hand through his hair nervously as the other hand covers his mouth.

"Blake," she tries softly to catch his attention but he continues with his back to her. "Since when do you care about what people think?" She waits for him to answer but when he never does she walks up to him and places a hand on his back, "Blake, really. You don't have to change for others."

"I wanted to look good for," he exhales, "you." His head turns to look at her, who's standing right behind him. When he sees the confused look on her face, Blake chuckles and looks down shaking his head, "You're the prettiest girl in every room." He says looking at his feet and with his back still turned to her, "and I knew that wouldn't change tonight, you're just... wow Gwen." He lifts his hands to his face and wets his lips, "I'm just... me. I'm normal, there is nothing exciting about me while you," he then turns around to face her, "you are the coolest chick and future rock and roll icon." He grins at her while linking his fingers nervously. She smiles at him but also shakes her head, "You know you will. There's no stopping you."

Her cheeks twitch up as he talks, they even turn red a little as she feels a warmness run down her neck.

"I've always liked the way you looked and you say you're normal? Blake oh god, you're so cool. You're your own thing, there is no one like you. Mullet or not." He looks at her expectantly and shyly, "I'm serious." She remarks when he looks down shaking his head. When her hands land on his cheeks he freezes and starts to feel the nerves creep out again when she starts to tilt his head up to have their eyes meet. "You look very handsome, by the way." As much as he tries to hide the blush, his cheeks burn and he is pretty sure she can feel it. "Are you blushing?" She teases and he shakes his head pressing his lips together, "riiight." That exact moment he kicks all the nerves away and leans in to peck her cheek. His lips linger on her skin as one of his hands finds its way to her waist. He feels her catch her breath and freeze under his touch, so he rapidly pulls away creating space between them.

"Want to get out of here?" He tries to ease the tension as Gwen stands speechless before him.

"Su-sure." Her voice trembles so she nods just in case she didn't make herself clear. "Where to?"

He thinks about it for a second but then smirks, "Can I surprise you?"

She nods.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)
> 
>  
> 
> Thoughts?


	3. Hypothetically Speaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna thank everyone that takes time to leave a comment at the end, you can't imagine how happy your words make me. Really, thank you so much. 
> 
> I hope you're liking this story. Here goes a new chapter :)

  


They steal glances during the Economics exam. Not to copy, but it's their last exam of high school and their grins say more than words could ever do. He is the one good at economics and numbers, while she is better at arts and history. He had helped her prepare for the exam so she was pretty confident she'd pass or get a fair good mark. When she starts answering the questions she even silently taps her feet on the floor because she feels on fire, everything Blake had explained is helping her get all the right results and she feels ecstatic.

 

He glances at her one last time before he stands up and walks up to the teacher to hand her the exam.

"Good?" The teacher asks stopping Blake from walking out the door.

He nods, "Very. Thanks, Victoria."

"Good luck wherever you end up, Blake."

"Thank you." He smiles down at her and leaves looking at Gwen from the corner of his eye.

He waits outside, doodling on his notebook, as he watches his classmates walk out the door. Some smile at him, some don't even look at him and a few of them walk up to him to exchange a few words. When he looks up one time he finds Danielle walking out the classroom. She is the most popular girl in the school and someone who has never dared to look or smile at him in the four years he's been in Anaheim.

"Hi, Blake." He freezes in his feet as he closes the notebook in his hands. He shakes his head and looks around. He points at himself then and she chuckles.

"You know my name?" She nods smirking at him. She takes a step forward and Blake tries to take one back but collides with the wall.

He opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes to mind.

"I saw you at the dance." She pitches in, "You came with uhm... what's her name?"

"Gwen." He smiles proudly.

"Right. The girl who sings."

"Yes, she's awesome." Blake bounces on his feet. He slips his hands inside his pockets and presses his lips together when he doesn't know what else to say.

"Short hair suits you." She states taking yet another step into him. He starts to get nervous and uncomfortable then, the smile on his face fades and he starts to feel crowded, like he can't breath properly.

"Th-thanks."

"Wanna hang out someday?" Blake's eyes widen at the question. He frowns and bites down his lower lip.

"Uhm, well- I..."

"Are you and Gwen together?"

"Uhm... No."

"Then why don't you wanna hang out with me?"

Blake frowns and runs a hand through his hair thinking of what to reply. "I've been in this school for four years."

"Really?"

"Uh-uhm." Blake nods, "You and your friends have always made fun of me." Danielle gulps, "So no, I don't wanna hang out with you."

The girl's eyes widen and she takes a step back to then turn around and walk away the same moment the classroom door swings open and Gwen steps outside freezing on her feet when she sees Danielle walk away from Blake.

"What?" She murmurs to her friend as she shakes her head.

"Nothing." Blake squats down to pick up his bag. Opening it, he places the notebook inside and then closes the backpack again before letting it hang off of his shoulder. "How did it go?" He asks pointing at the class door.

"Good, really good. Remember that thing about the companies and the different categories," Blake nods, "Thank you for explaining that to me yesterday. I got the whole question right thanks to you."

"I'm glad I could help." He says walking up to her side. "We're done."

"High school is over." Gwen whispers looking down. "High school is over." She tilts her head up to meet his eyes as she raises her voice, "over, Blake. We're done! Wow." She crashes against his body when his arms invite her to do so. He cradles her close and without a warning picks her up off the ground and spins them on his feet, making Gwen _whoa_ even louder. Her hands let go of him to let them fly in the air when she feels his hold on her tighten and lets her head fall against his shoulder.

"You two!" A voice they both recognize almost makes Blake lose his balance. He puts Gwen down and both turn to the class door were Victoria, their teacher is standing.

"Go celebrate somewhere else, please." She says with a big smile on her face that gives away her attempt to pull of a more serious tone.

"Sorry." They both say at the same time.

"No problem." The teacher whispers winking at them. "Have fun you two." She winks at the pair and then closes the door again. Gwen and Blake burst out laughing right there in front of the door bending over with their hands on their knees. When the laugh dies they wipe out their tears and head outside. They meet with some of their friends and promise keep seeing each other even after school. They still have the graduation in two days, but they all know it's going to be tough to keep seeing each other once university starts and each head out to one side of the country or the other.

  
  


He opens the door and walks inside the small boutique searching for Gwen. She has worked in the small clothing store ran by one of her mother's closest friends since he has known her. He always tells her that she could do better, apply for a bigger clothing store but she always says she is happy with Mrs. Duncan. The woman lets her design the store window and also suggest and help the customers that walk in. The teen section of the boutique is basically Gwen's field as Mrs. Duncan takes care of the rest. He closes the door behind him and quietly looks around as his hands stay on his back hiding something.

"Hi Mrs. Duncan." Blake whispers at the woman behind the counter folding t-shirts.

"Blake!" she whispers back, "what a nice surprise."

"It's nice to see you."

"Same here young boy." She smiles at him and Blake does the same back, "why are we whispering?" She asks in a low voice.

"I wanna surprise Gwen. Today was our last exam and," he takes his hands from behind his back and smirks, "I prepared dinner!"

He had just finished work at the diner just outside of town, where he had made two burgers, fries and even got smoothies for free as a graduation gift from his boss.

"She's going to love it."

"I hope so."

Mrs. Duncan tells him that Gwen is finishing up in her section and that she should be ready soon. He quietly walks through the boutique until he turns left to the teen section and finds Gwen folding shirts and jeans. He peacefully obverses her for a minute until she feels the presence of someone that makes her turn around.

"Someone told me there was this girl at the teen section in need for dinner." He says waving the paper bags in the air and making Gwen giggle in the process.

"Uhm... I haven't seen her." She teases hanging the last pair of jeans.

"Really? Oh well... I'll try the shop next door." Gwen chuckles at the disappointment tone of his voice. He spins on his feet but she stops him, her hand on his shoulder.

"If I get you beer will you stay with me?" His eyes shoot open and he turns around to face her.

A grin appears in his features as he rubs his chin as if he were thinking about it, "Girl after my own heart." Blake murmurs making her cheeks twitch up and turn a little red.

 

They stop by Gwen's place to grab some beers and then head out to Blake's where they settle outside the porch. His mother and stepfather were outside for the night and since his sister Endy was at university, she wasn't home much during the week. Blake runs upstairs to change from his work clothes as Gwen gets the music ready in the background.

The night carries on like any other, she steals his fries when she finishes hers and he complains at first and then lets her do. She puts mayonnaise in hers and that disgusts him, so he cannot steal her fries in revenge. He does steal her smoothie when he can.

"We finished high school today, can you believe it?" Blake sighs as he falls back against the chair once he's done with his burger.

"It feels weird. Everything's going to change from now on." Blake hums reaching out for his bottle of beer. "Thank god we're staying in the city cos I don't know what I'd do without you." She says looking down as she eats the last fries. When he keeps quiet and doesn't respond, Gwen grows impatient and nervous and looks up to find him looking down at the beer bottle in his hands. "Blak-"

He cuts her off, "I've been accepted at the University of Tennessee."

Silence takes over for some tense seconds in which he bites his nails and Gwen tries to digest this brand new information. They had always talked about attending university together, obviously not the same degree, but still live at home and be able to see each other frequently. That had just flown out the window with his announcement.

"Wh-what?" She shakes her head.

"I've been ac-"

"I heard that, Blake." She says before standing up from the table. He stays in his chair as he watches her take a few steps away from him. Her hand brushes through her hair as the other settles in her hip as she talks again, "I thought we were going to go to Fullerton together. That was the plan. That way I could stay in the band and we-"

"Gwen," he tries to calm her down.

"And we could still see each other as we do now." She finishes the sentence dolefully.

"The band is your thing, for god's sake!" Blake huffs making his arms fly in the air. "What about me?"

"What about _you_!?"

He grunts and presses his lips together to keep himself from running away. "I want the same thing you want, only I need Nashville to do that."

"Country music ain't only in Nashville, Blake."

"No, but it is the damn capital city of country music!" He closes his eyes and breathes in, "I wanted to be a little selfish and fight for my dreams for once."

"Well you succeeded." She starts to walk towards the door leaving a very confused Blake standing in the middle of his small backyard.

"Gwen!" He calls out for her but she keeps on walking. Realizing that he should probably follow her, Blake runs and puts one hand on the wooden door that leads to the kitchen to stop her from opening it, "Don't run away. Let's talk about this."

"What is there to talk about Blake? You're leaving." He recognizes this tone of voice, he knows she's keeping the tears to herself and playing the strong card when she really just wants to fall against his chest and cry. "We were going to stay home to continue seeing each other. If you leave for Nashville I'll never see you again."

"Nashville is where I want to be."

"Your mother will never let you study music, you know that."

"That's why I applied for economics." Gwen throws her head back laughing making Blake frown, "What?" He fires.

"Economics, really?"

"Do I need to remind you who helped you pass today's _economics_ exam?" They is halfway to yelling right now but it's like they don't even care.

"Right, I'm sorry mister know it all." She mocks him before turning around to give her back to him as Blake walks down the porch stairs again and to her.

"I'm sorry." He murmurs when he's close enough. "I should have told you I had applied."

"Yes you should have." He sounds more calm now, but there's still something in her voice that makes him realize that she's sad with all of this. "You can study economics anywhere." She says once she turns around.

"I wanna pursue country music, you know that. I can only really do that there."

"What about us?"

"Hey," he places his hand on her shoulder, "I'm not leaving today nor tomorrow." He squeezes to have her turn to him, "We have the whole summer ahead of ourselves and specially the road trip in August." He winks and grins at her making a soft small smile appear on her face.

"Yeah."

"I'll still be me. I'll still be your best friend and you'll be mine, that will not change." He assures her.

"Only you're going to be a million miles away."

"Two thousand," he says proudly, "I checked it."

  
  
  


Graduation day ends up with Gwen's family at Blake's place for a lunch that extends to dinner. Their parents had always been friends and Blake really got along with Gwen's siblings. After lunch they had left though, along with Blake's sister Endy.

When the Stefani's had left Blake had broken down the University of Tennessee news to his mother who had been kind of disappointed that he hadn't let her known he had applied.

"Music is important for me mum, I'll be studying economics but trying to make a name out of myself in the music business as well." He looked really grown up in a tux, as if he was closing a million dollar deal with an important company.

"With one condition." Blake nods hiding a smile because he can’t believe mother is trusting him on this. "If I see you're not attending class or skipping it because of the music and you start to fail, you'll come back to Anaheim."

"But mum-"

"No buts, Blake. You take it or you leave it."

He closes his eyes and unties his tie, "Okay."  

"I called uncle Graham and he says I could stay at his place downtown until I find a part-time job and a place for myself."

"You can always go to the college campus."

"That's very expensive, mum." He explains, "I also applied for a scholarship but they haven't said anything yet."

"But Blake-"

"No, I know me leaving and not being home is expensive, but I wanna pay at least half of it. I have a lot saved up and I'll look for a job."

"Until you find a job, let me help you. I have some money saved up for you." He's tempted to say no, that she had done far enough for him over the years, but he nods and his mother smiles opening her arms to him. Blake takes two step towards her and wraps his arms around her back as his mother's do the same as she hugs him tight, "I'm so proud of you."

  
  


Two weeks go by and everything Blake does is work 8 hours a day, 10 on the weekends. Gwen also works in the afternoon at the clothing store and then heads to band practice until it's time for dinner. They haven't seen each other much these last few days so when Blake's weekend off arrives he wipes his schedule to only make time for her. He had promised to take her to a lake he had heard of and also go to the movies since it's something they used to do quite regularly but stopped because of exams.

"I heard there the prettiest boy in town had the weekend off." A voice he immediately recognizes makes his cheeks twitch up and turn around to face her.

"Prettiest?" He teases putting away the cleaning cloth. He was closing down the diner for the night on Friday at 11pm and still hadn't had dinner yet.

"Yep, prettiest." Gwen leans her side against the counter where they place the dishes ready to be served.

"Well," he says walking up to her, "Here I am." He winks at her as he swings the white cloth on his shoulder and dries his hands on his black apron.

"Forget about economics and study for chef. You make the best burgers." He lets out a laugh and leans his back against the fridge in front of her. "Hi."

"Hello stranger." He sighs and closes his eyes in exhaustion. "I'm so tired."

"You're working a lot, Blake." The worried tone of her voice makes a soft smile appear on his face. "I admire you for wanting to help pay stuff but you also have to take care of yourself."

"I know."

There is a small pause in which Gwen takes a step towards him and brushes the curls off of his forehead. "I was going to say that Sean is throwing a mini party but you should probably-"

"I wanna go. Let's go!" He jumps on his feet as the word party leaves her mouth.

"Are you sure?"

"Totally." He knows Sean's basement party's. They involve a fair amount of beer and open mic sessions in which Gwen and him always end up taking control of. He loves singing with her, their voices even if so different, fit so well, creating a mixture that is so special.

"You just wanna sing with me, huh?" She teases hitting his arm.

"Free beer, Gwen. Free beer." The dimpled smile on his face makes her nervous in a good way. She had never really felt this way before but lately, when she steps towards him or even reaches up to touch him, something inside her body changes and she feels butterflies take over her skin.

  
  


Sean's parents were out of town for the weekend. Even though it wasn't their first party at his place, he reminded his friends about a few rules. His parents trusted him enough to leave him alone and let him host a little gathering at the basement because they knew it wouldn't escalate to anything uncontrollable. Most of the people were really into music so they spent the night covering songs and playing a few original tunes. The No Doubt gang was in the house along with Sean's band and some other people from Gwen and Blake's class. He had seen Monica in the back. The girl who had first smashed his heart, and even though it had been a while a go it still hurt a little to see her. Gwen had stayed by his side at the beginning, beer in hand they had joked around together until her brother had stolen her for a No Doubt performance. Ever since the death of their bandmate, and the depart of the main vocalist, she had been doing the main vocals along with her brother, but he honestly only had eyes for her. He studied her every move; the way her eyes closed at the deeper notes and how she smiled behind the mic when she opened them again and saw the people staring at her. Blake reached for his third beer of the night and teared of his eyes off her for a moment to open it. When he looked up again, Monica was sitting beside him quietly.

"Monica?"

She keeps quiet as she presses her lips together and slips her hands under her thighs. "You should tell her."

Blake shakes his head, "Excuse me?"

"Gwen. You should tell her that you lo- like her." He lets out a nervous chuckle as he runs a hand through his hair. "I know it's none of my business but-"

"She's my best friend."

"And you like her." He tears his eyes away from Gwen to look at who had been his first crush to see a glance of honesty in her eyes. He nods and looks back at Gwen to see her looking at Tony who's playing a bass solo. "Why wait?"

"I don't know." He really doesn't know why he is trusting her in this, in opening his heart.

"Don't wait until it's too late." He looks back at her and nods with a little smile on his face. She stays quiet by his side until the song is over and goes back to her friends at the other side of the room.

 

Some of the people had started to leave but the No Doubt guys plus Gwen, Sean and his band, a group of girls from the other school in town and Blake had stayed finishing up the beers that were left. He was drinking his fifth bottle and Gwen her fourth when someone suggested to play Never have I ever. Everyone agreed giggly and a little too happy because of the alcohol. Gwen took a seat next to Blake and leaned against him for most of the game.

"Okay okay," Daniel, one of Sean's bandmates said out loud, "Never have I ever cheated on a test." Most of them drink minus Blake who feels like he has to explain himself when everyone boos at him.

"He gets really nervous and sweaty. It's cute." Gwen leans against his side as she speaks. Blake feels his cheeks turn red from the embarrassment as the gang laughs at him. He looks down to have his eyes met Gwen's, who has her head on his shoulder tilt up to meet his gaze. She giggles making a soft smile appear on his face and his arm to wrap around her shoulders. He's enjoying this Gwen. It's not the first time he has seen her four beers down, but it's the first time she is touchy and clingy and he really can't complain.

"Never have I ever," Gwen's brother starts, "Done it at the back of the car."

"Eww Eric, I don't need to know that." Gwen grunts when her brother takes a sip along with three other people.

"Sorry little sis." He chuckles.

"Never have I ever," Gwen begins turning to look at Blake, "Slow-danced alone in my living room." She shows her tongue at Blake whose eyes widen and his whole face turns red. "You have to drink." She whispers for only Blake to listen and he does. He brings the glass bottle to his lips and takes a long sip not tearing his eyes away from her. When he puts the bottle down he sees that another guy and girl had drank as well so he feels less of an alien for doing so. He’d also heard some of the guys laugh out loud but he proudly ignores them.

"Never have I ever," a girl begins, "Pulled an all nighter." Gwen looks to her side and finds his eyes already on her. They clink their bottles and then drink. They have pulled all nighters at his and her house and also during the town's festivities when they'd hang around town and then leave to their place up the mountain to play a few songs.

The game continues on for half an hour when the clock strikes 12 o'clock. Gwen knows she can stay out until 2am today and Blake more or less the same, but Sean explains that he has to work tomorrow and that he wants to sleep off the alcohol. So they all leave. Gwen is tempted to go with her bandmates but seeing that Blake would probably be left alone she declines the invitation as much as Tony pushes her to go with them.

 

When he makes his way to his car Gwen shakes her head, "We're walking."

"I'm not drunk." He stares leaning against the side of his truck.

"Almost there buddy."

"I hold my alcohol better than you."

"True." She says leaning against the truck next to him. She keeps quiet for a few seconds debating whether she should ask the question or not, but at the end, she does. "Monica looked pretty." He frowns and turns his head to look at her.

"Yeah." He breathes out.

"What did she want?" She really has to know, it's driving her crazy. Seeing Blake talk and smile at her had woken up a jealousy inside of her she had never felt before.

"Nothing really." Blake says leaning off the car to take a few steps. They're still in front of Sean's house in the dimmed quiet street.

"If and this is an hypothetical situation," he makes it clear, "You liked someone and that person was about to leave," he turns on his feet and takes another step away from her. "let's say a year. And you wouldn't see them as much as you used to," he explains moving his hands in the air to not have them shaking on his sides. He turns around to look at her to find her closer than he had expected. In the middle of the street, Blake stares at her and she stares back at him with a curious look on her face.

"Carry on." She says.

"Right. Well if that happened, hypothetically speaking." Gwen nods, "Would you tell them you liked them? And that you cannot live without them? That she's the most beautiful person you've ever laid eyes on and that living away from her," he stops when he realizes that he has said her twice now. The nerves start to creep up his neck and he gulps rubbing his palms. He knows he would probably never explain this if he weren't a little tipsy, but he has to know. "Living away from her," he repeats looking everywhere but her, "Sounds like the most difficult challenge."

"I can't believe you're thinking about getting back together with Mo-"

"What? No! Forget about Monica." He takes a deep breath, "Would you? Tell them?"

She wipes a hand through her short her and frowns as she thinks about what to say. "Why would _this person_ leave when they can stay? Because there's that possibility _,_ right?" Blake feels his stomach tighten when she replies. Tipsy or not, hypothetically or not, they are opening their hearts to the other and it's making him incredibly nervous.

"Hypothetically, there is yes." He replies walking back to his car to lean against it.

"Then why leave?" He huffs and spins around to lean his forehead against the window of the truck, "I'd say fight for them. You have to fight for what you believe in, right?" Blake nods when he turns around to face her again.

"Thank you for this hypothetical conversation."

"Anytime."

 

They start to make their way back home. Sean doesn't leave very far away from their street, but it will take them 15 minutes for sure.

"Blake?" She stops walking for a moment and waits for him to turn around, "I uhm... The guys have asked me to be front woman."  She states feeling a huge weight leave her body.

"What? Wow! Oh my god, Gwen!" The excitement in his voice has her grinning from ear to ear. "That's amazing!"

"Yeah?"

He stops halfway to hug her when the insecurity in her voice shocks him. "Why are you scared?"

She closes her eyes and looks down at her white sneakers, "I don't know if I'll be good at-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence."

"But Blake-"

"But nothing!" He puts his hands on her shoulder and flexes his knees to meet her eyes, "You're amazing. No one commands the stage like you do at such a young age. No one, Gwen. I've told you a million times, you'll have your own hall of fame picture and star one day, this is just the beginning." She crashes against his body making him stumble back and bring a hand around her middle to keep them from falling. He feels her whimper and he softly runs a hand up and down her back. "No need to get all emotional, I'm just speaking the truth." He says to her ear.

"Thank you." She says against his chest before she steps away and creates a little space between them.

"Always." He charmingly smiles at her before he starts to walk down the road again. "Now," he stops a few seconds later, "I hope you still remember me when you're famous."

She giggles, "I could never forget about you."

 

He attends four No Doubt concerts throughout July and also sneaks in a few band rehearsals when he has time. He receives the best news when a University Of Tennessee letter arrives saying that he has been granted a partial scholarship. It's not really want he wanted but he thinks that it's better than nothing at all. The first two weeks of August fly by because all he thinks about when he's working is his road trip to the Grand Cañon with Gwen. They had been talking about it forever and they had finally found the time and the amount of money needed to get away for a few days. The last day of work, his boss invites him for dinner and wishes him well. He drives back home to change and then walks to Gwen's place where he knows they are doing band practice until late. He knocks on the door and chats a while with Gwen's parents before making his way to the garage. He hasn't heard any loud sound of music coming from there since he walked inside the house but her parents have assured him that they are there. He's about to open the door to walk inside the garage when he hears Gwen speak.

"But I'm leaving in two days."

"You cannot leave! Red Hot Chili Peppers are asking us to open for them!"

Blake freezes. As proud and happy as he is for them, they are talking about cancelling the only thing that has had him going throughout the year. The road trip with her.

"Blake and I have been talking about the road trip for four years now. He'll- I can't cancel."

"Blake, Blake, Blake..." A voice he recognizes as Tony's mocks Gwen's girly voice making the other guys laugh.

"Tony..." Gwen warns him.

"You're telling me that some cowboy,"

"Hey!" A proud smile appears on his face when he hears her defend him.

"He is suddenly more important than us? Than our future? It's the Red Hot Chili freaking Peppers, Gwen! Seriously!"

"He..."

"Gwen, it's the Red Hot Chili Peppers." His voice cuts her off making the whole band turn their heads to whoever is at the door. "Before you ask, your parents let me in."

She shakes her head and covers her face with her hands.

"See? Cowboy guy agrees."

"Fuck off Tony." Gwen says storming out the garage through the door Blake's at.  

"Gwen!" He spins on his feet and starts to follow her, "Would you stop, please? Gwen!" She runs up the stairs and to her bedroom where she gets to before him and closes the door on his face. He debates whether he should open it or not but at the end he doesn't. "Can we talk about this?"

He hears no reply so he waits and waits. He ends up sitting on the floor against the door because he's not leaving, he wants to talk about this.

He ends up falling asleep against the door only to be woken up later when the door opens and he falls on his back against the carpeted floor of her room.

"Ow." He grimaces in pain.

"Blake!" She squats down and puts a hand on his chest, "Are you okay?"

He laughs then and even though it takes her completely off guard, she joins in and lets her body lay next to his on the floor. After a minute of complete silence, Blake decides to explain himself.

"We can take a road trip some other day. It's the Red Hot-"

"I know." She cuts him off. "I just..."

"It's a big deal."

"I know." They keep their eyes fixed on the ceiling as they speak but steal glances from the corners of their eyes.

"Don't cancel because of me. This could really be the start of something incredible for the band and I would hate myself if you-"

"If Garth Brooks asked you to open for him, you would?" She cuts him off.

Blake turns to look at her to find her eyes on him already. "He wouldn't ask me-" he sees her roll her eyes and he chuckles, "but if he would, I'd accept."

Silence takes over again as Gwen keeps her eyes on him but he fixes them on the white ceiling. "What happened to our hypothetical conversation?" She asks out of the blue.

Blake thinks about it for a moment and then turns his body and props himself up on one elbow. "If you lo-" he stops and looks away from her, "I once heard that loving someone, in any meaning or form meant letting them go."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I don't know. I was hoping it'd be corny enough for you." He jokes making her chuckle and softly hit his chest.

"Idiot!" She squeezes his arm, "By the way, you just admitted that you love me."

He looks down at her, "I do love you. You're my best friend."

She draws the biggest smile on her face as he stares down at her in silence.

When he falls back on his back, Gwen decides to speak, "What happened to our hypothetical conversation?"

"I hypothetically don't know."

"So your hypothetical character is chickening away or he doesn't like the other hypothetical character anymore?"

"Oh no, he does."

"Then what?" Blake stands up then. He runs a hand through his hair, enters her room and paces the floor. In these few seconds, Gwen sits down crossed legged to look at him.

"I don't know, Gwen." He lets out a deep breath and spins on his feet to have his eyes fall on a photo on her bedside table. He had never seen it before but it's them a few weeks ago all suited up with fancy clothes before prom. Cello-taped to the side, there is the photo that used to be framed, one from a few years back in her garden. "Could I get a copy of that photo?" He asks.

"What ph- oh." She stops herself from continuing the question when she turns around and finds Blake reaching for the framed picture. "Sure. I'll ask my parents."

"Gwen, I..."

"Hey, we're waiting downstairs." Eric appears at the door cutting the speech Blake was about to give.

Gwen tears her eyes away from him to nod at Eric. "I'll be right down." Her older brother agrees and leaves.

"Go." Blake's soft voice has her looking back at him again.

"Promise me we will finish this hypothetical conversation."

"I promise."

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will the hypothetical conversation take place? Or not? haha :)


	4. Green dress covered in red plaid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sit tight.
> 
> To Jo. Thank you so much for the help :)

Gwen's nervous. She's softly tapping her fist against her tight and biting her nails. Blake's sitting in a chair in front her playing a few chords with a guitar he found in the changing room. Today's Red Hot Chili Peppers day. The band was asked to be at the venue right after lunch to meet the other band members and Gwen had taken Blake along. They had all been a little nervous at first but soon enough calmed and just became friends for a few hours with the more famous band.

"Gwen, it's going to be okay." His voice fills the silence and she looks up to meet his eyes.

"You really think so?" She asks slipping her hands under her thighs.

"Yes."

"I feel like I wanna vomit." Blake _yucks_ but then stands up to sit beside her on the sofa.

"It really will be okay. You're so good at this, everyone will love you," he takes a small breath and his eyes drop to her lips, "and the band." She had applied a little bit of lipstick and Blake was having a hard time concentrating.

"These people won't know our songs, no one knows our songs."

"I do." He proudly says showing her his best dimpled smile.

"You're you." She says, "These people? They won't know any, Blake. What do we want to prove?"

He reaches for her hands a takes them in his, "It will be. Once you're on the stage you will feel better."

 

And she does. When she and the guys appear on stage the crowd cheers and even though she cannot make up how many people are there, they sure are loud. She starts to dance and jump around and everyone immediately moves to the music. Blake sees a lot of heads bob to the rhythm of the music and that make him happy. He stays at one side of the stage with his VIP pass hanging off his neck and over his shirt. He had decided to leave the plaid and boots at home and instead had slipped in a white shirt and white Reebok shoes. Gwen turns to look at him from time to time and she always finds his eyes on her and a smile on his face that grows when she beams back. He notices how she puts a strand of hair behind her ear when she looks his way. When the last song of the set list is about to begin, Gwen turns on last time and he puts two thumbs up and her cheeks twitch up drawing the brightest smile. He winks and she does the same back as the instrumental music begins. Soon enough she's back to badass mode taking on the stage one last time.

 

He congratulates her and the band for the amazing work once they get off the stage. Tony throws him a look but he ignores it and smiles at him instead. He really doesn't know what he's done to receive this kind of treatment from the bassist, so he shakes his head and walk up to Gwen, who's leaning against the nearest wall.

"How cool was that?!" She exclaims turning her body to look at him as she lets her arm lean against the wall. "Wow!"

"So cool! I told ya, you had nothing to worry about!" His smile has her taking a step towards him as Blake freezes at the sudden proximity. He gulps and flexes his knees to be able to fix his eyes in hers. "What's wrong?"

"Sometimes I think you're the only one who believes in me."

His features go still as he looks at her. He shakes his head and places his hand on her cheek to have her head tilt up to meet her eyes, "Everyone believes in you. The guys asked you to be lead vocalist because they know you're the best to do so. Your parents? Even if they are a little bit skeptical about all of this, they are so proud of you," Gwen draws a smile on her face, "and obviously Eric as well." She chuckles and his thumb rubs her cheek, "I am proud of you. So very proud."

"You are the only one who voices it."

"What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't?" His dimpled grin makes her chuckle. His thumb traces over her twitched up chin and her eyes close to the contact. "I like this dress, by the way."

Her head tilts down to glance at it and then look up again, "I made it last night."

"Beautiful." He decides to move his hand from her cheek but she gets ahold of it before he has time to slip it inside his pocket like he always does.

"Thank you." A soft squeeze makes Blake's dimples pop on his face. He had started to let his stubble show and even though he didn't have much it was enough to have him look more mature than his usual baby face self.  

 

Eric comes around and steals Gwen for a band photograph and Blake loses her. He stays around backstage and even watches the Red Hot Chili Peppers perform from one side of the stage until he grows bored and lonely. He walks around in search of her but he comes up empty. He finds Eric and asks him but the eldest of the Stefani's doesn't know where his sister is either. So Blake wanders around the backstage. He ends up sitting on a black aluminum box used to carry the sound system and picks up a guitar he finds on a stand. He ends up playing an acoustic of _I wanna know what love i_ s. Ever since his stepfather had played in on the vinyl player he had grow to love the songs and the lyrics, mostly. He had learnt to play it on his guitar the next day and hadn't stopped playing it since then.

 

The concert ends soon enough and the band members start running passed him and down the corridor. Still, no sign of Gwen. He's growing impatient and more bored. He checks his watch to see it has been an hour since Eric had stolen Gwen for a picture and she hadn't come back. He jumps off the metal box and places the guitar on the stand again. Making his way down the corridor he goes straight to the changing room but finds it empty so he decides to check the guy's room as well. He knows it's at the end of the corridor on the right, next to the cafeteria. He slips his hands inside his pockets and begins to walk down the corridor. He walks passed the cafeteria and sees two people from the corner of his eye. He stops dead on his feet and then takes a couple of steps back.

He just wishes he hadn't, because the door is wide open and right at the end of the room, but still framed by the threshold is Gwen. But she isn't alone.

Tony is kissing her.

He runs away. He doesn't look back, he doesn't even let Eric know that he is leaving, he just does. It takes him a while to get out of the parking lot since the concert had just finished and everyone was leaving, but an hour later he's home.

His mother tries to stop him from running up the stairs but he closes the door in a loud bang to let the whole house know that he is not in the mood to talk.

Dot knocks on his door but he doesn't open. He knows she could just pull down the handle and walk but still she doesn't and Blake is very thankful for that.

He crawls into bed and falls asleep soon after.

 

When he wakes up the next morning he wishes it all had been a dream. Realizing that it hadn’t been, he covers his face with his hands and groans loudly.

When his stomach growls he makes his way downstairs to find his sister preparing toasts and coffee.

"Good morning." She says cheerfully.

"Morning." Blake replies without showing much enthusiasm. He opens the cupboard to get his cereals and then gets a bowl from the **** drawer near the fridge.

Endy stares at him as he moves around quietly. "Want to talk about it? Whatever is worrying you?" She decides to break the silence. Blake looks up to her and starts to shake his head but ends up nodding. "I'm all ears."

"How do you know when you're in love?" It even surprises him how straightforward he is. Endy's eyes widen and Blake chuckles when he sees the surprised look on his sister's face.

"Direct. I like that." She begins, "Well lil bro even though I am not the ideal person to answer that question, I'll try to help you." She walks closer to him and then leans against the counter. "You know when you're in love when all the love songs make sense." Blake stares at her and sighs.

 _It makes sense_. He thinks.

"When being by hi- _her_ , in your case-," Blake throws her sister a dimpled grin, "side, is the best moment of the day and the days that you don't see her feel longer than a week." Endy turns to find the butter and spreads it her toast, "When you can't help but stare and the thought of reaching up to touch her gets you nervous and indecisive." She takes a bite of her toast as Blake listens carefully. "Your palms sweat and your heart beats faster. When you laugh at the silliest jokes just because you can't help but see her smile too."

She takes a deep breath and lets Blake take a moment to himself. He runs a hand through his hair and looks down at his bare feet, "When the thought of leaving her is the hardest thing you'll ever do."

"Should I not leave?" He asks then. "Gwen, I mean. Should I not leave for Nashville? Because I feel all of that. Even if now I'm a little mad at her I still..." He breathes out and puts his hands on his hips, "love her?" It comes out as a question because he's not completely sure if he loves her like _that_. Sure he loves her, she's his best friend and that is one kind of love; he is not entirely sure about the other kind of love. That is undiscovered territory for him.

"You have to do what your heart tells you to do. Follow your heart and you cannot go wrong."

Blake pours himself coffee and stays silent for a few minutes as he eats his cereals. "I want to go to Nashville, it's been my dream since forever. I've always dreamt of this moment, the day I'd be able to pack things up and leave for college." He takes a deep breath, "I know I'm not able to study music but just being there is like heaven for me."

"I know. And I think you should pursue your dream, just like Gwen is pursuing hers."

"What if choosing our dreams means losing us? What we have right now or could have?"

"Dude I'm not some kind of witch. I don't know." Endy jokes in an ironic tone that has Blake chuckling but also wishing she could give him the answer he can find himself. "But, Blake I'll tell you one thing," she meets his eyes and the boy nods, "risking our hearts is why we're alive."

He presses his lips together and shakes his head, "That does not help, En. Do I risk my heart and go to Nashville knowing that I could lose her or do I choose her and lose Nashville?"

"That's for you to think about." She ruffles his hair, takes the last one bite of her toast and then leaves the kitchen humming a song.

 

When she feels his lips on hers the first thing that comes to mind is _finally_ , she melts into the kiss but keeps her hands on her sides as Tony's come up to her waist and pull her closer to him. When he starts to press his lips on hers with a little more force Gwen panics and pulls back. She takes one step away but Tony takes one closer and tries to kiss her again.

"Tony, no."  

He throws his head back laughing, "You're going to say no, now?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I can't believe you're actually falling for cowboy guy." He says sarcastically. "He's leaving, Gwen. The guy that claims to be your best friend is leaving. That's how good of a friend he is." He explains raising his voice and making Gwen's hand shake in her sides.

"He deserves to pursue his dream."

"What dream? The guy can barely play the guitar." He laughs as he turns around and faces the cafeteria floor. "He will not go far. We will. We just opened for the freaking Red Hot-"

"I know, I was there. Remember?"

"He's just a guy that knows how to play a few cords." Gwen breathes in and out and fights her urge to escape the room.  "If he wanted to be someone in the future he should be out there opening for other cowboy guys."

"Tony, that is enough." She raises her voice but the teenager continues

"He's a loser."

She storms out. She will not stand there and hear her bandmate treat her best friend like dirt. Blake's talented, very talented. He just hasn't been given the opportunity to shine yet.

 

She searches for him everywhere, he even asks Eric to enter the men's restrooms for her. Nothing. He’s nowhere in sight. She’s about to just leave when she gets called back for an after party with the whole team and the two bands.

There they are asked to open them throughout the tour. Gwen’s the one who appears to think about it while all the others jump up with a _yes_ escaping their mouths. She asks the questions. She gets answers. Twenty cities in three months which meant skipping college or applying for online classes. All the guys turn to her and feeling underpressured, Gwen nods.

She leaves the venue with Eric, in his car, after admitting that Blake had left without letting her know.  

 

The next day, she sleeps until lunch time and because her mother wakes her up. She's not really in the mood to eat but does because she doesn't want everyone asking questions.

Around five she leaves the house and walks up to Blake's determined to talk to him once and for all. He finds him closing the front door with his guitar in hand. He freezes in his shoes when he spins on his feet and finds her on the front yard, standing next to his truck.

"Hi." Her soft voice has her heart warming up and a soft smile appearing on his face.

"Hi." He clutches the guitar close to his chest and walks down the stairs. "What are you-"

"You left." He closes his eyes in defeat and then walks passed her to carefully place his guitar on the bed of his truck.

"I left." He says walking to the driver side.” And now I have to go again.”

"Where to? You're not working anymore."

"I just... have to, okay?" He groans reaching for the door handle. She is quick though. She rounds the car and leans against the door to keep him from opening it.

"I was dead worried about you, you idiot!" She raises her voice at him, "Do not leave again without telling me first."

"You were busy." He says in a sarcastic tone.

"Excuse me?" She huffs.

“I’ll just walk.” Blake puts the car keys inside his pocket and starts walking towards the road.

“What the hell Blake!” She yells following him.

“Right, everything is my fault. Yell at me, yell.” He jokes as he starts to walk in the middle of the empty street with his guitar in his right hand.

“What have I done?” She runs and stands in front of him to keep him from continuing, “Tell me if I did something wrong or… I just- I don’t know. Talk to me.”

“You left me alone for god knows how long and then I had to see you k-,” he stops. He can’t even let the words leave his mouth, it freaks him out. “Go away, Gwen.” The confusion in her features and the sad look in her eyes has Blake at a crossroad. He cannot bear to see her like this, but he is mad at her. He cannot soften now.

“Why?”

“Why?” He asks ironically as he turns to look up at her. “You’re asking why I want you to leave?” She nods. Blake sighs and then walks back to his front yard. He lets the tailgate fall and sits on the bed of his truck where he hugs his knees close and lets his head fall on them. Gwen watches him. She doesn’t understand what’s going on with him and why he can’t seem to stand still. He’s making her nervous.

“Are you feeling well?” She asks concerned.

“I don’t know.” He groans and then looks up again. He stares at her and takes a deep breath, “You kissed Tony.” There it is. He breathes in loudly and then out as his fingers link on his lap, he feels his lower lip shake so he bites down on it and then closes his eyes in defeat.

“Incorrect.” That’s the only word that comes out of her mouth which has Blake letting out an ironic laugh. There’s a moment of silence until she decides to explain herself better, “He kissed me.”

“Same thing.”

"No."

"I really don't want to talk about it." He tilts his head down again and ruffles his hair.

"Well I do, so you're going to listen to me." He rolls his eyes as he keeps his head down. Gwen takes the time to look around as she begins, “Eric took me away for a few pictures and to tell us that he is quitting." Blake immediately looks up, "he wants to work on TV and do animated cartoons or whatever." She explains avoiding his eyes. "I didn't know how to react but he wants us to continue to keep going and make him proud." Blake nods and she takes a moment to take a breath and fix her eyes on his again. He looks at her curiously, there is a bit of impatience in his eyes as well, but he’s fully listening to her, like he has always done. “So, we just talked for awhile and Eric got beers and we just got carried away and I was in a little bit of shock cos my brother, the one who initiated all of this, is quitting… I’m still a little,” she lifts her hands in the air, “I don’t know.”

“I think I can understand how you feel. Like you’re lost but in a city you know perfectly well.” She nods a few times, “I know that feeling.” He feels the same when he looks at her and he doesn’t know how to bring up their hypothetical conversation.

There is a moment of an almost awkward silence in which Blake rubs his palms together and Gwen bites down her lower lip, “Tony kissed me and I am guessing you ran away because if you had stayed…”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” He cuts her off.

“If you had stayed,” She repeats, “You would have seen me push him away.” His eyes widen and his hands fall on his lap as he stares at her, mouth wide open. “I ran to find you but I obviosly-“

“Didn’t find me.” He finishes for her. “You like Tony a lot,” Blake says avoiding her eyes.

“It didn’t feel right. You’re supposed to get butterflies and happy thoughts or whatever…” Blake chuckles at how girly but true it sounded, “It didn’t.”

“Been watching a lot of Saturday after dinner movies, have we?” He teased knowing fully well how much Gwen loves the rom coms they play on TV.  

“Blake?” she gets his attention, “I’m sorry for forgetting about you.”

“It’s-“

“No, it’s not okay.” She cuts him off as she reaches for his hand on his lap, “I’m so sorry.” She comes to stand in between his legs hanging off of the truck.

He feels all his walls crumble down and a small dimpled smile appear on his face. Her eyes shine in the afternoon sun and her smile grows on her face when she sees that his does as well. “You were so amazing yesterday. Really. Wow!”

“Thank you.” She will admit to just having blushed a little bit. “They actually asked us to open for them again on their tour starting next month.”

“Tour? Next month?”

“I’ll have to apply to less classes and maybe take some online but everyone’s on board and-“

“That’s amazing. Congrats!” He squeezes her hand. “See? Opening for them was the start of something good.”

“My parents don’t seem very okay with it.”

“I can understand why. But this is an incredible opportunity.”

“It really is.” She withdraws her hand from his hold and then jumps on the truck to sit by his side. Her arms touches him and he throws her a smile as they stay silent for a long minute.

“I’m leaving in three days.” He breaks the comfortable silence and looks away, scared of her reaction. He freezes when he feels the warmness of her palm in his chin, gently tugging on it to have him look at her.

“What am I going to do without you?” Her soft tone makes him gulp and sigh loudly as he lets his head fall against her palm.

“Take over the world.” She frowns and shakes her head, “Next time I’ll come back from Nashville I’ll have to book an appointment to see you cos you’ll be opening for god knows what band or even headlining your own tour.” His hand makes its way to her thigh. Her eyes look down and she smiles at their innocent touching. “You know how in bands there is always one that shines, like let’s see,” he explains making her giggle, “U2, Bono. The Rolling Stones, Mick Jagger.” He throws her his best dimpled grin and then continues, “Gwen. Not even Gwen Stefani, no, just Gwen will be enough to know it’s you they’re talking about. Gwen from No Doubt. There is no-“

“Stopping me.” She smiles brightly. “I know.”

Her her falls against his shoulder and his immediately turns to have his lips meet her temple to leave a soft peck on her skin. “Let’s make the most out of these three days.” A bright smile forms on his lips as the words come out of her mouth. When he moves away she tilts her head up to meet his eyes, “Where were you going?”

“Our spot.”

“You were going to our spot to sing,” she says pointing at the guitar, “without me?” She asks dramatically.

He laughs and then reaches for Johanna, “I...”

“Can we still go?”

 

He drives them to their spot halfway to the top of the hill. Just like he had done in his front yard, he lets the tailgate fall and she watches her jump on the bed of the truck. He turns around to look at the view on Anaheim from a higher point. “Remember when I first arrived?” Blake asks giving his back to Gwen.

“I do.”

“I was so scared.” He takes a deep breath still looking down at the city, “Richie had just died and I didn’t know how to carry on.”

“Blake...” she softly calls out for him but he doesn’t respond to it. He stands still on his spot and just moves one hand up to his hair.

“You were the only one that didn’t make a comment on my clothes or hair.” Gwen’s already halfway to meet him when he starts to quietly sob. Her hands come up around him as her chest crashes against his back and her hands link together on his stomach. “You didn’t speak to me that first day in class but you appeared out of nowhere when I was walking home and made me forget about everything bad that had happened, for a few minutes.” She stands on her tiptoes and rest her chin on his shoulder. “I didn’t realize then how important you were going to become to me.” One of his hands comes all the way up to hers on his chest and he gives them a light squeeze. “I wish I could go back in time and meet you again.” He slowly begins to turn around hoping that her arms would stay around him but she moves them back to her sides.

“What would you change?” She whispers.

“Nothing.”

“Liar.” She tickles his side making him bend over a little bit.

She bites down her lower lip as she looks at him. His short hair is so appealing and the stubble he had started to grow felt so raspy but yet so soft against her palm. His eyes shone more brightly lately and he had also been smiling more. Or maybe it was just her that was taking notes of all these little things that she hadn’t even stopped to think about before?

“Remember when we were sixteen and we couldn’t wait to be eighteen and leave for college?” He asks out of nowhere. “When we laughed at Eric and his girlfriend because they were all lovey-dovey over each other and we couldn’t understand why.” Gwen tilts her head back and laughs. Yep, they used to do that.

“I remember my mother saying ‘that’s going to be you one day.’” Gwen imitates her mother’s voice.

“Don’t you wish you had that?”

Gwen tears her eyes away from him to look around for a moment and then fixes her chocolate coloured eyes on his caribbean sea ones and nods. “I do.”

“I do too.” Silence takes over them as the staring gets too much and they both look down to their laps. Blake links his hands together as she rubs her palms and then shivers. Next thing she knows Blake is next to her, knees on the hard floor and taking off his plaid.

“No, I’m okay.” He shakes his head and opens the piece of cloth to make it easier for her to put it on. The shirt is two sizes two big for her but it smells like him and she loves that. She tilts her head up and shyly smiles at him, “thanks.”

He takes the chance to sit crossed legged next to her. He plays with the edge of his white shirt as Gwen bites down her lower lip and looks at him from the corner of her eyes. She wants to bring up their hypothetical conversation but she doesn’t know how. It scares her to even think about it, it gets her all nervous and insecure. “I do not want a broken heart.” She doesn’t know why she speaks the words but they just kind of leave her mouth before she has time to stop.

“It comes with falling in love, no?”

“I guess.”

“If anyone breaks your heart call me up and I’ll do something about it.” He says making her chuckle, “Now that I think about it, no one would never dare to break your heart cos once they’d get it, they’d be too stupid to let it go.”

She draws a soft smile on her face, “Do you think we’d ever have that?”

“I hope so. I don’t want to be single forever.” He says with a little laugh at the end. “Maybe I’ll find someone in Nashville.” He wants to slap himself when he watches the beautiful white toothed smile on her face fade away and her eyes leave his.

“Why don’t you just leave already?” In one quick move she’s on the ground and walking away from him. “Leave to cowboy land and never come back. Find someone who you will be able to sing a country duet with and who will get your damn southern jokes.” She yells as she walks away taking off his plaid and letting it fall on the ground. He stands on the bed of his truck as he watches her storm off yelling in a tone he had never heard from her before. When he realizes how fast she is moving, Blake jumps off the truck and runs to her.

“Do you think I wanna leave?” He yells back as he runs, hoping his voice would stop her. “If I could stay I would.”

“I don’t believe you.” She raises her voice again and continues walking.

“I think I deserve to try something else.” He stops walking seeing that there is no way he will be able to stop her when she has something set in mind. “No one wants to know shit about country music here.” She is really not that far but he has to raise his voice either way. “Why are you so mad?”

She stops, takes a deep breath and turns around. “I am not mad.”

“Right.” He lets out a sarcastic laugh. “And now I’m going to drive you home and we’re going to pretend like this never happened. Like when we slowed danced in my backyard and then at the school dance.” He turns around and starts to make his way back to the truck as his hands fly to his hair and he yells letting out the caged helplessness he feels inside.

“Finally!” Gwen’s the one to yell this time. His hand freezes on the door handle and he softly shakes his head and presses his lips together.

“Finally, what?” He spins on his feet and asks when she’s close enough.

“I don’t wanna put this conversation off any longer.” She speaks in a softer tone as she stands indecisive in front of him. “Why can’t we seem to talk lately?”

He rests his back against the cold metal of the truck and then looks down hiding a smile. “It’s difficult to talk when there’s so much a stake.”

“It’s still you and me.” She assures him.

“ I feel like we’ve changed or maybe we’ve just grown up and we’re not just high school Gwen and Blake anymore.”

“Like we have more responsibilities now, right? That if we screw something up a band aid won’t do it.” They share a little quiet laugh and then Blake nods.

“Part of me doesn’t want to go but the other part of me is screaming to have an adventure. To go somewhere new and pursue my dream.” He explains leaning off of the car to pace the floor. Gwen follows his moves, the way his eyes shine when the sun setting down hits them or the way he moves his hands in the air when he talks. His dimples appear throughout the speech and that only tells her how excited he is for this new chapter of his life. “The part of me that want to stay,” he turns to face her and rubs his hands together, “wants to stay for you.” Her breath catches in her throat when the words escape his mouth and a soft grin appears in his face. “Also a bit for my mum cos if she were here now she’d be looking at me with her eyebrows raised and her mouth slightly opened.” She giggles and his cheeks twitch up at the sight of her beautiful smile and that soft melody her mouth makes when she’s happy.

“I can share you with your mum.” She admits putting a strand of her brown hair behind her ear. She takes a step forward and Blake just watches her. The smile on his face grows when he realizes that she’s wearing a green dress and his grey and red plaid over it. The two don't match but if there is someone to pull that off, that is Gwen. “I want you to live your dream. I just wish you didn’t have to go to Nashville for that.”

“Yeah.” He breathes out and runs a hand down his shirt. “Gwen?”

“Yea?”

He feels his palms start so get sweaty and shaky but he takes a deep breath and tilts his head up to meet her gaze, “remember the hypothetical conversation?” She nods once, “You said that one should fight for the person they... like and for what they believe in.” She takes another step towards him and nods yet again. “What if the girl I like and what I believe in are not compatible?” She bites down her lower lip and closes her yes for a brief moment lowering her head back down again. “If I have one, I can’t have the other and I also don’t want to come in the way of her and her future cos,” he takes a step forward and flexes his knees to meet her eyes but she won’t look up. Blake puts his hand on her chin and slowly tilts her head up to have their gazes meet, “because she’s going go be the biggest star, win Grammy’s and stuff.”

“Blake...”

“I rather have you the way I have you now than to lose you because of distance.” His southern drawl comes into action along with his dimples and that’s all she needs to get lost in him. Her forehead comes to rest against his chin and he then brings his arms around her upper back and sways her a little bit when her arms also come around his waist.

“Why are we just now feeling like this?” She whispers against his neck.

“Sometimes something changes, like a switch, and one morning you wake up and the person that you only saw as your friend becomes something more.” He speaks the words against her ear as she quietly listens and breathes in his scent.

“You’re going to be an incredible songwriter one day, Blake Shelton.”

“My songs will be good cos they’ll be about you.” He pushes back but still keeps her in his arms. She tilts her head up and softly smiles when he sees how blue his eyes are.

“I think I understand what that phrase means.” She explains.

“Which one?”

“If you love someone you let them go.” She says right to his eyes, “Whoever said that forgot to mention how much it hurts.”

“That bastard.” He chuckles making her let out a laugh that dies against his cheek when she leans closer to him again. “I like you.” She nuzzles her nose against his neck making him shiver, “Living away from you will be the most difficult challenge.” He takes a deep breath, “You’re the most beautiful person in every room. In the world.” He leans away and waits for her to look up. When she does he sees the single tear threatening to make its way out of her eyes and down her cheek, but she holds it. “Now we’re not in any room and you’re still the most beautiful.” She doesn’t fight it any longer. The tear slowly runs free down her cheek but dies on his lips when he leans in to press them against her soft and warm skin.

“Blake.” Her hands come up to his shoulders as she holds on for dear life.

“This hypothetical character is not so hypothetically in love with you.”

 

Her lips land on his and the world stops. The hands of all the clocks fall off. The sun freezes on the horizon and the air stops making the few leafs on the floor stop moving. His heart misses a few beats and an electrifying sensation runs through his veins making his whole body warm up and a soft smile appear on his features. She feels every cell of her body melt to him; the famous butterflies on the stomach when kissing the right person exist, she can feel them going wild and making her cheeks twitch up against his smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so nervous about the ending. What are your thoughts on it?
> 
>  
> 
> THANK YOU so much for reading and reaching out to me on the comments or even on twitter, y'all make me so happy.  
> Thank you


	5. Infinity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this got a little long. Oops.
> 
> For Lea. Thank you so much for the help Eurohomie! ;) Here you have something to keep you up until 3am.
> 
>  
> 
> This picks up where chapter 4 ended.

There are a few seconds in which he doesn’t know what to do. He feels her mouth on his and all he can do is freeze and then smile. His hands shoot up in the air as he feels Gwen’s in his sides bringing him closer to her and he melts. His hands softly fall on her neck where his thumb caresses her warm skin and if love feels this good he doesn’t ever want to move.

 _This is heaven._ She thinks as she parts her lips to suck on his lower lip, earning a soft moan from him that has goosebumps appearing on her skin and a shiver to run down her back caused by one of his hands that comes up to the back of her head to bring their faces even closer together, if possible. A grin breaks on her face when she feels him bend over a little and playfully kiss her again as one of her legs flies on the air and she tightens her hold on him. They finally separate when the two smiles break into giggles and it makes it impossible to keep the game going.

“Wow.” She breathes out when she feels his lips on her forehead. They had quietly taken two steps backwards so that his back was touching the truck and she was leaning against him.

“Incredible.“ He whispers against the skin of her forehead. “Will it be too girly if I said that I felt those butterflies you were talking about?”

She tilts her head up and lets out a little giggle that has him leaning down to softly peck her lips, “Not at all. I did too.”

“You did?” She nods, “Must’ve done something good.” An even bigger smile appears on her face when he quotes one of her favourite songs intentionally because he winks down at her and also puts a strand of her brown hair behind her ear.

“I have an idea.” She says after a long minute of silence in which he had softly traced lines on her back and she had slipped her hands under his shirt to touch his warm skin and nuzzled his neck.

“Care to share with the class?” He asks when she just stares at him, getting lost in his eyes.

“I don’t think I have even seen eyes more blue.”

“Blue? I have brown eyes.” He says comically in a _duh_ tone that has Gwen softly hitting his chest. “Ouch.” He fakes a pout.

“Aww poor baby.” Gwen kisses the place where she had hit him and then looks back up again. “Do you have your notebook?”

“Yeah. Inside the case.” Blake says pointing back at the guitar.

She lets go of him and jumps on the bed of the truck where she sits crossed legged. She opens the old notebook and from it fall off a few papers which she reaches to put back inside. When she takes a quick look at them she sees what song it is. She bites down her lower lip and then slowly starts to look up to him. _“I wanna know what love is_?” She teases.

Blake, who was still standing outside of the truck, his arms resting on the side, smiles and blushes a little bit, “I learnt to play it.”

“You did?” He nods and then jumps on the truck to sit right in front of her. “Will you play it later?”

“Of course.” A charming dimpled smile breaks across his face as she sees her press her lips together and nod.

“Okay so, three days.” Gwen says again, “Let’s make it our little forever.”

He stays quiet as she talks and just stares at her and watches her move her hands and her _oh_ so beautiful mouth. The excitement in her eyes shatters him a little because three days is seventy two hours and even if he wishes he could freeze time and have their little forever, it will not be enough. He knows he will cry, and she will sob. That’s how it will go down. If they have seventy two hours he plans on making the most out of them. Starting by packing tonight even if that means getting zero sleep. “You’re not listening to me.”

He shakes his head and falls back on planet earth after his little internal monologue, “Sorry. Go ahead, I’m listening now.”

“You better be.” She winks at him and he grins. “Okay so we should make a list of all the things we want to do during these three days.” She says ripping off a piece of paper and then handing the notebook to him.

“Three things?”

“Five.” She says.

“Five, okay.” He looks down at the blank piece of paper and then at her. She looks around looking for a surface to write on but when she comes up empty she puts the paper on her tights and waits. “You can use Johanna as your table.” Blake says pointing at the guitar. She raises her eyebrows and he nods, “Go ahead.”

She stares down at the blank paper and without lifting her head she studies him. He’s looking around and if she is right his paper is still white as well. He taps the pen on the notebook and then turns his head to look at her. She pretends to be thinking but the chuckle that escapes his mouth lets her know that he has caught her.

She smiles when she gets the first thing she wants to do and then the rest just flow out of her. When she’s done, she folds the paper, puts Johanna aside and then looks at him. “Almost done.” He says without lifting his head from the paper. “Okay.” He puts the pen aside and brings his gaze to meet hers. “What now?” He asks in an excited tone.

“Now we read the first one, then the second... one each.”

“Ladies first.” He shoots her a dimpled smile and she giggles back.

“One. Jump from the high rock in the lake.” She reads and then looks up to see him gulp uncomfortably. He covers his mouth and nervously laughs when she tilts her head to the left and giggles. “No going back now, mister.”

He uncomfortably moves on his spot but then nods letting out a huge sigh. “Okay, if you jump, I jump.”

“Now you.”

“One. Have breakfast in LA.” She raises her eyebrows at him and her mouth slightly opens.

“You’re weird.” She beams, “but cute.” Before he has time to find something to reply to that she is reading the second thing on her list, “Two. Try all the milkshakes at Harper’s.”

“I like that one.” He says smiling big, “Okay. Two. Make you dinner.”

“I like your two a lot.” She says moving closer to him.

“I like _you_ a lot.” He states right to her eyes. They way her pupils had slighting dilated made him warm inside because it meant she liked what he had said, it had had a positive impact on her. His hands come all the way to her converse shoes as he moves them apart to have her legs form a V to make it possible for her to move even closer to him. He spread his long legs as well, so hers fall on his and his hands on her waist pull her almost on top oh his lap. She shyly looks away but when his hand comes all the way to the right side of her face she brings her eyes back to his. “I do. Like a lot lot.” He sees her cheeks turn slightly red and her eyes close.

“You’re incredible.” She whispers leaning in to peck his nose. “Three?” He nods pulling away to create a little space between them. “Three. Sing our hearts out around town late at night.”

“Aha! My favourite so far!” He bounces excited. “Write each other a letter to be opened in ten years.”

Her eyes grow open as her sides twitch up making the brightest smile appear on her face. “Okay.” Even the tone of her voice is smiling. “2004. Where would we be?”

“I don’t know about me but you’ll have a Grammy somewhere in your house.”

“You’re very sure about the Grammy thing, huh?”

“Hundred percent.” He says proudly.

“I’ll have to mention you in my acceptance speech then.” She winks at him and then looks down to her paper again, “Four. Teach me how to play the guitar.” Blake looks at Johanna and then back at Gwen who is grinning at him.

“My favourite girls.” She lets out a giggle, “Four. Slow dance until we get tired.”

“We never got to slow dance at prom.” She points out.

“That’s why. I even have the cassettes ready.”

“Lots of country?” He shakes his head.

“Lil bit of everything.”

“Five and last. Don’t cry when we say goodbye.” She says fully well knowing that she’d be the first to break down.

“I will sob.” Blake says letting out a laugh. “Like a baby.”

“I hate goodbyes.” Gwen states quietly. He stares at her for a moment but when she looks down and tries to hide a sob, he moves to her side and pulls her to him by putting his arm around her shoulders and having her head fall on his chest. “I don’t want to say goodbye, Blake.” He feels his shirt water a little bit so he tightens the hold on her. He has to hold it together to not break, he wants to do it for her even if he is breaking up piece by piece inside.

“We’ll say see you later.” He whispers on her hair. “See you soon. See you in a bit. Everything but goodbye.” Her hands comes around his torso and her head moves to his shoulder where she keeps on letting a few tears run free.

“Still feels like a goodbye.”

“No.” He brings his hands to frame her face and tilts it up. His thumbs wipe out her tears and then he leans in to press one soft peck on her wet cheek, “I don’t want you to cry because of me. All I ever want to see in your pretty face is a smile. Can you do that for me?” He asks gently. Gwen closes her yes and softly nods. His index fingers land in her cheeks and he softly tugs on them to twitch up and they do. A slightly sad but still a smile appears on her puffy face. “There you go.”

“Blake.” She whispers.

“Yes, pretty girl?” He keeps his eyes on hers the whole time because he knows she needs the eyes contact right now.

“Don’t...” she begins but then closes her mouth and shakes her head.

“What? Please tell me.”

“Don’t become someone else’s best friend when you’re gone.”

“I promise I won’t.”

He lets her head fall against his shoulder again and silence takes over for a long time. He just takes the time to think about everything that has happened and everything that will happen. He is keeping it together but it’s about time he breaks. He knows he will at some point. He’s about to call out for her when he hearts her slow and calm breathing; her head starts to slide down his shoulder and it’s all Blake needs to realize that she has fallen asleep. He lets her be for about thirty minutes until he checks the time to see it’s nearly 7 and his mother will be expecting him for dinner in half an hour. He also knows Gwen has dinner around the same time so they better get going. His hand makes its way to her cheek where he rubs her skin gently and she begins to stir. “Hey,” he says softly, “we better get going or we’ll be late for dinner.”

“I fell asleep?” She asks in a groggy tone and he chuckles nodding, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I will gladly be your pillow if you feel like sleeping again.”

She smiles shyly and looks down, “Thank you.”

 

He stops the truck in front of her house and with that also dies _With or Without you_ , which was playing on the background, making space of a nervous silence between two people looking everywhere but at each other but with matching shy and giddy smiles on their faces. He fidgets with the keys and then leaves them on the little space under the radio player. On the other side, Gwen bites down her lower lip and curls her hair in between her fingers as she thinks about something to say. Anything to break this almost awkward silence.

“We never got to your number five.”

Blake turns his head to look at her, “Number five.” He takes a small breath in and then wets his lips, “Kiss you again.” His dimpled grin shows a mixture of excitement and shyness that is adorable to her. She blushes a little and looks down to her lap only to look up again when he speaks, “I don’t know if we should though.”

Her eyes grow wide, “Wh- why?” She doesn’t care if she sounds desperate or needy, but she needs to do that again. That kiss was the best thing she has ever done and she doesn’t know if she can’t live a life in which she doesn’t get to do that again.

He reaches for her hands on her lap and brings them up to his lips, “I...”

“I shouldn’t have kissed you in the first pl-“

“Don’t.”

“But, Blake-“

“Maybe we should just leave it as a one time thing because I don’t want to get used to it, then leave and break your heart. And mine.”

“It’s going to get shattered either way.” She sniffs and looks outside to have a brief moment to compose herself. “I just... I hate us for not doing this sooner.”

“I agree.” He stares at her as she looks away. It’s breaking him that she’s decided to look away but he thinks she deserves the time. “Gwen,” he tries to get her attention but he doesn’t succeed. Either way he continues, “It’s not that I don’t want to. God! If there is one thing in this world that I wanna do is kiss you. I’d give up breathing just to kiss you full time.” He watches as she lets out a little laugh and her face breaks into a smile that has his heart skipping a beat. Her head starts to slowly look back at him as he continues, “That was the most incredible moment of my life.” The brightest smile appears on her face as her cheeks warm up and a shiver run down her spine. She decides to keep quiet and just lean in and kiss him again but he pulls away before their lips meet. “Wait!” She shakes her head and embarrassingly moves back to her seat. “No, no. Gwen.” His hand makes its way to her cheek and slowly turns her head to meet her gaze, “Look at me, please.” She opens her eyelids and stares into his blue eyes, “ _I_ wanted to kiss _you_ this time.”

She hits his chest playfully. “Idio-“ the word dies on her mouth when his lips land on hers and all she can do it grip his shirt and pull him closer to her. He ouches when he moves on the seat and leans forward but something  kind of sharp object keeps him from moving forward. She grins against his lips and sighs when he playfully bites down her lower lip which causes her hand to come up all the way to his stubbly cheek.

“Blak-“ him kissing down her neck betrays her speaking abilities as a moan escapes her mouth instead and he chuckles on her skin making goosebumps appear on her body. “Whoa.”

“What, what? You okay?” He pulls away immediately but leaves his hands on her arm and cheek.

“I’m fine.” She says pulling up the sleeves of _his_ plaid shirt to see the goosebumps on her skin.

“Are you cold?”

She shakes her head letting out a laugh, “No dummy. That’s...” she looks down almost embarrassed to speak.

“What?” His soft voice encourages to keep going.

“You give me goosebumps.” He lifts her arms up to show him.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” His dimples pop on his face and his eyes light up. “You are okay though, right?” She moves closer to him and lets their noses softly rub against each other.

“I’m more than okay.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” She nods, “How do you feel about having breakfast in LA tomorrow?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll pick you up at 7.”

“Alright.” Her cheeks twitch up as she leans in and kisses his cheek as her fingers get lost in his hair for a brief moment. “Bye, Blake.”

“Good night.” She’s about to take his plaid off and hand it back to him when Blake’s hand on hers stops her from doing so, “Keep it. It looks better on you.”

 

Gwen walks backwards watching him watching her until her ankles collide against the porch stairs and she almost stumbles and falls on her back. She giggles looking down and away from him as he can’t help but let out a little laugh that reaches her ears. One last look at him and then she opens the door to her house and disappears behind it.

“I’m home.” She yells as she always does.

“Hi darling.” Her mother’s voice welcomes her from the kitchen.

“Hi mum.” She cheerfully greets her as she walks inside the kitchen.

Her mother turns around, wooden spoon in hand and smiles at her daughter, “You look... radiant.”  

“Yeah?” Gwen shakes her head and reaches out to get a cracker from the opened bag on the kitchen table. “I was just out with Blake.”

“Oh!” She throws Gwen a cheeky grin which the young girl frowns at. “You just look happy that’s all.”

“I am.”

“That’s his button down.” Gwen nods.

“I was cold.”

“Such a gentleman.” Her mother points out going back to the gnocchi cooking on the stove. Gwen sits on one of the wooden stools and pours herself a glass of water. Her mother cooking and a few steps on the floor above are the only sounds breaking the silence but Gwen’s head is going at a hundred miles per hours. She debates if telling her mother about Blake. She has always been open to her about everything in her life, even about her crush on Tony.

“We-“

“Bl-“ they both say at the same time, “Carry on sweetheart.”

“No, you first.” She panics at the thought of actually telling her mother that she and Blake had kissed.

“He’s leaving in three days. I found Dot at the supermarket.” Gwen looks down and takes a deep breath. “I know you’re sad and I am here if you want to talk about it.”

“He deserves this opportunity.”

“I know, but you’re still allowed to be sad about it.”

“I am, mum. But there is nothing I can do about it. It’s his choice.” Gwen stands up from the stool and paces the floor, “He deserves it so much and I am sure it will be good for him. He’s so excited.” There is a moment of silence in which Gwen looks around as her mother grabs something from the refrigerator. “I will miss him so much.” She holds a sniff but Patty recognizes the sad tone of her voice.

The older woman pulls her daughter to her chest. “I know, honey. I know.” She breaks down again; Gwen feels likes she wants to let her body fall down and collide with the floor but her mother’s arms keep her up.

“He’s the one,” Gwen takes a breath, “that is always there. He’s my own personal superhero.” She feels her mother’s hand running through her hair and then up and down her back, “And I love him mum. So much. And I can’t seem to tell him, because if I do, knowing that he is leaving, it’s gonna break me and I don’t...” She sucks in a breath but when she breathes out it comes out a sob and her arms tighten her hold on her mother who must be in pain from the tightness but she doesn’t complain once. “How come I’m just now seeing how amazing and just perfect for me he is? It’s not fair.”

“Hey hey, shh.” Her mother pulls away a little bit to wipe away the tears of her face. “Sometimes we don’t realize what we have until it goes away.” The door swings open to reveal a very cheerful looking Eric but his mother’s hand stops him. He walks backwards and closes the door again leaving the ladies alone. “You should tell him. Everything that you feel because if you don’t, one day you might regret it.”

“I don’t want to lose him, mum.”

“Then you have to make sure you don’t. I’m sure he feels the same way.”

 

They have breakfast in LA and jump off of the tallest rock on the lake in the morning. After helping him pack his things up they go to Harper’s and try out all the smoothies to end up singing their lungs out to every song on the radio late at night.

The next day Blake spends the morning with his mother and sister around town. They encounter Gwen and Patty and they all grab a burger. After stealing glances the whole meal and letting their shoes touch under the table, Blake offers to take Gwen to band practice but she shakes her head and tells him that she doesn’t have to go today.

When their mothers left she explains the reason why, “They’re not part of our little forever. There is just you and me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I thought we could maybe have that guitar class.”

He grins at her and then grabs her hand to run down the street to his car.

 

Around 7 o’clock Dorothy asks Gwen is she wants to stay for dinner and the young girl agrees. During the meal, she sits next to Blake and laughs at his and his stepfather’s jokes. The two go back and forth, they always have, but tonight Blake’s particularly funny. She leans against his side trying to catch her breath from his last joke and she gets lost in the moment. She feels his hand on her tight and that’s when all the alarms go off. She sits back and watches his family from the corner of her eyes. His mother is looking at them curiously as she holds her fork in the air, his sister’s grinning at them and Mike seems to be completely unaware of what is happening. After dinner the two teenagers make their way up the cabin where they just lay around and play a few songs on the music player and quietly sing along to some. He lets her head fall on his chest and her arms come around his waist. At one point he believes she has fallen asleep but then she breaks the comfortable silence.

“Only a few more hours.”

“I wish I could stop time.” Her head tilts up to meet his eyes. “I don’t want to go.”

She sits down crossed legged and takes his hands on hers, “Yes you do. You do, Blake. This is your dream.”

He stares up at her and then slowly starts to sit down in front of her, “I just don’t want to leave you.”

“We’re going to be okay.”

“I know. But...”

“Hey,” her hands come up to frame his face, “Stop.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can. Blake listen to me.” He closes his eyes and starts to tilt his head down but she keeps him from doing so. Her thumbs rub his cheeks and he involuntarily draws a soft smile on his face, “You deserve this. You’ve fought so hard for this. You got into the university you wanted in the city you wanted. You’ve worked your ass off to help pay stuff because you know how expensive everything is,” he nods, “and you deserve this. I won’t get tired of saying it. Just like you tell me that all that I accomplish with No Doubt is important, so is your future.”

“I hate that you are right.” She chuckles and moves to sit on his lap, her back to his chest.  “I’ll call you. I’ll write you and I will try to make it to as many No Doubt concerts as I can.” She beams and nuzzles her nose to his neck. “And don’t ever think that I’ll stop loving you.” She feels her heart skip a beat and a warm sensation run through her veins, “I just don’t want us to fall apart and end up hating each other because the distance is too much.”

“I know.”

 

The next day flies by because all he does is be with Gwen. They walk around town side by side, the have lunch at Gwen’s favourite Italian place and then go to the cinema. After the movie they walk back to his place where, as he had written in their wish lists, he makes dinner. They had the house all to themselves until late at night when Dorothy and Mike would be back from their excursion with their friends.

Together they set the table outside and Blake even lights up two candles which she loves because her face lights up. He has never really been much of a cooker but his noodles turn out to be nearly as good as the ones they normally get at the chinese down the street. He pulls out the chair for her and then pushes it forward again. He holds her hand for most of the dinner making them have to leave the fork aside when they’re thirsty and want a sip of beer.

“This is stupid.” She lets out a little laugh and then squeezes his hand.

“I like stupid.” He winks at her and sets his beer down. “You look very pretty, by the way.”

“Right, cos you let me go back home and change!” She says ironically. “I’m wearing shorts, a white shirt and your plaid because I got cold. Such a date worthy attire.”

“You always look beautiful. Is this a date?”

She chokes on her beer and then shyly looks up at him, “I uhm... well, I thought that-“ he leans over and pecks her lips softly.

“You’re adorable.” He whispers against her mouth. “I’ll have to give you all my plaid cos you look,” he wets his lips and lets his eyes wander her body, “wow.”

She leans in and kisses him then. She lets her fingertips softly trace his cheek and then fall on his shoulders and down his arms until he gets ahold of his hands and links their fingers together. “You look very handsome yourself.”

 

He washes the dishes, she puts the dishwasher and when she’s done helps him dry the dishes even though he tells her that there is no need to do that. He puts down the pan he had used and leaves the kitchen without saying a word. She’s about to follow him when she gets no explanation, but a soft music breaks the silence and her cheeks twitch up when he appears inside the kitchen again humming the song playing on the background. She turns her back to him and starts to swing her hips to the slow rhythm of the music. Blake leans against the counter and stares at her. It’s like his legs and brain are not connected anymore because as much as he tells them to not move, to stay away, he finds himself walking over to her and leaning down to press soft kisses down her neck as he pushes her hair aside. The pot she was drying slips off of her hands and Blake softly chuckles sucking on her skin a little bit, which causes her mouth to let out a soft moan that also has her knees buckling and her back to collide against his welcoming chest. She breathes out and her head falls against his shoulder tilting it to the right to give him better access to her neck. He tucks on her sides and helps her turn around to face him, to tenderly kiss her cheek and trace a path of wet kisses to her open and ready for him mouth. It goes from sweet to playfully and to filthy in matter of seconds and they both have to pull away in need of air. Her forehead lands against his chin and she can feel him steady his breath against her skin. Her hands wrap around his middle as the lower parts of their bodies collide making Blake suck in a breath.

“Gwen,” He breathes out almost inaudible when she gets on her tiptoes and starts to trace a path of kisses to his ear where she takes his earlobe in between her teeth and softly bites. “Oh my god.”

“Shh.” She says softly and then goes back to attacking his lips which he responds to gratefully. He flips them over to have her pressed against the counter to then push her up and sit her on in to step between her legs. The feeling of her tongue battling around with his has him on cloud nine and almost unaware that she has slipped her freezing hands under his blue shirt. He jumps on his feet at the contact of her cold hands to his warm skin, “Sorry.” She apologizes jumping off the counter and moving away from him.

“No, no don’t.” He reaches for her hand as she was starting to walk away from him. He tugs on in and she takes a step towards him as she keeps her head down too embarrassed to look up. “You’re cold, that’s all.” He says hoping to make her laugh but she doesn’t and she also continues to look down. “Hey, it’s true. They’re cold, maybe I should get you a sweater.” She nods shyly. “Come on, let’s go see if I have any unpacked.”

They climb up the stairs to his bedroom where there are more boxes than posters hanging on the wall and that means a lot of boxes since he has posters of every country artist to ever exist.

He lets go of her hand for a moment and she takes a minute to look around. Everything that is his is in this room, and to think that tomorrow night he will not be sleeping here it makes her sad. They have shared a million memories inside this four walls. Tears and laughs; games, also homework but mostly a lot of music. His music player is inside a box somewhere which makes it impossible for her to put the radio on, so she continues to look around until her eyes fall on a photo on his bedside table. She walks up to it and picks it up to find both of them in their prom attire smiling back at her. With her fingertips she traces them and then puts the picture down again as she sits on the bed and continues to look at it but from the distance.

“I love this picture.” The mattress sinks a little bit which announces that he has taken a seat next to her.

“Me too.”

“Thank you for the copy.”

She looks at him and draws a little smile on her face, “You’re welcome.” Her eyes fall from his to the jumper on his lap.

“Here.” He hands it to her and she takes it but puts it aside, “Not cold anymore?” She shakes her head.

Silence takes over the room as he gulps and looks around trying to break the ice and say something genius but only comes up with something stupid, “We could watch a movie.” Gwen shakes her head and looks up to meet his gaze. He waits for her to say something but she doesn’t make the move to open her mouth, “Maybe play the guit-” She crashes her lips to his making him lean back a little bit at the sudden and unexpected move.

“These have been the best three days of my life.” Her unsure voice breaks the silence as she talks against his mouth and he leans to kiss her again. In between kisses, he stands up and takes her with him to make it easier to continue their craft. Her hands slip under his shirt again but he doesn’t jump this time, instead he melts to her touch an braves up to do the same. The feeling of her skin under his fingertips tops every feeling she has caused him so far, it’s so soft and appealing, so warm and welcoming that not only his palms wanna touch every single part of it but also his lips. Not thinking about it twice, he slips his hands from under the shirt and brings them up to the collar of his plaid on her to push it down her arms. She stops kissing him for a brief moment as her eyes shot open and she bites her lower lip nervously.

“Now we’re wearing the same number of clothes.” He teases, “I was feeling a little in disadvantage.” She chuckles and softly hits his chest. “You wanna watch that movie?” She nods but then closes the distance again claiming his mouth in a hungry kiss that has Blake taking two steps forward and softly backing her up against the wall. He slips one of his legs in between her and pushes forward making Gwen gasp out his name and tighten the hold on him. Her hands come up to dishevel his hair as he slips his tongue inside her mouth and his hands under her shirt once again.

“We could also bake.” She reaches for the ends of his blue shirt and pulls it over his head letting it fall to the floor. Blake looks down to his piece of clothing, gulps and wets his lips.

_Whoa, okay._

“I think baking sounds like a good idea.” His lips land on her jaw where they create a trail to her chest where he stops abruptly and steps away, “We gotta stop.” He moves on his feet uncomfortably and tears his eyes away from hers when he turns around to walk to the window. He says no more but neither does she. Instead she moves closer to him and wraps her arms around his naked waist and rests against him to look at the dark outside.

“I’ve never done this before.” Her soft voice echoes in his head which turns to the right to leave a soft press of his lips to her forehead. “And I know you haven’t either because I’m your friend and it’s my job to know these things.” He lets out a little laugh against her skin which causes her to get on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

“I’m just so nervous.”

“I felt your hands shaking.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He turns to look at her and puts his hands on her neck, “I just…”

“We don’t have to.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to do you know... I just don’t want to…” He looks away, “Disappoint you.”

“How could you disappoint me if we have never done it before?” They both let out a nervous laugh. “I can’t think of anyone better than you.” She brushes the curls on his forehead away and then stares at him lovingly. “You make me feel so… loved.”

“So do you.” He leans down to brush his nose to hers, “I don’t want to screw anything up.”

“Let’s go slow okay?” He nods. Her hands frame his face to bring his gaze to hers again, “Look at me. Don’t look away.” He nods.

She brings her hands down to intertwine them with his and then bring them to the edge of her shirt where she nods at him when with just a look he asks if he can take it off. Slowly he slides it off and when he sees her shirtless and with a black bra his hands freeze on his sides. In a matter of seconds, he breathes in loudly and starts to trace lines on her skin as his hands move up to her upper back, not touching her bra for now. She lets him explore, his lips land on her collarbone where he sucks on her skin and even bites a little making Gwen’s arms come around him to hold on to something as she melts to his smooth and gentle touch. Missing the feeling of his lips on hers, Gwen steps in her tiptoes to bring their mouths together again as she walks them backwards to end up falling on the mattress when the back of his knees touch the surface. He full on laughs as she cuddles up to his side and sinks her nose into his welcoming neck.

“Are you okay?” He asks when he flips them over for him to be on top.

“I’m okay.”

“Will you tell me if I hurt you?” He asks moving aside the few strands of hair on her face.

“I will. Just…”

“Slow, I know.” He nods and then leans down to press his grinning mouth to hers.

Before he knows it, she’s sliding his pants off and playfully sitting on top of his erection as he looks at her like she were an art piece. His hands stay on his sides as he tries to control everything that he is feeling and not turn into a caveman moved by instincts. He doesn’t want to freak her out or go too hard on her so he takes a deep breath and then sits up, making her centre land completely on his. His hands caress every bit of her back and then he bravely unhooks her bra. She rapidly covers her breasts but Blake shakes his head.

“I’ve got boobs also.” Her face breaks out into a big smile that has her laughing and tilting her head back. “You’re so gorgeous, Gwen.” Trusting him completely, she uncovers herself as he keeps his eyes on hers the whole time she does so.

 

Completely naked and undercovers they sloppily kiss for what feel like an eternity before his hand reaches down to her centre making her gasp out his name. He grins at her, “Is this okay?”

She doesn’t know how she does it but a quiet _yes_ escapes her lips as her arms hug him close and she spreads her legs open when he begins to rub her clit.

“Bla- oh god!”

“You look so fucking beautiful right now.” He leans down to kiss her belly button as his free hand traces a trail from her neck, going over her breasts and down her stomach to her entrance where he slips in a finger, “Gwe-” He closes his eyes and slides in a second finger that has him sucking in a breath when her walls close around his fingers and she moans out in pleasure. “Open your eyes.” She feels his breath on her mouth so she does as asked and he leans down to softly kiss her again. “You’re so incredible.”

“You-” She moans when he increases the rhythm, “Blake, oh god.”  He stops when he hears the pain in her voice but she shakes her head, “Don’t stop.”

“Sure?”

“Very.” She takes in a deep breath and finds his eyes in the dark. “Thank you.”

“For what?” He asks retrieving his fingers from inside of her.

“Our little infinity.”

 

He aligns himself to her entrance and ever so softly, and after her nod of approval, enters her. Screw the touch of his fingertips on her skin. This tops everything he has ever felt. He watches her mouth open and a soft moan escape her lips followed from one form him that has him almost sliding off of her. Her hands on his lower back stop him from doing so.

“Blake,” She breathes out.

“Yes darlin’?” She giggles at the pet name and then leans up to meet his lips in an ever so soft kiss that has her seeing stars as he also takes the moment to fully enter her. “Okay?” He asks nearly out of breath. She nods, “Tell me if…” She shushes him with her mouth and he takes it as an okay. He starts to move in and out rhythmically. He loses count on how many times he moans out her name or how many times he has tasted her lips, but both are something he could never get tired of. She comes undone in his arms as she screams out his name and he comes a few seconds later unable to voice anything. He can just close his eyes and groan.

He falls on his back, afraid that his arms would eventually give up and crush her, but as soon as he is on the mattress, she’s on him. Her arms coming around his body to hug herself closer to him.

“That was the best freakin’ moment of my life.” He says trying to get his breathing back to normal. She giggles against his chest and then leaves a few soft pecks on his warm skin. “Whoa.” He runs a hand through his curls and then looks down at her. “Are-”

“If you ask me if I am okay one more time I’ll roast you, Shelton.” Blake raises his eyebrows at her but then bursts out laughing and she joins in. When their laughing battle dies, she comes up to his eye level and leans in to press her mouth to his once again, “That was incredible.”

“You think so?” Blake asks turning serious.

“Well, it felt good so I am guessing we’re not so bad after all.” The way his eyes close and his dimples pop out on his grinning face has her falling for him over and over again. And she has to tell him, she has to or she will regret it. “Blake?” Her hand on his cheek makes him open his eyes to meet hers, “I’m not so hypothetically in love with you too.”

 

 

He’s woken up by the sound of an incoming call. Sleepily he finds his brand new Motorola flip phone and without checking the caller he answers.

“Blake?”

“Uhm.” He replies.

“Dude, I have Tim McGraw here demanding to talk to you.” He jumps off the bed and shakes his head.

“Wha- what?”

“He wants to talk to you about writing a song for him.”

“Wha- what?” He asks again pinching himself.

“Dude wake the hell up, the king of country is asking for you because he has been told that you are the best songwriter in town.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

He closes the phone and takes a look around. His laptop is laying on the bed, right where he had fallen asleep.  Even if he doesn’t remember doing so, he had at least put the guitar down on the stand next to the bed before he had fallen asleep.

He gets dressed in record time and then hops on his truck and drives to the studio where he had started working as a junior songwriter the first year of university. By the third year of university and up until now, almost five years after he had graduated, he had been a full time songwriter.

“And a pretty good one if Tim freaking McGraw is asking for me.” Blake makes sure his plaid shirt is buttoned up right and then runs a hand through his curls before he opens the door of his boss office and comes face to face with none other than Tim McGraw.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...... THOUGHTS??
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and leaving a comment. I'm so happy you're enjoying this.


	6. See you soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so so so much for all the love towards this fic. I was so scared the teenage AU thing wouldn't be liked but boy was I wrong hahah
> 
> Thank you, really! <3
> 
> PS: This picks up with teen post sex shefani! HAHAHAH :)
> 
> PS2: I know the years don’t add up with No Doubt’s chronology but I had to make it work so they were both 18 in 1994 :)

**1994**

“I love you too.” He stares down at her right after she had expressed her love for him seconds before.  

“I think I’ve loved you for a while.” She presses her lips together and lays back down beside him. Blake takes a moment to himself but then pulls away to prop himself up on one shoulder to be able to properly look at her.

“I’ve always loved you.”

“Is this a competition?” She teases with a grin playing on her lips.

“No.” He shakes his head and chuckles. “I’ve loved you as a friend, as my best friend and as-“ he stops and panics because he doesn’t know how to continue. She’s still her best friend but what they just did calls out for a little more than that.

He watches as her mouth forms a little O and how her hand reaches up to caress her face, “Your little forever.” She finishes the sentence for him.

“My biggest forever.” Blake nods and then leans down to peck her mouth, “we may have only had three days of _this_  but you and me are forever. In whatever form you’ll have me.” Even if the tone of his voice is still gentle and sweet the look on his face says otherwise. It’s serious and true; like someone that wants to be heard and trusted. Someone who is not just speaking to make the other feel okay, but someone who is telling the truth and opening their heart.

“You’re so amazing.” Gwen beams and leaps on him making his back crash on top of the mattress as she lands on top of him playfully leaning down to kiss his welcoming mouth. When her tongue enters his mouth Blake forgets about everything and kisses her back with the same intensity.

“ _You_ are so amazing.” He breathes out against her cheek and then softly kisses it making Gwen sigh and close her eyes.

“You never got to play _I wanna know what love is_ the other day.”

“Want me to play it now?” He asks drawing a big smile on his face when she nods, “Okay, but we should probably get dressed in case my mother comes back.”

“Oh my god!” Gwen covers her mouth as she lets out a nervous laugh, “Shit, Blake! I had forgotten about them.”

He giggles and then leans down to kiss the hand covering her face, “No need to panic. It’s just ten now. They’re supposed to be here in an hour or so.”

“Oh my god.” Gwen lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding and then sits on the bed, her back resting against the headboard. She takes all the sheets to cover herself so when Blake’s swings his legs out of the bed and reaches for them to cover him, he has to turn his head to see that she has her hold on them. His first reaction is to reach for the shirt on the floor to cover his man parts as Gwen laughs at him and he blushes up.

“You know,” he moves slightly to the right to meet her gaze, “I don’t know why we’re making such a big deal out of this. I’ve seen you naked, you’ve seen me naked.” Even though a chuckle does escape her mouth, Gwen nods when she starts to realize how right he is. Still seated, they stare at each other as Gwen plays with her hands on her lap and Blake bites down his lower lip.

“It’s weird.” She says letting out a little nervous laugh.

“A bit, isn’t it?” Blake moves forward and nuzzles his nose against hers. “Gwen?” He pulls away and meets her eyes. “You’re really really pretty. Like all of you is pretty.”

A smile grows on her features as her cheeks burn up and she brings the covers up to her face to hide her embarrassment. His hands come all the way up to where she is holding the sheet over her face and covers them. “Hey,” he begins softly but gets cut by her voice.

“I’m not _that_ pretty.”

He shakes his head, “Yes you are.” Her hands begin to give up as she starts to pull the covers down to her chest. The minute her face is uncovered he leans forward to peck her lips in a kiss that catches her completely off guard. His mouth opens against hers and his tongue slips inside making her groan and having one of her hands come up to his neck where he presses him to her and deepens on the kiss. When they pull away Blake reaches out to grab the nearest piece of clothing he finds which is her bra. He opens it for her and she shyly lets the covers fall and her naked chest appear. “You can trust me.”

“I trust you with all of me.”

He giggles showing his dimples at her. “You put it on cos I don’t know how it works.” He says when he lets the straps land on her shoulders. Without taking her eyes off him, Gwen expertly hooks her bra and then takes the covers off of her completely.

“Stand up?” She asks him which he nods to but stays seated. “Who is the shy one now?” Gwen teases biting down her lower lip.

“Alright, alright.” The teenage boy stands up and debates whether to cover himself or not. At the end he decides to keep his hands on his sides as a shy grin plays on his face. “Boxers.” He turns around to look for them but comes up empty. He spins on his feet looking around and when his eyes land on Gwen again he finds her with his boxers on her hand waving them in the air. “Aha, you’re playing sneaky now!” He leans over to her and puts a strand of hair behind her ears as he reaches for his underwear with his other hand.

 

He finds his jeans and her shorts next to each other on the floor and hands them to her followed by her shirt which is by the bedside table alongside his plaid which he picks up and puts it on her. “Keep it.”

“No, Blake this is your favourite.”

“That’s why I want you to have it.” His hands land on her hips where he tugs a little to bring her closer to him as a bright smile appears on her face.

“Are you sure?” He nods and Gwen reaches to pull the collar up to her nose where she breathes in, “It smells like you.”

 

He gets the guitar and both of them sit on the unmade bed where he begins to play _I wanna know what love is._ When the soft instrumental music of his guitar starts Gwen falls completely into it. She has always loved how easy he made it look. He just placed his fingertips along the instrument and beautiful music came out of it. That, alongside his voice was like heaven to her. He has such a beautiful tone. Deep, kinda raspy even and with a little bit of sweetness.

From beginning to end, they lock eyes even though Blake messes the chords for a brief moment that has both of them chuckling and him stopping and starting again where he left off.

She ends up sniffing a little and all he can do is put his guitar aside and hug her close to his body as he caresses her hair and whispers sweet nothings in her ear.

“Do you know what love is?” She asks pulling away from his chest to look up at him.

He thinks about it for a moment and then nods, “Look, we may not be experts on love because after all we’re eighteen and seventeen and you’re my first love,” she nods, “But if love is all of this I am feeling when I’m next to you, then yes, I know what it is.”

“You know how they say that the first love is unforgettable?” His cheeks twitch up as he nods, “Regardless if it breaks your heart or makes you the happiest you’ve ever been.”

“I don’t want to break your heart. I don’t want to.” He says twice to remark his statement. Gwen shakes her head and frames his face with her hands.

“Let’s not think about this now.”

“Will you call me when you’re sad? Please Gwen. I’ll ask for my uncle’s house phone and,” he runs a hand through his curls and lets out a loud sigh, “Please, just please call me. I’ll stop the tears, I promise.” When she sees his watery eyes, she looses it and breaks down letting her hands on his shoulders fall on her lap as they shake a little bit. She tries to control it by rubbing her palms together. “Hey, breath. There you go, in and out.” Her eyes shot up to meet his as he tries to pull of a forced dimpled smile that he knows will make her feel better.

“I’ll call you everyday and you’ll grow tired of me.”

“Never. We’re going from seeing each other every day to not seeing each other. I’ll need to hear your voice.” His right hand comes up to her face to wipe the tear running down her cheek, “I thought we weren’t going to cry when saying goodbye.”

She chuckles as another tear runs free on her skin, “And you said you were going to sob. Like a baby.”

The softest smile appears on his face as he leans forward to kiss her watery cheek, “I’m trying to hold it together but I don’t know how long I can keep the walls up.”

“You don’t have to be all tough and macho for me.”

“I know darlin’, I know.” He takes a deep breath in and then closes his eyes letting his head fall on her shoulder. He breathes out and is about to just pull away and maybe change the subject to bring happy thoughts, when he feels her nails on his scalp and then her fingers playing with the short hairs on the nape of his neck. He sniffs and just loses it. He holds onto her as if life depended on it. His arms come up and around her as he lets the tears run free down his cheeks to fall on his plaid on her.

She tries her best to calm him down, whispering sweet nothings in his ears and running a hand through his hair. “Blake, breath.” She says when he hears him cough trying to catch his breath. “Look at me.” Her hands come to his cheeks where she waits for him to open his eyes, “I like the blue eyes and it breaks me to see them sad and lightless."

He takes a minute to compose himself but then lifts his head again and grins at her, "I have an idea." He checks the time and presses his lips together, "Okay so my mum and Mike are supposed to arrive in thirty minutes."

"We need to open the window, this room smells like sex." He doesn't know if he laughs at the unexpected statement or at the mixture of teasing and innocence on her face. He laughs, he tilts his head back and his back falls on the mattress and he takes her with him, her back falling on his chest as his arms wrap around her middle.

"Tell me Gwen," he says between laughs, "how does sex smell like?" She giggles sinking her face in his neck not replying to his question. "You are right though, we better open the window and I better sink the condom way down the bin because if she finds it I'm never hearing the end of it and she won't let me leave for Nashville all alone." He explains as he sits both of them up, letting their legs fall over the edge of the mattress. She sits on his lap with one of her hands on his neck and her back pressed against his chest as his arms stay wrapped around her middle.

"Maybe you should just leave it laying around so she'll make you stay." She says quietly, keeping her eyes on the boxes at the other side of the room. He looks as her head lowers and the hand on his neck falls to her lap. Meanwhile he debates on what to say and what to do. He closes his eyes and wets his lips biting down his lower one in the process. One of his hands around her come all the way up to his face where he touches his face as he exhales. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. We've already talked about it."

"I've thought about maybe giving the long distance relationship thing a shot." His hand on her chin makes their gazes meet, "But I don't want to mess anything up. I know how hard it will be to not see each other, imagine if we date like for real. Nashville is two thousand miles away, a day away driving. It's not like we can drive to each other when it pleases us."

"I know."

"The miles is the only reason I haven't asked you to have a long distance relationship because I know how those end up and I don't want us to end up hating each other. I wouldn't be able to live in a world in which you hate me and I hate you." As he talks, Gwen stands up for a moment but then squats down in front of him, her arms landing on his thighs to balance herself. "I don't want to end up writing break-up songs in which you are the she I talk about."

"All I ever want to write about you are happy love songs." She admits bringing her hand up to his neck, "I'll just miss you so much."

"Me too darlin'." He leans down to press his lips to her hair, "I'll come back home for Christmas and long weekends. I promise you this much. And we'll take over town again, we'll jump from the rocks on the lake and try out all the smoothies from Harper's again."

She smiles up at him and even lets out a little giggle, "What if we fall in love with other people?" That's the question he was trying to avoid but here it is now and he can't back down or run away from it as she stares up at him with her mouth slightly open and waiting for an answer.

"That's fine," he fakes a side smile, "I just want you to be happy and if some other lucky guy gets to do that instead of me, then..." He stops and exhales, "You are free to love whoever you want."

"I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as I love you." He stares down at her and the only thing he can do is slide down the side of the mattress to sit on the floor and take her in his arms. He doesn't care that he is uncomfortable, holding her is everything that feels right, right about now and that's all he can do.

"I'll wait for you. I promise, Gwen. I..." He stops when he feels a tear wet his cheek, "Maybe it will take us ten, fifteen or more years, but I promise baby, I'll wait for you. I know I will always find my way back to you." He inhales trying to hold the other tears he knows are starting to crowd in his watery eyes. His lips shake and his arms around her waist hug her even closer when she breaks the silence with a sob that has her head falling on his chest.

"They could make a movie out of us." She whispers. Blake smiles against her hair as his lips land on her head, "But only if we find each other again a few years later and fall in love all over again."

"We won't need to fall all over again, because with you there is no end. I'm never not going to love you." She leans away to meet his gaze. When she does and she sees the small dimpled beam on his face, her cheeks twitch up and she blushes a little. "Now, we better open that window and I'm going to explain what genius idea I had."

 

When they hear the keys and then the door open they put the plan into action. As they have done a few times before, Gwen takes his bed and Blake lays on the floor. They'd normally grab the air mattress but it's somewhere on his packed stuff since he is going to need it until he buys a mattress in Nashville. He closes his eyes and so does Gwen, who turns to the wall in case her face breaks into a nervous smile and Blake's mum catches them. The bedroom door swings open but they both keep their eyes closed and stay frozen.

Dot stares at the scene and she smiles. "Mike," she gets his attention and the man walks up to Blake's room to see that there is Gwen on the bed and his stepson on the floor. "What should we do?"

The man turns to Dorothy and smiles, "Call her parents and tell her she's staying over."

At first Dot doesn't say anything, but then she nods, "Yeah. We don't want to wake her up." Gwen draws a smile on her face as Blake tries to hold a poker face. The door closes again and both of them wait a few seconds to turn around to look at each other.

"Good job Watson." Blake whispers.

"Hey! What makes you think you are Sherlock?!" She teases looking down at him. Blake lifts her eyebrows at her and purses his lips. When her face breaks down into a big smile he releases a bath he didn't know he had been holding and leans up to peck her lips.

"You're Wonder Woman." He kisses her again and then lets his head fall on the side of the mattress to stare at her as she continues to be propped up on one elbow. The silence they keep makes it possible to hear Dot's voice as she speaks on the phone with Gwen's mother at the other side of the door.

"Yeah, well he's on the floor and she's on his bed." She explains making the two teenagers giggle, "His guitar is out of the case and his notebook is opened on the floor so I am guessing they were just writing and playing songs like they usually do." Blake wets his lips and runs to cover her mouth  when he sees that she's holding a laugh that ends up dying against his hand.

"Shhh." He says.

They continue to listen to Dot in silence, "Yeah okay. Sure no problem. Blake has to wake up at five either way because him and Mike are leaving bright and early." Gwen checks the time to see it's nearly twelve o'clock. Mike was driving him to Nashville with his truck since Blake's bat-mobile wasn't capable of driving so many miles.

When his mother hangs up, she peeks one last look at the bedroom and thinks about entering the room or not. Before she goes in, she opens the closet on the corridor to grab a thin blanket to cover Blake since he was just wearing shorts and a t-shirt. She squats down next to her boy and covers him up before leaning down to press her lips to his forehead. "If there is anything in this world that I've done right, is raise a good little man. I'm so proud of you." Blake holds the urge to open his eyes and tell his mother that there is so much more she has done right but he doesn’t. Instead he keeps his poker face on as Dot stands up and leaves the room keeping the door open.  

  
  


The next morning, he lets her sleep while he dresses up and then grabs a little bit of breakfast. His mother is in the kitchen with him and he knows she has questions but she never voices them, instead she points out his gentleman act by letting her sleep on his bed.

“It’s the least I could do.” He tells her before finishing his coffee and walking back up to start putting things inside the truck. When the truck is packed he climbs the steps and enters his room quietly to see that Gwen’s still asleep. Slowly, he sits down on the mattress and leans down to press his lips to her cheek making her begin to stir. Seeing the smile appear on his face, he leans in again and pecks her lips this time.

“Hi pretty girl.” He pulls off a dimpled smile when she opens her big brown eyes.

“‘Time’s it?” She mumbles running a hand through her hair and sitting up against the headboard.

“Nearly seven.”

“You have to go.” It’s not a question. She looks down and then up again to meet his sad eyes. “We should go outside, huh?” He nods and then helps her to stand up. They stare at each other for what feels like forever in which she presses her lips together and he wets his. They don’t know who leans in first but suddenly he is kissing her, or she is kissing him and the world stops. The door is fully open but they don’t care at this point. His hand travels all the way to her cheek to softly rub his thumb over her skin as her hands on his sides pull him as close as he can get. His free hand bravely cups her ass as she grinds against him making Blake moan at the contact and his mouth to open as her tongue slips inside and takes control on the kiss.

“I love you.” He says against the skin on her neck, “I love you so much.”

“I love you.” She says tilting her head to the right to give him better access to her neck.

Hearing someone walk up the stairs makes both of them jump apart immediately. “Blake?” Mike’s voice breaks the silence.

“In here.” He says running a hand through his hair. “I’m ready. We’re ready.” He says when the older man appears on the door.

“Alright, son. Your mother and I are outside and she’s crying.” He explains, “I just thought I’d let you know.”

Blake covers his face and turns to Gwen, who squeezes his shoulder amicably and then encourages him to walk down the stairs. Gwen goes first and gives him a moment to look around his room and thank God he does so because he takes two big steps and grabs the framed photo of him and Gwen from his bedside table.

When he gets down and outside the porch, his mother crashes onto him and he lets her cry as his hands come up around her. “Mum, shh. It’s going to be okay.”

“I know. I just… you grew up so fast.” Blake leans away and looks down to meet his mother’s eyes.

“Hey,” He places one hand on her cheek, “I’m always going to be your baby.” The two ladies chuckle at his words and Dot nods.

“Be safe okay and call me. I love you honey, I’m so proud of you.”

“I will mum, I promise.”

 

Mike starts to make his way to the car not before kissing Dorothy goodbye. The younger pair stay side by side on the porch not really knowing what to do. Dot steps aside and but stays on the porch and Blake takes the moment to reach for Gwen’s hand and hold it in his. His head turns to her and she watches her raise her eyebrows at him as a shy smile appears on her lips. Together, they walk down the stairs and to the passenger’s side where they stop. He takes a deep breath and runs his free hand through his curls. From the corner of his eyes he sees his mother watching them and then he also sees Mike, who is playing with the radio. He chuckles.

“I don’t know what to say to be honest.” Gwen begins. “I’ll miss you so much.”

His thumb begins to rub her hand, “I will miss you too, Gwen.” He brings their intertwined hands to his lips and leaves a soft peck on hers. “I just… Be happy okay?” As much as it pains him, his cheeks twitch up.

“I don’t know how to, Blake.” Her voice breaks and his hands immediately reach up to her cheeks where he wipes away the two tears running down her cheeks.

“Hey, look at me.” She keeps her eyes closed, “Please.” He begs, “I need to see your pretty eyes.” Slowly she opens her eyelids and he leans to touch his nose to hers, “There you go.”

“Thank you for- well everything really, and most importantly last night.” She explains trying not to sob.

“Thank _you._ You saved my life in so many ways.” He admits bringing one of his hands to the back of her neck. “Forever, Gwen. I don’t care if it takes us two, ten or twenty years… I’ll wait for you, I promise. You’re it.” She breaks down, her head falls on his shoulder and he cradles her to him trying to calm her down. “Take over the world. Win that Grammy. There is no…” He lets her finish the sentence which she does.

“Stopping me.” She mumbles against his white shirt.

“No stopping you, that is right.” He pulls away drawing a soft smile on his face that also appears on hers. “Yeah!” He cheers, “There’s the smile I love.”

“You can also take over the world, you know.”

“I’ll start with Nashville first.” He grins at her, “I really have to go now or Mike’s going to make us jump on our feet if he horns.” She tilts her head laughing.

“Okay.” She crashes against him as her arms wrap around his body and her head falls on his shoulder. The tears run free down their cheeks and when they pull away Blake lets out a nervous laugh accompanied by a little sob. She wipes away the rebel tears running free down his cheek and then gets on her tiptoes to press her lips on his puffy cheek. He holds his breath. His right hand caresses her back and his left comes up to her neck where, when she pulls away, he just stares at her debating where he should kiss her or not.

“See you soon, Gwen.” He tries to pull off a dimpled smile which he knows would make her feel better.

“See you soon.” She nods pressing her lips together. Their hands fall on their sides and she reaches for his one last time to intertwine their fingers together and squeeze them one last time.

“I love you. Never forget that.” He says before he turns around and opens the door of the car. With one tug on his hand Blake is back in front of her and letting go of one of her hands to press it against the car to steady himself when she leans over and kisses him. At first he panics but then he just gives in. If there is any damage it’s already been done. He might as well enjoy it. Keeping it very PG-13 his lips hover over hers ever so sweetly and both end up smiling into the kiss.

“I love you too.” Gwen whispers one last time, “Now go. I’ll talk to your mum.” Blake takes one look at his mother who has her hands linked together in front of her mouth but is smiling behind them.

He leans down to kiss her one last time. He throws his mother an air kiss which she pretends to catch and then does the same to Gwen and also winks at her.

  
  
  


**1997**

He had stopped coming home regularly and she had stopped calling. There really hadn’t been a reason why, they just grew apart. He had found a steady part-time job and she had started to tour the state of California with No Doubt. Learning about her relationship with Tony through his mother had been hard on him and he had voiced that to her one night when he came back for Christmas break. He had been open and honest about this new girl he had met and how he was thinking about asking her out. It had hurt her, but seeing that she had Tony she couldn’t really say no to him finding happiness.

She had met Helen twice. She was sweet and very much like him. Same music taste and same southern accent. She had wanted to hate her but there was no reason to do do other than Helen being the one making him happy and not her. She had asked Tony to try be friends with Blake but the bassist had made no move to do so as much as Blake had tried to keep it classy between both of them.

  


**1998**

Gwen wakes up in a hotel room in God knows what city. She has lost count of how many concerts they have played on their brand new tour but she knows there are only a few left and she will be finally able to go back home and do nothing but sleep and chill all day. Christmas is also approaching and there is nothing in this world she loves more than Christmas season.

All that she knows is that there is no concert tonight so she gets to hang around in her hotel room and maybe hit the gym and the swimming pool later. She gets a call from the band’s manager who reminds her that they are in Chicago and that they have the night off today. He also tells Gwen that they will have to start working on new music soon and get a record out. She agrees but as soon as she hangs up she falls back on the mattress and lets the tears run free. She doesn’t know if she can keep going like this anymore. Her and Tony are in that point in a relationship in which they don’t really talk or share things. He goes out whenever it pleases him and calls her when he has nothing better to do. Sneaking around had been fun. Hiding from their band members had something prohibited to it that she had grown to love, but now that they were out in the open Tony had started to pull away and even if she tried and tried she didn’t have to strength to fight for someone who didn’t want to be fought for anymore. They had taken a break when the tour had started but one drunken night they got carried away and had woken up in her hotel room with their clothes scattered on the floor. He had told her it hadn’t meant a thing and that they were still on a break. She wasn’t that kind of person, she didn’t want to be used or feel used so she had put an end to it.

It had been two weeks since that day, and even though she still had to see him every day, she didn’t feel claustrophobic anymore. She felt better and if she felt better, concerts were more fun which is everything she needed to do, be an entertainer and make people happy. Tony had been throwing his freedom as a single man to her face whenever he could. He approached fans and even invited some over to their after parties, which had hurt at first, she’d admit this much. Now? Now she has realized that she is better off without him, even if it will take a bit to heal her shattered heart.

  


After christmas the band had gotten together to begin their third album. A lot of the songs they had been written had a lot of to do with the couple’s break up. Writing the lyrics had hurt and then singing them over and over again when recording had hurt even more. To the point in which Gwen had thought about giving up.

She had moved back to her parent’s place for a few days when she found a break between recording sessions and had found time to open all the closed boxes inside the big closet in her room. She had found cassettes, old dresses, games and random song lyrics with her and Blake’s writing. But what really made her crawl into a ball and fall apart had been his plaid. His favourite one.

She hadn’t seen him in two years. They had called each other for Christmas and each other’s birthdays but nothing much other than that. During the summer and winter break, he had toured as band leader with a new country artist she had forgotten the name of and he had also gotten the opportunity to travel to Europe and Australia. That’s the last thing she knew about him.

She puts on the plaid and hugs herself. She knows it doesn’t smell like him anymore so instead she imagines his scent, something she has never forgotten about.

  


**1999**

It’s his first year out of university. Waking up and not having to go to class is weird. Not having to set up an alarm is even weirder. He feels like a total grown up now and not just because he can open a cold one and drink it legally. He had found a part time job in a musical bar where he could sing from time to time, and in the mornings, and ever since his second year at university he goes to a little recording studio where he gets to write songs for other artists. Some are just guys a little older than him and with a few fans. But one has to start from the ground to touch the sky, he is positive he’ll reach the sky one day. It will just take some time.

He was single again since Helen had decided to curse a master’s degree in London and as much as if had hurt he had encouraged her to fight for her dream and become a correspondent journalist. His heart didn’t hurt as much as when he had left Gwen, not even close, but he still felt a little bit lonely from time to time.

Driving to work, he puts on a generic radio and lets the music take over him. He doesn’t recognize most of the songs but when he stops at a red light he feels the world stop. A voice he recognizes breaks his thoughts and has him completely getting lost in the lyrics.

“Gwen.” He breathes letting his hands fall of the steering wheel and onto his lap.

 

_Don't speak_

_I know just what you're saying_

_So please stop explaining_

_Don't tell me 'cause it hurts_

 

He has to park at one side of the road when the cars behind him start pressing the horn at him to move forward when the light turns green. The pain in her voice is palpable and it’s breaking him. The pure honesty in the lyrics is shattering him into pieces and has a tear escaping his eye when he closes them and tilts his head back to lean it against the backrest.

The radio host explains the meaning behind the lyrics and Tony’s and Gwen’s break up. When he gets to the studio he learns about No Doubt’s new record. He blames himself for not calling her for almost six months, he wants to crawl into a ball and cry until he falls asleep for forgetting about her. Something he said he’d do. He had let her down.

 

He thinks about calling her but decides not to. Instead he looks for Graham, one of his songwriter buddies, a rocker guy that calls himself “ No Doubt’s biggest fan”. Blake hasn’t voiced that he knows them or that he is (or was) Gwen Stefani’s best friend.

“Hey buddy.” He greets the Graham.

“What’s up, Blake?”

“Do you know if No Doubt are touring this time of the year?” He lets out a little laugh when he sees his friend’s eyes widen and his cheeks twitch up in excitement.

“They are.” He says bouncing on his feet, “They’re actually doing a concert in Nashville in two weeks.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Want to go?” Blake asks Graham whose eyes grow even wider.

“Are you kidding me? Of course I want to.”

“Alright, alright. I see you’re not excited, huh?” Blake teases him.

“Since when are you a No Doubt fan?” Graham asks.

 _Oh, if you knew!_ Blake says to himself. “I just heard their new single on the radio and they sound really good. Also, she’s really really pretty, huh?” Graham nods.

“Gwen Stefani man. Wow!”

“I’ll ask if the studio would be able to get special tickets or I’ll just buy them myself.”

“Alright, Blake. I can’t wait.” Graham pats his back and leaves the room where they take coffee breaks.

The next day he meets up with his boss, a very welcoming guy that is only a little older than him. He doesn’t really know how he does it but he ends up getting VIP and backstage passes for the concert.

“Oh yeah I have two but their music is not really my cup of tea.” Derek explains. “Would you like to have them?”

“Well… I thought I could maybe go. I’m not really a fan of ska music either but their lyrics are so good.” He explains sitting on the chair before his boss. “Maybe I’ll find inspiration.”

“Yeah sure. Thank God you came in the morning cos I was going to give them back after lunch.”

Blake holds his breath, “Thank you so much, Derek. I’ll take Graham with me.”

“Have fun boys.”

 

Two weeks later Blake finds himself driving to the venue. He feels the nerves start to creep up and his hands start to sweat. He hums to a country song on the radio and then turns to look at Graham who has a No Doubt shirt on.

“Dude, you’re going to be the only hunk in plaid and boots. This is a ska-rock concert, you ignorant!” Graham mocks him.

“Who knows, maybe I’ll get Gwen Stefani’s attention dressed like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh oh! 
> 
> Hope you liked it :)


	7. Can't have you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to add it but, when Blake wakes up and Tim McGraw is asking for him is 2004. (I just wanna make that clear because I did write it was 5 years after he graduated but in case no one did the math, I wanted to make that clear) hahah I'm sorry to have you guys calculating stuff. So sorry. 
> 
>  
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH for all your kind words! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story as much as me! It might be my favourite I've ever written :)

**1999**

 

The VIP pass consists of a little acoustic setlist for a few people and a reserved spot at one side of the stage. He wouldn’t have any problem in being on the floor with everyone but seeing that he has the opportunity to not be crushed between bodies, he’ll take it and stand at one side of the stage where he will have enough space to breath. Graham is full on fanboying. He keeps looking around and talking to people that also had gotten a VIP and were waiting for the short put together to start. Blake had taken a moment to look around, thinking that this place could easily fit five thousand people. He remembers when it was only him and their families watching them. How it then progressed to a few school friends, a few hundred and a little bit more of a thousand when they opened for the Red Hot Chilli Peppers.

Proud would be an understatement. Blake smiles as his eyes fall on the stage to see the drums, the guitars and bass on their stands and then a mic on the centre who he’s pretty sure is Gwen’s. He doesn’t really know if he is ready to see her. He won’t run now but the fact that in a few minutes his eyes will fall on her for the first time in two years has his palms sweating and his head spinning. There are only about fifty people here so the chances on her seeing him are very high. How will she react? Will she smile at him? Will he?

He’s really not sure where they stand. The last time he had heard her voice had been on her birthday. He had called her for her 23rd birthday and they had shared a few life updates in a three minute call. He remembers putting the phone down and realizing how quick they really had been.

Suddenly the lights go down and a few people scream around him. His hands fly to his ears as a silly smile appears on his face.

“Dude, oh my god!” Graham pats his chest, “I can’t believe I’m finally seeing them in concert!”

“It’s exciting!” Blake says looking at the stage.

“They started from nothing and look at them now. ‘Don’t Speak’ and 'Just a Girl' did it for them. There is only going up from here.” Blake had to bite his tongue and hide a proud smile as Graham talked. “She’s an exceptionally good songwriter. She even tops you and you’re really good man!” Graham laughs as his eyes go from Blake to the stage.

Blake knows that. He had told her a million times how good of a songwriter she was. She normally laughed along but he was glad she had decided to put her talent in action. He wants to let it out, tell Graham the truth, share his secret, “Graham, I actually-“ the words die on the atmosphere when the yelling starts again and he sees Tony jump on the stage along with, Tom, Adrian and finally Gwen. His eyes go from her plaid pants to her cropped top to finally land on her hair. He frowns for a second and closes his eyes only to open them again. _Yes, pink._ A silly grin appears on his face when a memory comes back to his mind. _I’ll die my hair pink one day._ She had spoken those words to him one lazy afternoon on the tree house. He had laughed and shaken his head saying that maybe it was too much but now that he’s looking at her, it really fits her, actually. He’s no expert on the matter but he’s guessing the colour is starting to fade because it’s more pastel pink and a few of her brown hairs are starting to show. The cropped top shows of her flat stomach but something about her arms makes him frown. She had always been quite petite and thin, but as beautiful as she looked, she was a bit too skinny. Blake closes his eyes and looks down thinking that if Tony had had anything to do with that, he was going to have to talk to him. He tries to put the thoughts aside and have a good time. On his side, Graham is full on screaming as Gwen finally stands behind the mic and taps on it to see it is really working.

“Hi!!” He feels his heart skip a beat when he hears her voice. He inhales sharply and widens his eyes, “How are you all doing?” A silly grin appears on his face as he links his fingers trying to control his nerves. It’s about time she sees him. He’s the tall person in plaid in between a crowd dressed in mostly black. He feels like the black ship. “We’re going to do two acoustic songs for you and then two covers. Sounds good?” The crowd screams as she turns to her left to nod at Tony who has a flat, nearly emotionless look on his face. Blake presses his lips and shakes his head. The man literally gets to play along Gwen and is with her nearly everyday, the least he could do is smile a little. She deserves that much.

Gwen closes his eyes as the soft acoustic of a guitar starts followed by the drums. “This is Just A Girl.”

Blake breathes in and lets the lyrics take over him. He hadn’t heard this song before but a verse in and he already loves it. Gwen doesn’t look at anywhere in particular but when the song is reaching the end she freezes and stands still holding tight to the mic stand as all her bandmates stare at her with a confused and scared look on their faces. His eyes haven’t left her since she appeared on stage but hers have just now found him. He holds her gaze until he sees her hands tighten around the microphone and her lower lip shake.

 

She had been so close to call him. She had wanted nothing more than get to see him during her twenty something hours in Nashville. But she hadn’t. Getting to see a bit of the city and have lunch in a very cowboy like restaurant did not help her emotions. She had wanted to keep it together for as long as possible but she had broken down when she had been left alone in the changing room a few minutes before the concert. She was in _his_ city and she hadn’t had the nerve to call him.

When they call her saying that the VIP crowd is ready she wipes away the tears and jumps around a little bit to get hyped up. She needs to hold it together. Just a day in this city. Then she can run away.

When she gets on stage everything changes. She feels the adrenaline start to take over her, she feels confident and ready to rock this place. That doesn’t even last a song thought. It all changes when she spots his plaid shirt and his stubbly face in the crowd. He is like neon in a grey crowd. She grips the microphone on the stand and presses her lips together. He looks so lost, hopeless even and a little shocked. That all goes away when his cheeks start to slowly twitch up and he shyly winks and then nods at her to continue.

 

The few seconds of their staring contest end when he pulls off a dimpled smile that he knows will get her see that it’s all good, that she can carry on. Graham turns his head to look at him curiously.

“Well she might be into plaid, after all.” Graham rolls his eyes and Blake lets out a little laugh.

“She wasn’t looking at me.” Blake tries to play along.

“Dude, she totally was.”

“Still, if she were, it’s stupid. I’m sure she will look at some other person at the end of the next song. It’s her job.”

“Whatever, loser.” Graham mocks him making Blake chuckle. When he turns his head to the stage, Gwen has her eyes on him. Not as intense as before but she is looking at him. There is a mixture he can’t quite understand but at least she doesn’t look mad or sad. Maybe a little confused.

Still goddamn beautiful.

 

When the VIP concert ends her eyes fall on him again. She had been looking anywhere but him for a while now and as much as he understood why, he missed her brown eyes. She stares and he stares back. Neither say anything but say everything. He nods and she winks back.

When the band disappear, Blake makes sure that Graham is okay with him leaving for a while before he takes off. His songwriter buddy had met a few No Doubt fans and they had hit it off right away, so much that Blake had felt left out.

 

He goes to the toilet to freshen up and takes a moment to check himself out on the mirror. He had let his stubble grow and he had avoided going to the barber for two month which as a result he had longer hair than normally. Even since he had cut it for prom he had kept in short, he had never gone back to the mullet. When he emerges from the toilets he walks as near as he can to the stage to see Eric fixing something on the keyboards. If talking to her older is what it takes to get to her, he’ll do just that.

“Eric!” He doesn’t need to call again. The man turns to the voice and then smiles when he sees it’s Blake. He presses down a keyboard to see it’s working and then walks to the side of the stage, where he jumps to the ground to meet with Blake. “Hey man!” He says shyly. He was never close to Gwen’s older brother but Eric pulls him close and hugs him tight.

“Look at you!” The songwriter slips his hands inside his jeans and bounces on his feet. “Still in Nashville, huh?”

“Still here.” He looks at the older Stefani and presses his lips together as he awkwardly stands before him thinking of what to say next. “They sound great!”

“Yes they do!”

“Gwen...” Blake sighs, “She was born for this.” The plaid wearing guy explains letting his eyes travel to the mic stand in the middle of the stage.

“Yeah.” Eric breathes out, “She’s amazing.” Blake nods and stares at Eric who is nervously playing with something in his fingers, “Fancy seeing you here.”  

“Yeah... I came with a friend of mine. He’s a huge fan.” Blake explains, “I...” he shakes his head but Eric's eyes on him encourage him to continue, “I actually have a backstage pass but-“ he runs a hand through his hair and looks down at his boots, “I don’t want to impose. It’s been a while.”

The older Stefani nods, “I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

“I don’t know...” he looks back down, “How is she? I heard the new single and I...”

“I know.” The words Wonder Woman repeat in his head over and over again. She really is that and so much more. “Could you maybe... I mean, I know I have no right and she has a job to do but,” Blake rambles making Eric let out a little laugh. “Tell her I’ll be at The Bluebird after the concert. It’s quite famous so getting there shouldn’t be a problem.”

“You can just waltz in the backstage, you know?” Eric points at the backstage pass hanging off of his neck.

“I don’t want to impose.”

“You two are weird.” Eric chuckles and puts his hand on Blake’s shoulder, “I’ll tell her.” He squeezes, “Good to see you!”

Blake nods and lets out a breath he didn’t know had been holding, “Thank you. Great to see you too.” They hug goodbye and Blake goes back to Graham to enjoy the rest of the concert.

 

He’s been in the bar for an hour now. He has had a beer, but now that he has finished it the bartender is looking at him like he should order another one or leave. He checks his watch and orders his second. The concert had ended two hours ago. Could it be that she was running late? That Eric hadn’t had time to speak to her yet or had just forgotten? Or maybe she didn’t want to see him after all. His mind starts to go round and round. He’s brought back to the first day he met her, the first time he made her laugh; their first dive in the lake, their first karaoke. All their firsts, seconds and thirds. All the times in three days that he had kissed her and finally to the night they had given their entire body and soul to each other. That had been a first he would never ever forget and that he would always cherish; even if they never see each other again. Even if they fall for other people. Even if they end up hating each other.

He runs a hand through his hair and takes a sip of his beer and then puts it down.

Two hours and twenty minutes.

 _She’s not coming._ He doesn’t say the words out loud but he repeats them in his head over and over again. He forces himself to finish his drink and then stands up to leave. As much as it shatters him. As much as it makes his heart ache and his dimpled face turn flat.

S _he has moved on._

He really doesn’t blame her. Maybe he should start to move on himself, as well. Truth is, he tried. Helen was fun, she was great even. He made Nashville fun and part of him had loved her. But she never came as close to what Gwen made him feel. Even when they were just friends she made him the happiest. She made him a better person. He did all the gentleman-y things he had learn in songs, movies and some from his dad, for her; he didn’t even have to think about it, he just opened doors and pulled back chairs as if it were the most normal thing in the world. He slips his hand inside his pocket and gets the truck keys. He slides the key inside the lock and turns it to open the door.  

“Blake.”

He freezes. His blood runs cold and he tightens his hold on the handle. His eyes close and he sighs. He would recognize that voice anywhere. Slowly, he starts to turn around and when his eyes finally land on her he can’t help but draw a small smile on his face.

“You came.” He links his fingers behind his back, “I was about to leave.”

“I can see that.” She says looking down at her converse shoes. There is a moment in which both look at the ground thinking about what to say or what to do. At the same time they tilt their head up to have their eyes meet. “Two years.” She exhales taking one step closer to him.

“I know.” He doesn’t look away and neither does she. Gwen’s still about six steps from him but it kind of feels like a mile. There is a coldness in the atmosphere that makes things a little awkward and distant. “You look good. Pink hair is nice.”

“I never thought you’d like it to be honest.” She draws a soft smile on her features and he takes a step closer.

“Why not?” Now it’s her time to step in close.

“I don’t know. I just... I had a rebel moment and did it.”

“I do like it.” He could reach out and touch her by now, but instead he keep his hands on his sides. “I like-“ he almost bites his tongue and keeps to himself but he decides to speak the truth, “I like everything about you. You know that.” Her heart jumps inside her chest when he speaks the words. She remembers having that exact same reaction a few years back whenever he’d compliment her. She feels like they are back to his tree house listening to 80s music, no worries in their minds. Without realizing it she has taken the last two steps and now has to tilt her head up to meet his baby blues. She has missed his eyes way too much; they calm her down and make her feel like home. “Do you-“ he begins but gets cut by the look on her eyes.

“Blake,”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t let this happen again.”

He shakes his head, “What?”

“Two years without seeing each other.” It’s close to midnight and the street lights aren’t enough for him to get a clear vision of her eyes but the way she breathes out at the end of the sentence and then looks down, lets him know that she’s holding the tears. That’s when he decides to do something. His hand reaches up to land on her shoulder as he softly squeezes.

“I’m sorry.”

“I stopped calling.”

“We both messed up.”

His hand stays on her shoulder but they both look away. It seems like they can’t hold their gaze for a longer period of time.

“I picked up the phone so many times.” He sighs running a hand through his hair. His hand on her shoulder drops to his sides and he takes a couple of steps away and then leans against the truck, his palms flat on the bodywork, as if he was ready to do push ups.

“Why didn’t you call then?”

“I don’t know, Gwen.” He says spinning on his feet to look at her again.

“Yes you do. Because I’m guessing it’s the same reason I didn’t call.” She puts a strand of her hair behind her ear and instead of taking a step towards him, she steps aside. He follows her with his eyes. He then realizes that she’s wearing loosely jeans, a brown cardigan that looks two sizes too big, partially covered with a green jacket and a pair of converse shoes.

“I...” he exhales.

“I didn’t want to know how happy you were with _her_.” Blake nods and presses his lips together.

“You know me so well.” He chuckles softly and shakes his head as a smile breaks on his face, “I didn’t want to know about _him_ either.”

There is a moment of silence in which they just hold their gazes. He bites his upper lip and Gwen runs a hand through her hair.

“Seeing you with him hurt.”

“Seeing you with... it destroyed me. I wanted to run away. I didn’t want to shake her hand or have a small talk.”

“Why did you, then?”

“Because you were happy and that’s all that mattered.”

His lower lip shakes at the look on her face. She looks really affected by all of it. Even her voice had changed.

“No one makes me happy the way you did.” The past tense makes her inside cringe. She wets her lower lip and spins on her feet to catch his breath and try to hold it together. She inhales and covers her face with her hands, which then make their way to her hair.

“You walked away.” She begins to turns around to meet his eyes in the dark, “You did this, Blake.”

He feels a knife cut through his skin, a shiver run down his spine and his eyes close in defeat.

_He knows._

He doesn’t stay silent though, “Everything looks so easy when you’re eighteen, when all you have is dreams set to accomplish.” He doesn't raise his voice, his words just don’t come out as gentle as they do whenever he talks to her or about her. He leans away from the car and takes a step towards her, “When you are young you’re allowed to make mistakes, because there’s time to fix them.” He takes a deep breath, looks way and back at her a few seconds later, “I made a mistake leaving and I will never forgive myself.” She just stares at him and he stares back. Truth is, she know everything is not his fault, she stopped calling as well, but the fact that _he left her_ still burns. None of this would have happened if he hadn’t left Anaheim.

“You say it like there isn’t time to fix it now.” She tries to keep it together and not have this turn out into an argument. “Remember when you said that if someone dared to break my heart I could call you and you’d take care of it?”

He lets out a little laugh, “I said no one would dare to cos once they’d get it, they’d be too stupid to let it go.” Slowly he brings his eyes back to look at her, “Which makes me stupid.” He has made his way towards her. He stands as close as possible without touching, he studies her face and most importantly her eyes. The darkness in them speaks, it always has. The gloomy street makes it a little difficult to make up what’s going through her mind and that is getting reflected in her baby browns. His eyes are so fixed on hers that he doesn’t realize it when her hand comes up and rests against his cheek.

“I didn’t want to come to the bar. If fact I almost didn’t, because I knew that if I’d see you, I wouldn’t want to leave and I can’t do that.” He closes his eyes at the touch of her hand to his stubbly cheek. It feels so good, so at home. Just the touch of her fingertips gets his heart to skip a beat and it shocks him how even the distance and the years apart, nothing has changed. She gets the butterflies flying in his stomach, just like the first day. His hands slip off his jeans to wrap around her and she melts. Her body falls against his, her head on his chest and his on her shoulder. He sucks in a breath as he tries to control a sob daring to escape his mouth, but he does hear her let out an almost inaudible cry, which has one of his hands rubbing her back. When almost a minute later, she leans back the hand on his cheek travels to the back of his neck, “You raised my expectations on love way too high in just three days.”

“Gwen,” He whispers but she cuts him off.

“Nothing compares to those three days and I can’t have you.” She feels like a huge weight has been taken off her shoulders when she speaks her mind.

His hands on her back come all the way up to her face, which gets framed in between his palm, “You’ll always have me. Don’t you see it? I can’t move on, Gwen. I can’t and I’ve tried. Helen left and it didn’t even hurt. My buddies and I go out once or twice a week and I’ve lost count on how many blind dates they have set me up with without me knowing.” He rambles a little bit to get to the point, “The only truth is that if I can’t have you, I don’t want anyone else.” He is so close to lean down and press his lips to hers, so very close. But he doesn’t. If he does that they will go back to just having a few hours together, back to when they were eighteen and he broke her heart. She gulps and then wets her lips, the touch of his fingertips against her skin is waking up something in her that she thought was gone.

“I tried to hate you for leaving me. I tried.” His eyes close at her words, “It took me just a few hours to realize that I could never hate you. I could never hate you for pursuing your dream. For doing what you wanted for once. You dreamt of Nashville all your life and me taking you away from it would have been the most selfish thing.”  

“The Nashville I dreamt about was better than reality.” He admits.

“But you’re still here, which means you’re still fighting and I admire you for that.”

“If I could go back in time I’d stay.”

She shakes her head as a soft little smile plays on her lips, “If I could go back in time I would change so many things.”

His eyes widen and his dimples carve on his face, which she takes as a positive sign, “What would you have changed?”

“I... I just wish I had seen you with different eyes sooner.” His forehead leans against hers and he takes a few seconds to just enjoy it. He beams when her hands grip his plaid shirt, “You must be cold.”

“Forget about the damn weather.” He giggles, his forehead still pressed against hers. “You know,” he leans back a bit to be able to look at her in the eyes, “Maybe all the suffering and the years apart will makes us stronger for a future together.”

“I hate that we let our dreams take over us.” One of her hands comes up and round his middle back.

“There is an us and there will be forever.”

“That’s not the us I’m talking about and you know it.” She teases a bit and he grins feeling the awkwardness of the atmosphere start to fade as they let their playful side show.

“The only thing in this world that I am sure of is that,” he stops abruptly. His hands freeze on her cheeks and he feels his insides go cold of nerves. She watches his face change but she holds his blue eyes, she won’t let him slip away now.

“What?” She asks softly, almost whispering.

“I am going to marry you one day.” Everything stops. They don’t blink, even Gwen has to remind herself to breath at one point.

“Wh- what?” She lets out a nervous laugh.

He clears his throat and closes his eyes with a little bit of force, “Don’t freak out on me.” He makes her nervously giggle on his chest when she leans in, “I just want you to know that I will wait. I don’t care how long it takes. I am completely, utterly yours.”

“You’re crazy, you know that?” The tone of her voice and the giggle at the end lets him know that she is joking and that makes him happy. The distant and nervous first minutes had been hard but he is glad he found a way to turn it around.

“Can this crazy man buy you a beer?”

 

 

They walk back inside the bar and Blake tells her to sit at the table at the back to avoid getting recognized. She rolls her eyes at him but then nods.

“I can’t believe this is our first legal beer together.” She laughs when he hands her the glass bottle.

“We did have our fare of illegal ones, yeah.” Blake chuckles and then puts his beer up, “To you. Because you’re way more than just a girl.” She lovingly smiles at him as her eyes soften. She had been waiting for him to say something about that particular song.

She clings her bottle with his and they both take a sip. “You are the only person that doesn’t make me feel like just a girl. I feel like I’m only in this world to follow orders.”

“When did you even follow orders?” He asks with a cheeky grin on his features. “I hate that you feel like that and even if the song and the lyrics are good, I...”

“Don’t say you’re sorry. Maybe this song will make others realize that women are here for way more than following orders and be perfect wives.”

“It’s just so unfair.”

“I wish everyone was like you. You understand, some don’t even try.” He nods quietly. “It makes me so mad.”

The conversation continues as they catch up on their professional life mostly. She tells him that the band has three concerts left and then they will be able to go back home for Christmas, and he tells her that he’s basically just writing music and working at a bar where he gets to perform from time to time. He also tells her that he will be home for Christmas since he missed last year and he was in much need to see his mother.

 

“When are you leaving Nashville?” He asks taking the first sip of his third beer.

“Tomorrow after lunch. We have an interview for some magazine at 11.” She explains reaching out for, also, her third beer.

“I have an idea.” He draws a smirk on his face that gets Gwen interested on his plan. “I wanna show you around.” She checks the time to see it’s almost 2 in the morning. “Don’t you have to work tomorrow? Cos I only have the interview but then I can crash on the tour bus until I get tired of laying around.”

“I can pull off an all nighter for you.” He winks at her taking another sip.

Without saying anything else, they finish their drink and then walk outside the bar and to Blake’s truck.

“You got yourself another bat-mobile?” She teases going to the passenger’s door as he follows.

“This is bat-mobile runs faster than lightning.” He reaches for the door handle and pushes it down to open the door for her. She stares at him for a moment and then giggles softly before thanking him.

 

He shows her main street and the most popular bars, the university and where he currently lives. They don’t go inside because he knows his roommates are sleeping and he doesn’t want to wake them up. He also shows her his secret spot at the top of a little hill, where he had written his first song in this new city.

When she yawns Blake checks his watch to see it’s close to 5 in the morning and the sun will start to appear behind the mountains in the next hour. Sitting on the bed of his truck with her arm pressed to his is like going back to when they were eighteen and she kissed him on their spot in Anaheim. His head turns to look at her and suddenly he has a huge desire to just say _fuck it_ and press his lips to hers.

“Do you want to go back?” He whispers.

“No.” Her head falls on his shoulder and her hand on his lap next to his. His eyes go from her to their hands and he makes the bold move to take hers in his. One by one he slips his fingers in between hers like puzzle pieces. He doesn’t have to look back up at her to know that she is smiling softly. “I liked catching up with you, although I hope one day we’ll be so tired of being with each other that we will not need to catch up.” She stares at their linked hands as silence takes over for a quick moment and her mind travels back to that first kiss they shared. Before that they had been sitting like this, calmly talking things through and something about right now made her want to go back to a few years before, where everything was easier.

“I feel like with us there is always going to be catching up.” Blake breaks the silence and makes her look up.

“Because we won’t see each other.” She lets go of his hand and even moves away to sit in front of him, but with her hack to him. He freezes for a moment, thinking about what could he have said wrong. “Gwen,” he tries to catch his attention by calling out her name.

“There will never be the us we had five years ago, right?” She won’t even turn her head to look at him through the corner of her eye. She decides to jump off the bed of the truck and lean against the tailgate looking at the horizon starting to get orange by the sun.

For a minute he just studies her. He gives her and himself time to think things through because he doesn’t want to start an argument, the last thing he wants when she’s only going to be in this city with him for two more hours, is fight.

Thinking about it, Blake hops off the car and slips his hands inside his blue camo jacket. He stands next to her enjoying the view quietly. “Truth is I don’t know. Do I want to? Of course. I want nothing more than be with you.”

She takes a few step and paces the ground with her head down, “It doesn’t look like it.” It comes out almost as a whisper but judging by the sigh that escapes his mouth, it’d reached his ears.

“Where will you be tomorrow? What about next month? Or the following?” He tries to keep his voice down, but his blood starts to boil in his veins. “What else do you want me to do Gwen, huh? I tell you I’ll wait for you and that I want to marry you one day and this is how you... I can’t believe this.” He grunts and throws his arms up in the air to then let them slowly fall on his hair and to his face to cover it. “I don’t wanna be with you and not have you by my side and I’m sure you feel the same way vice versa.”

“A relationship can work in the distance, you know?” She raises her voice a little bit.

“I know, but for how long?”

“Blake,” She turns to look at him and presses her lips together, “I just- I miss you.”

“And I miss you too, but I want this for you. I want you to shine bright and you’re getting there Gwen! You... The way you move on stage, the way you sing and dance,” Blake _wows,_ “Aside from being super,” he bites down his lower lip, “hot!” She chuckles and tilts her head down to hide two blushed cheeks, “You were meant for this. I told you awhile ago and I am telling you now. You’re going to be a star.”

“It’s not as fun as it seems.” She looks down once more.

“I can imagine.” His soft tone has her meeting his eyes again. “Listen,” He begins with a smile on his dimpled face, “I have two weeks off on Christmas and I’m going to go home full time. Let’s do the road trip we never got to do.” The way his dimples intensify on his face has her cheeks twitching up and a shiver running through her body.

“Yeah?”

“We won’t have to sleep in tents or on my truck since we have a job and stuff now,” He makes her laugh tilting her head back, “I guess growing up has its perks ** _,_ ** huh?”

“Yeah.”

His hand cups her cheek, “Just you and me.”  

“You promise?” She asks.

“I promise.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will he keep the promise?


	8. With or Without You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas time y'all!!

Packing to go back home had been easy and fast. He didn’t need the heavy jacket or the Timberland boots; just his usual jeans and plaid. California winter felt like a chillier summer and part of him really loved and missed that. When he had called his mother saying that he would be spending the whole Christmas season home, she’d nearly cried. They hadn’t seen each other much in the past two years and he hated to let her down. It was time to pick family over work.

Driving to Anaheim gave him time to think, sing and even write a bit. One never knows when inspiration strikes so he finds himself pulling at one side of the road more than once to reach for his spiral book to write ideas or even verses of songs.

 

When he arrives home he gets his bag and guitar and walks inside to find his mother reading a book with country music playing on the background.

“Who’s this stranger in my house?” She teasingly asks putting her book down on the coffee table. The dimpled smile that breaks on Blake’s face has her mother wiping off a tear rolling down her face as her son puts the guitar case down. He also lets his bag fall on the floor before he reaches down to pull his mother to his chest. Her arms come around him and his land on her upper back.

“Hi mum!” Blake whispers squeezing her a little.

“Blake,” she breathes out and then pulls away a bit to meet his blue eyes, “Hi honey!” She sniffs quietly and Blake’s hands come up to her face to wipe the tears away. “You’re taller and more handsome.” The songwriter chuckles and shakes his head lightly.

“And you look more beautiful every day.”

“Psss, lies!” She softly hits his chest.

“Feels so good to be home.” When they pull away he reaches for his bag and puts it on the sofa along with his guitar, “How’s everyone?”

“Forget about the others, tell me about you!”

Blake beams and follow his mother inside the kitchen, where he sits on one of the stools. Nothing has changed in this house, the fridge is still full of magnets, the coffee maker is by the window and next to the toaster; the TV is off, he never recalls it being on, but the radio is and on the country dial.

He tells his mother everything about Nashville, about his new place and his new buddies. He tells her about the songs he has written and the ones he has sold for upcoming country artists.

“I also auditioned for a band leader position. They really liked that I could sing, so that’s a plus I guess.” He explains staring down at the cristal bottle of beer.

Her mother studies him. He looks fine but the excitement in his voice is missing, his dimples appear on his face but almost forcefully. He looks a bit off. “What’s wrong?” She says leaning over the kitchen island to take his hand. Blake stares at the bottle, but when her hand touches his, his head starts to tilt up to meet his mother’s eyes.

“I can’t hide from you, huh?” He chuckles softly and then puts the beer down as a huge sigh escapes his mouth. His free hand flies up to cover his face, “I feel like I’m getting nowhere. It’s been five years now and as much as I like writing songs I hoped to at least be a small someone by now.” His gaze never leaves hers as much as he wants to look away and run off.

“You knew it was going to be tough.” Dot squeezes his hand and rubs circles on top of it.

“Yeah.” He exhales loudly and then lowers his head, “I was ready to take over the world.” His voice trembles, “I-“ he sighs once again and then looks back up to his mother’s concerned eyes, “I saw Gwen.” His lower tone lets Dot know what he is affected by all of this and that he is trying to keep it together. The short eye contact he is sharing is just another indication of his shyness and nerves, but most of all sadness.

“When?” She asks tentatively.

“Three weeks ago.” He sniffs, “She had a concert in Nashville and didn’t even tell me.” His mother’s eyes close, “I asked the studio if I could get tickets and went with Graham.” Blake had mentioned his friend so many times Dot felt like she knew him already. “I encountered Eric and told him to tell Gwen to meet me at The Bluebird.” Blake explains, “I waited for two something hours and when I was about to leave she appeared.”

His mother just stares and listens, she doesn’t know where they stand so she decides not to ask questions and let him explain himself. “It felt like nothing had changed. Like we were back to when we were eighteen.”

“You’re still the same people.”

Blake takes a deep breath, “I don’t know, mum.” The songwriter reaches for the beer bottle again, “I want her to shine. The way she commands the stage,” he wows, which makes his mother smile bright, “She’s was good. But, now? She’s amazing and I couldn’t be more proud.”

“Wanna know how I know you haven’t changed one bit, aside from a deeper voice?” His mother speaks squeezing his hand. Blake nods, “You have the same look on your face when you talk about her.” Blake draws a small beam on his dimpled face and looks down a little bit embarrassed, “She’s home for the holidays, you know?” She says softly.

“I know.” He looks up again, “I promised we’d do the road trip we never got to do.” His mother’s mouth forms a little O as her eyebrows also shoot up, “I know that look.” Blake chuckles.

“I just... be careful, honey. You’re leaving again in two weeks.”

He presses his lips together and closes his eyes, “I know.”

  


They meet after dinner and head to their bar along with Gwen’s younger brother Todd and his girlfriend, Jen. They never really hanged out together, because they were a little younger but Todd’s a cool guy. They take a seat on the booth next to the small karaoke stage and order four beers. Todd and Jen explain everything about their second year at college and Gwen and Blake tell them about their few hours in Nashville.

“I actually have news,” Gwen says all of a sudden and after they had ordered a second round, “We’re doing an international tour starting February.” Gwen explains all excited. Todd congratulates her and Jen hugs her tight but Blake freezes. He feels his hands run cold and a shiver run down his spine. He says nothing, just let's his two hands come around the beer bottle as he tries to control his emotions. He had been doing a lot of thinking these past few weeks and it all had gone out the window with Gwen’s announcement.

When her eyes finally land on his, she doesn’t know how to react. The light in his eyes is gone, along with his signature dimpled look. “Congrats.” It’s all that comes out of his mouth. Flat and emotionless. He takes a sip and sits back looking down at the bottle on his lap.

“Thanks.” She replies coldly and shrugs.

 _Weird_.

Noticing the awkwardness in the atmosphere, Todd changes the subject to a university project he was working on. Blake listens and watches him, everything to try and keep his gaze from hers. The plan lasts about a minute because without even realizing it, his eyes travel to hers, who is sitting beside his brother. She shots him a questioning look which Blake ignores and goes back to look at Todd.

It stays like that until the bartender walks up to them saying that it’s closing time and that they should get going. They walk home in silence. Todd and Jen lead, holding hands and giggling at each other while Blake and Gwen walk with their head down and separated from each other. He watches her from the corner of his eye and she does the same when she knows he is not looking. “You aren’t even happy for me.” Her voice breaks the silence as they continue to walk awkwardly. He turns his head to the left and presses his lips together, “You could at least...”

“I am happy for you.”

She stops walking and stares at him as he takes a couple of steps but them seeing that she is not by his side anymore he halts. “It doesn’t look like it.”

Blake sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “I just... It took me by surprise that is all.”

“Bullshit!” Her sudden yell even makes Todd and Jen stop as they call out for them but neither turns around. The younger couple just stands and watches silently. “Why do you lie?”

“Lie?” Blake asks sarcastically.

“Yes, lie. Why? You forget I am your best friend and I can read you like an open book.” She lowers her voice a bit but Todd and Jen can still hear them even if they are about fifty steps ahead.  

“Funny you mention that!” He ironically laughs pacing the floor, “Best friends call when they visit town.” He spins on his feet and fixes his eyes on hers. He can see her eye-lids close and silently exhale. The brown in her eyes darkens and her hands come up to her waist. “You didn’t even call me, Gwen!”

“And you stopped coming back home for two _fucking_ years!” Her voice raises again. Her hands come up on the air as she walks up to him. From the corner of her eye she sees Todd and Jen frozen on the middle of the street. Their hands are linked and the confusion on their faces is evident. The younger woman looks up at her boyfriend but he shakes his head and shrugs.

Gwen goes back to Blake, to his intense blue eyes. She knows she has a tear threatening to run free and she also knows that her lower lips is trembling, but she shakes all her insecurities away, “I don’t know who wins at letting the other down!” Silence surrounds them after her words are out. He closes his eyes and brings his hands up to cover his face as he loudly exhales. On the other side, Gwen, breathes in and out as if she had just ran a mile. He looks up for a moment and then starts to walk away. “Oh good run away, yeah!” She huffs. “That’s what you do best.” That is the last straw. Blake forcefully spins on his feet to meet her eyes.

“What does that even mean?” He asks nearly yelling, “Why are you so mad at me all of a sudden? I don’t understand.” They shouldn’t be talking so loud in the middle of the street, he knows that and so does her, but stubborn as they are, they won’t move until they put an end to this.

“It looks like you’re not even thrilled to see me, that you came back home because you had to and not because you wanted to.” She says in a calmer tone. “I thought something had changed in Nashville, but I guess I thought wrong.” He lets the wind breaks the silence for a moment and then replies.

“No, no.” He walks up to her and takes both her hands in his, “It did!” His fingers fit between hers like puzzle pieces. Like they always did. He slowly starts to look up and draws a small beam on his face when his eyes meet hers in the dimmed street.

“Why can’t we seem to communicate?”

He shakes his head and looks down at their intertwined hands, “I wish things were as easy as when we were eighteen.”

 

About fifty steps from them, Jen and Todd stood still watching the scene unfold. Todd had wanted to get their attention and tell them that they’d probably take the conversation somewhere else, but she had stopped him.

“I think they need this.” Jen said quietly, “Let’s get going. They know their way back.”

 

Gwen lets his words repeat in her head. When they were eighteen they ran this town, they were the weirdos on a car that barely started. The ones that would take over open-mic night and sing love songs to each other even in best friend basis.

“What happened to us, Blake?” The worry in her eyes scares the hell out of him. He doesn’t know how to hold this conversation but he’ll die trying.

“We thought it was going to be easy.” He begins, “But it is not. The distance and our dreams took over us. But look at you now! It’s not all bad news.” She draws a soft smile on her face and looks down, “You have songs in the radio and an international tour starting next month. It’s all you ever dreamt of!” Her head comes to rest against his chest and he lets go of her hands to wrap his arms around her upper back. “I’m so proud of you, you know that, right?” She nods against his torso and sighs bringing her arms around his waist.

“I just wish things between us were different.” The unsure tone makes Blake hug her even tighter.

“Different how?” He makes a bold move and asks.

“I wish we could be together and extend our little infinity.”

“Our little infinity.” Blake whispers and rests his head on top of hers. He closes his eyes to freeze this moment, with her in his arms, in his memory like a photograph. “What makes you think I’d be a good boyfriend? That we’d be good at being together, in a relationship.”

She leans away and looks up at him in confusion but she shakes it all away, “Because the best love stories are based in friendship.”

“Are we a love story?” His dimples crave on his skin as he leans down a little bit to have his eyes as near to hers as possible,

“It’s taking us a bit, but yeah.” She is forced to blink so her eyes don’t get tearful. Blake takes the brief seconds to lean down and press his lips to her upper cheek. He feels her freeze and catch in a breath.

“Maybe we would have never gotten together if I had stayed.” His words caress her skin making a shiver run through her body. “I don’t like that I left you, but maybe we wouldn’t be right here, right now.”

“I can’t imagine a world in which we don’t end up together.” Her hands slip under his sweater to touch his plaid.

“Do you think all the years apart, the fights, the broken hearts and the missing each other will pay off?”

“God, I hope so.” She lets out a laugh and lets her head fall on his chest again. “The real world sucks, let's go back to high school.”

“Okay.” Slowly she starts to lean away and tilts her head up to meet his sparkly blue eyes. His hands around her slowly travel down her body and then he takes one of her hands in his. He looks down to their feet to see she’s wearing converse.

They’re good to run.

Without a warning he starts to run and pulls her with him taking Gwen completely off guard.

“What the hell, Blake!”

He laughs but doesn’t reply. He continues to run and she follows. She really doesn’t have the chance to stop because his hold on her is tight and if she's honest, such a sudden action coming from him can only mean fun and mystery.

_She’s up for both._

After about ten minutes of running, Blake stops abruptly and she nearly crashes onto him. They both lean over and place their palms on their knees to not fall on the floor from the exhaustion. Their heavy breathing is the only sound breaking the silence.

When she realizes where they are she frowns and chuckles, “Why are we at school?”

“Do you trust me?” He asks extending his hand.

“I do.” She takes it and with a giddy smile on her face lets him take the lead. They walk hand in hand to gym where they find a window that never closed well and judging by it, five years later it’s still broken. Blake slides it open and turns to look at her with a smirk playing on his lips. He knows this window leads to the men’s showers and it’s pretty high, so he goes in first and then helps Gwen out. When they’re both inside the room they lock eyes and smile.

“Men’s showers, huh?” She smirks.

Blake just shrugs and winks at her taking her hand again and leading them to the basketball court.

“What’s going on in that wild mind of yours?”

“Wild?” Blake laughs and lets go of her hand to take a step back. “Close your eyes.” She does but when he stays quiet she peeks making Blake tilt his head back laughing. “No peeking.”

“Okay.” She closes her eyes again and bounces on her feet.

“Picture the colourful lights, girls is nice or horrendous dresses,” she giggles, “The music playing on the background by some guy that calls himself a DJ but really knows nothing about music.” She nods a few times which makes a toothed smile appear on his face. “The guys in suits. You in a dark green dress that matches my tie.” He stops for a moment, “Yeah, I’m suited up as well.” Gwen lets out a laugh and he takes a step forward to stand before her. “And you look so beautiful it makes it hard to breath. All the heads turn when you walk in.”

“You’re exaggerating.” Gwen chuckles hitting his chest.

“And I am the lucky bastard that gets to hold your hand.” He says softly.

“Do I need to remind you that you had all the popular girls checking you out?” Her eyes shot open as her eyebrows raise up and a she pulls off sassy look on her face that makes Blake snort.

“Lies.” He laughs it off. “Close your eyes again.”

“Only if you do too.” He nods and closes them before her. His hands land on her sides and he tugs her closer making her hands fly up and around his head where she plays with the little curls on the nape of his neck, “Which song is playing?” She asks resting her cheek against his jawline.

“When you say nothing at all.” She giggles against his stubbly cheek as she gets on her tiptoes and lets a hand run through his hair making him let out a breath. His hands move up and down her sides. The clock stops as they sway to an inexistent rhythm in a dimmed gym lit by the lamp posts outside. Her lips take a chance and press against his stubbly jaw making Blake’s hands freeze on her sides and a breath catch in his throat. She leans away and then in again. He melts to the touch this time, he sighs and brings one of his hands up to her cheek where his thumb rubs circles on her skin.

“We never got to do this at prom.” He breaks the silence as he speaks softly against her ear making a shiver run down her spine. “Tony-“

“Don’t. It’s just you and me now.” She leans back to look at him but his eyes are closed. Her hands come to his cheeks and she now rubs his skin. Slowly, he opens his eyes and a soft smile appears on his face, “It was always you and me either way.”

His cheeks twitch up and then he leans down to press his lips to her temple. “Is this fun? I mean...” they continue to slowly sway, “Are you having a good time or is it boring? You can tell me if you don’t like doing these kind of stuff.” The insecurity in his voice has Gwen shaking her head a few times as her hands fall on the nape of his neck again.

“It’s fun.” She assures him, “What do you mean?”

“If you’d rather hit a party or a disco you could tell me.”

She shakes her head again and lets a toothed smile appear on her features, “We haven’t changed one bit. We’re still the kids that wrote songs in the tree house, that jumped off rocks in the lake,” She explains and he chuckles, “The ones that used to stay in and play a few chords than go drink at someone’s place.”

“We’re pretty boring. Such freaks.” Blake laughs and she giggles closing her eyes and leaning in to hide her head in his inviting neck.

“Not boring, different. I like that we are different.” His gaze meets hers and their eyes shine in the dark. “What?” She asks curiously when he opens his mouth and then closes it again.

“The songs has changed.” Blake points out.

“Please DJ, let it be a slow one cos he’s a really poor upbeat dancer.” Blake tilts his head back laughing when Gwen shouts out as if she were really speaking to someone. When her voice echoes she joins Blake and laughs, just, she leans forward to his welcoming chest. “Oh, thank god!”

“I don’t recognize the song.” He plays along caressing the ends of her pink hair.

“With or Without you, U2.” She points out.

“I prefer with you.” She hits his chest playfully as she looks up and giggles at his dork side.

There is a full minute of silence in which Blake debates whether he should tell her what's on his mind or wait.

“I can hear your head going at a hundred miles per hour.” She caresses his face and then lets her hands link a the back of his head.

“When you left Nashville,” he begins, “I wrote a song and it got me thinking.”

“‘Bout what?”

“You. Us.”

“And?”

“I reacted the way I did before,” she frowns, “When you said that you were going to tour internationally.” She nods, “because seeing you in Nashville made me realize a few things.”

She stops slow-dancing and only stares at him, “Like what?”

“That pink hair is cool. I should try it myself.” His dimpled grin makes Gwen hit his arm softly, “Alright, alright,” he laughs. “It made me realize that I’m truly only myself when I am with you and that you make me a better man.” He takes a deep breath, “I thought about,” the hope in her eyes makes him smile from ear to ear, “maybe we could-“ he stutters.

“Hey,” She links her fingers with his and brings their hands in between their chests. “It’s just me.”

“You still make me nervous.” He leans down and kisses one of her hands, “Maybe we could give the long distance thing a shot. I could drive to Anaheim twice a month and we could spend weekends together or we could-“ he stops when he sees a tear escape her right eye. “No, don’t cry.”

“I’m so selfish.”

“No, Gwen! No. I should have told you sooner. And it’s not like you get to decide when you tour. You’re a group and signed by record label. If someone understands, that is me.” He lets go of one of her hands to put a strand of her hair behind her ear. His hand stays there rubbing the side of her face gently. “I told you I’d wait for you. That doesn’t change.”

“You’ll get tired of waiting for me and I won’t blame you.”

“Never.” He had wanted to stay strong and not give in to his feelings but having her so close and _oh_ so beautiful blocked his brain. He leans down but waits for her to give any indication, a sign that tells him it’s fine, that he can carry on. She gets on her tiptoes and he closes the distance. Feeling his lips against hers stops time. Even her hands on his sides freeze and she feels her lips shiver when he pulls away for a brief second. She melts to him and he melts to her, their hands wake up and wander around. His travel from her cheeks to her sides and hers tangle in his hair pulling it lightly and making him groan against her open mouth which ends up grinning against his.

“I promise we will move from the broken hearts and distant homes, from lonely nights and sad songs.” He says pulling away just enough to be able to speak right to her lips. His eyes stay closed, unlike hers. “I promise we will go back to when we were eighteen and we had our little infinity and you were my biggest forever.”

“You really are a songwriter, huh?” She giggles against his cheek.

“I was trying to be romantic and now I lost my track.” He lets out a little laugh and leans down to playfully peck her lips once again. “Ready for the road trip?”

She nods, “We leave the 27th?”

“Yep.” He lets out a pop sound and she rests her head on his chin. “We can make it our second little infinity and then the third will just be _a_ infinity.”

“They do say third time’s a charm.” She smiles and leans in to kiss him again.

They will end up with a broken heart yet again. They know it and it will hurt. They’ll scream and get mad at each other, she will cry and he will sob like a baby. But if they can only love each other goodbye for now, that’s what they’ll do.

  


There had been a time in which they’d join the families and have dinner together on the 26th but with the kids grown up it had gotten more and more difficult. The night of the 26th, Blake was sitting home with his mother and stepfather watching a movie he had really no interest in, when the house phone goes off. He frowns and reaches up to take it since he’s sitting next to it.

“Is this Blake Shelton?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“I call from Capitol Records Nashville regarding your audition the other day.”

“Yeah, hello.” He stands from the couch and goes to the kitchen when his mother asks who is it on the phone.

“Listen, you did not get selected for Garth Brooks but there is this new country artist, who is pretty new to Nashville but is quite known in Australia.” Blake listens closely, “His name is Keith Urban and he needs a band leader and a male background vocals.” He has to suck in his urge to scream victory, “He really liked your audition and he loves your voice.”

“Thank you.” He really doesn’t know what else to say.

“His tour begins in three weeks, I know it’s sudden but if you want the position you should be in Nashville before New Year’s Eve.”

  


He swings the bag on his shoulder and picks up his guitar with the other hand. He meets his mother’s eyes as he walks down the stairs, “Are you sure?”

He nods, “I’ve never been more sure.” His mother’s cheeks twitch up.

“I just want you to be happy, honey.” Her hand caresses his face and Blake lets his eyes close and his head lean against the soft touch.

“I chose Nashville over her once, I’m not going to do it again.” Even though his tone is serious, a dimpled smile appears on his face and that’s all his mother needs to see to know that he is completely sure of his choice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like they will be happy for a while.
> 
> Or will they? ;)
> 
>  
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the comments and kind words on twitter. You guys make me so happy.


	9. Man Enough Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a moment in which Blake sings a song. Said song exist and it's called Man Enough Now by Chris Bandi.  
> I suggest you read the lyrics because they talk about them later in the chapter. 
> 
>  
> 
> I have only re-read it once, I apologize if there is any mistake but I'm in a hurry lol

He drives to her house and parks outside. He had wanted to avoid seeing her parents because the look on her father’s eyes two years ago still burns. Dennis had always been like a father figure to him but if looks could kill, Blake would be six feet under by now. He gulps and slips his hands inside the sleeves of his denim jacket. 

“You can do this.” He says to himself seconds before he reaches up and rings the doorbell. He breathes in and then out and finally pulls off one of his charming dimpled smiles to whoever opens the door. He feels relieved when it’s Patty and not Dennis, even though he for sure will have to face Gwen’s dad in a few seconds or minutes since it’s Saturday and he’s off work on the weekends. Gwen’s mum opens her arms for him and Blake chuckles leaning down to hug her. 

“Look at you!” She says hugging him tight. Blake’s eyes fall on Gwen, who’s leaning against the stairs. Patty pulls away and Blake beams down at her.

“Hi!” His dimples pop in his face, “How are you doing?”

“Good, but tell me about you!” Blake bounces on his feet as he stares at Gwen from the corner of his eye. The girl chuckles at her mother’s interrogatory session and she looks down to her bare-feet. Blake pitches his life to her mother in just a few lines as the woman listens carefully. 

“I’m just writing songs for now but we’ll see.” 

“You two,” she says pointing as Gwen as well, “used to write amazing songs.” 

His eyes shift to Gwen, who blushes a little bit and then, finally, walks up to her mother and Blake. “We did.” 

His eyes stay on her. She’s petite and beautiful next to him and he cannot wait until they are alone so he can touch her in some way or another, maybe even kiss her again. He had wanted to stay away and keep a distance but there is no such thing as staying away from Gwen, it’s stronger than him. “We should write some more one day.” His soft country drawl makes her giggle. That sound is the most beautiful one he has ever heard. 

“Take care of her.” Patty breaks the silence and the comfortable conversation and turns to the protective mum he knows she is. 

“I will.” The songwriter nods at Gwen’s mother.

“He always has.” Gwen adds making Blake’s head turn to her as his eyes grow wide. 

“I know he has,” Patty says, “Just...” She sighs, “Be careful. I know you’re both adults now and a little more responsible but I still worry.” Blake draws a small side smile on his face when her mother speaks. His and Gwen’s mother are so alike when it comes to them. They are protective to a fault because they both have had to say goodbye quite a few times and have had to learn to let them go and grow up. Still, twenty three and independent, they worry. 

“I promise I will keep her safe.” Patty brightly smiles at him, “I won’t let anything happen to her.” 

“If there is someone I trust out of all her friends, that is you.” A male voice interrupts the conversation as Blake feels the nerves creep up his body. He gulps and turns to find Dennis walking up to them. “Hello, Blake!” The younger man takes his hand to shake as Gwen’s father smile at him. 

_ He had not expected that _ .  _ At all. _

“H-hi!” He stutters for a moment. “Nice to see you.” He tries to stay as correct as he can. “So uhm- we should,”

“Can I speak to you for a moment?” Her father’s voice cuts him off. Blake presses his lips together and nods. 

“Yeah, uhm sure, of course.” When Dennis turns around to walk to the living room, Blake gulps and looks down at Gwen who's smiling nervously at him. She shots her eyebrows up and shrugs shaking her head. 

Patty studies them and stays silent. She knows exactly what Dennis is going to talk to Blake about because he had talked to her about it while they were making breakfast two hours ago. Blake slips his hands in his pockets and follows the middle aged man. When he’s halfway there, he stops and turns to Gwen, “if you want to put your things inside the truck, here you have the keys.” He throws the keys to her and she catches them and winks at him. 

Blake leaves the hall and meets Dennis in the living room. He stands awkwardly in the middle of the room as Gwen’s dad looks outside the window where he sees Gwen walk towards Blake’s truck. “She’s my little girl, you know?” Blake nods and lets him continue, “I want to protect her from so many things and I know that I can’t since she’s always on the road.” He man sighs and Blake walks closer to him, “I’m sorry for judging you two years ago. I thought Gwen was miserable because of you but-“ he turns to look at the songwriter and shakes his head, “It was Tony who had hurt her. Not you.” 

“I’d never hurt her.”

“Even though you cannot really know that, I trust you. She’s happier and more like the Gwen I know when she’s with you.” Blake draws a soft smile on his stubbly face, “Now,” He knew it would not all be flowers and smiles, “I saw her hurting because of you once and I don’t want that again.” 

“Neither do I.” Blake’s stares outside at Gwen loading her suitcase on the truck and stumbling a bit when she picks it up and it’s a little too heavy. He chuckles and then turns to look at Dennis, “Last thing I want is to see her sad and down. It... destroys me and that’s why I never want to be the reason she feels that way again.” 

“You’re a good man.” Dennis pats Blake’s back.

“I try.” Blake pulls off a dimpled smile, “Dennis,” He looks down at his boots and then back outside at Gwen who’s talking to her mother by his truck, “I-“ he sighs and runs a hand through his hair. 

“I know you love her.” Blake’s eyes grow wide at the words. He freezes for a brief moment but then softly nods looking at Dennis from the corner of his eye. “I saw it years ago and I see it now.” 

Blake nods again, “I always will.” 

“Have a nice trip. Get back home safe, son.” He draws a little smile when he hears the word son come out of Gwen’s dad’s mouth. The songwriter offers his hand for Dennis to shake and the older man takes it. 

“Thank you.” 

  
  
  


He hugs Patty goodbye and then follows Gwen to the passenger side where he opens the door for her. She smiles up at him and gets inside the car. When Blake starts the engine, she turns to wave her parents goodbye and when she cannot see them anymore she sits right and turns on the radio. 

Her head turns to look at Blake who smiles when she feels her eyes on him. “Hi.” She says shyly. 

“Hey.” He replies taking his eyes off the road for a brief moment. 

“Did my dad give you a hard time?” 

“Not really. He was just being a dad, I get it.” 

“He can be a little too controlling sometimes.” Gwen says, her head still turned his way as he keeps his eyes on the road. They had just left Anaheim behind. 

“Remember at prom?” He turns to look at her for a moment and she nods, “It’s just the same as then. I’m still the guy that’s taking their daughter to the dance or away for a few days in this case.” He explains calmly, “I know it’s me and all but I think, as a dad, it’s what he has to do.” 

“I guess.” She stares outside the window as they let the music take over them. When the comes to an end, Gwen looks at him again, “I have never met your dad.” She watches him frown, “I mean it’s fine. Just an observation.”

“I saw him a month ago. He’s back in Oklahoma.” 

“You never talk about him much.”

Blake runs a hand through his hair and sighs, “He just... He hasn’t been a big part of the last ten years of my life. Not because he screwed up or anything but my mum wanted to leave Oklahoma because everywhere she looked she saw Richie.” He looks at her for a brief second and then back to the road, “And even though they tried for a year, the loss of my brother was too much and they separated. Mum, Endy and I moved here and my dad decided to stay back.” 

She slips her leg under the other and fully turns her body to him, “I don’t want to- I mean...” he slows down and looks at her for a longer while, “I am so  _ so _ sorry you lost your brother but I ended up meeting you and for that I’ll be forever grateful.” 

“I totally get what you mean.” He reassures her and she half smiles at him, “And I feel the same way.” He checks on the rearview mirror to see that they are alone on the road so he slows down until the car is barely moving and leans over to peck her lips playfully. He leans away a few centimeters and then leans in again, this time lingering a little bit until they hear a horning sound go off and he pulls away immediately to see a car coming closer to them. Blake chuckles as he presses down the gas pedal as Gwen tilts her head back laughing. Once her laugh dies, her left hand reaches up to play with the short hairs on his nape and he giggles at her gentle touch. 

“I love your hair.” She says after a minute of just music breaking the silence. “And your stubbly face.” His cheeks twitch up and he slightly turns his head to look at her, “You were cute and now you’re full on handsome.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere, darlin’.” His free hand moves to her thigh to trace doodles.

“Yeah?” She smirks at him intertwining her fingers with his on her lap. 

“To the moon and back.” 

“I just wanna know where we’re going.” He chuckles and brings their hands up to his mouth to chastely kiss her hand. 

“Let me surprise you.” He looks her way for a brief moment and then back on the road. “You will like it for sure.” 

 

She figures they’re going to San Francisco about an hour later and Blake smiles at how proud she feels for having figured it out. They stop at a small village by by the side of the road when his stomach growls and a few minutes later hers does as well. As soon as they get outside of the car he reaches for her hand and they make their way inside the dinner. 

“My treat.” He says when they sit down on a booth by the huge window from there they can see the truck. 

“I’m not going to let you pay for everything.” She shakes her head as she opens the menu. “I have an idea.” 

“Care to share it with the class?” He asks touching his feet to hers under the table. 

“You pay one day and I pay the next. Sounds fair?”

Blake presses his lips together and scratches his stubbly cheek, “Sounds fair.”

  
  
  


They have lunch talking about the next few days. Blake tells her that he had planned a day and a half in San Francisco and then Las Vegas or the Grand Canyon. Gwen went for the second since she really wanted to spend some time outdoors. He agreed and told her that he had camping tend to sleep in one of the nights at the Grand Canyon. When the subject shifted to No Doubt he got lost in her stories and how excited she was for the international tour. She had named cities that Blake didn’t know where to place in a world map and she had laughed along, saying that she’d get him a postcard from every city they’d stop at. 

After lunch, Gwen offered to drive and he gladly let her. He had kept his hands to himself for an hour but as they were approaching San Francisco, Blake’s left hand found it’s way to her thigh, where he started to doodle on her jean earning a giggle from her 

“What?” He asks letting his head rest on the the headrest. 

“Nothing.”

“What’s on that mind of yours?” He tries again. “You forgot I am your best friend and I can read you like a book.” She turns her head to look at him for a brief moment as her face breaks into a breathtaking smile. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispers reaching out to put a strand of her, now blonde hair, behind her ear as she keeps her eyes on the road but leans her head softly against his hand when it lingers on the side of her face. 

“Who-“ she starts but closes her mouth again. 

“Gwen.” He says softly, “You can ask me anything.” He watches her press her lips together and look down for a second. 

“Have you dated someone after Helen?” The question takes him completely off guard. It’s not that he didn’t want to talk about it but it was an awkward subject. 

He shakes his head. “When she left for London, I just...” his hand covers his face and he sits back properly. “It didn’t hurt. I said goodbye and that was it, my heart didn’t shatter and I didn’t share a tear.” He says looking straight ahead at the city starting to appear. “I loved her, I did. But it just-“ his head shifts to look at her, “I am happy I met her and she made me very happy for a while but she didn’t-“

“Get your butterflies flying or your cheeks hurting from smiling too much.” She cuts him off. Blake stares at her and just nods. He had wanted to say that, maybe using different words, but that was it. 

“Yeah.” He breathes out, “So what I am trying to say here is that no, I haven’t dated. I focused mainly on music and sometimes I think I get too obsessed but it’s my getaway you know? I write about you. I fall in and out of love with you in lyrics I then let some other person sing for a living.” He explains looking at her side profile as she drives. He watches as she sucks in a breath and slows down a little bit when he starts to talk about songwriting. 

“What do you write about?” 

“What I wish we had. What we used to do.” 

“Which ones do you keep to yourself?” She asks looking his way for a moment. 

He chuckles and reaches out for her free hand, “I’ll show you later. I know a spot in San Francisco that you’ll love. First let's go drop the bags and then I’ll sing to you.” A big smile appears in her features as she also squeezes his hand. 

  
  


When they get to the youth hostel Blake had gotten a room at, he stops on his feet as the automatic doors open before him. He looks at his side to find her questionably looking up at him. He looks around to see no one on the outside entrance so he moves aside in case someone wants to step in or out and Gwen follows him. He places his guitar on the floor and runs a hand through his hair.

“What’s wrong?” She asks.

“Do you get recognized?” He asks directly, “I just… Maybe- shit, Gwen.” She chuckles loudly and lets lets go of her bag to crash against this chest. His hands come up around her as he stumbles a little bit. “What’s so funny?” His hands come up to caress her hair. 

“You.”

“What about me?”

“You get stressed so easily it’s actually cute.” Her chin rests against his chest as her head tilts up to meet his blue eyes. “I do get recognized sometimes.” When she hears him whisper a  _ fuck  _ she squeezes him closer to her so that their bodies are fully touching. “Don’t worry about it. It happens every once in awhile.”

“What about paparazzis?” 

Gwen presses her lips together, “Thankfully not many, and I’ve had my hair pink for a few months so it will take a while for them to realize I’m back to blonde again.” He sighs, “Don’t think about it, let’s just enjoy this. You and I.” 

His cheeks twitch up as his dimples also pop on his face making his eyes shine, “I can do that.” He then lets go of her, but takes her hand and they walk inside to check in. 

Gwen decides to stay aside and keep the bags as Blake gets the paperwork done. When he gets the card keys for the room and a map of the city he walks up to Gwen and together they make the way up their bedroom. 

When he opens the door he lets her walk in first as she wows at the room and later at the cute view of the street from the window. Blake stops dead on his feet when he takes a look around and his eyes fall on the two single separated beds. He sneakily tries to push one to see if they’ll be able to join them and make one bed, but when the bed doesn’t move, he silently groans.  _ Glued to the floor. Great _ . 

He frowns and closes his eyes. He had forgotten to ask the bedroom characteristics. He covers his face and groans loudly. “What?” Gwen turns around to face him and lets out a laugh when she fast figures out what’s wrong. 

“Someone up there hates me.” He lets himself fall on one of the beds and covers his face with the pillow. Gwen chuckles but then falls to his side and uncovers his face. 

“I think we fit pretty good in one bed.” She teases tracing his jawline. When he laughs she pokes his dimple and then Blake turns on his side to face her. 

“Hi.” He whispers letting his hand caress her shoulder. 

“Hi, you.”

“Can you believe we’re here?” 

“It took us some years, huh?” She moves closer and places her hand on his stubbly cheek. There’s a minute of silence in which the only audible sound is the air coming in and out of their lungs. His hand falls on her waist and hers stays on his face, “Thank you.” She whispers leaning in to peck his lips firmly. 

“For what?” 

“Organizing this.”

“Anything for you, you know that.” 

  
  


They get their pj’s out and leave them on the same bed. Gwen gets her “girly stuff”, as Blake calls it, on the self on the bathroom and he just places his toilet bag hanging off the door. Taking a coat, and Blake also his guitar, they leave the room and walk to the elevator since they are in the 8th floor. Once they are inside, Blake shows her a cap and she frowns. “It’s a camo cap, this way no one will see you.” He explains letting out a little laugh as he waves the, indeed brown and dark green cap, in the air. 

“You’re something else.” She chuckles and takes the cap and puts it on. He smiles proudly when she looks his way and he sees her smile under the visor. He also puts his on and Gwen cuddles into him as soon as the door opens. He puts his hand around her shoulders and together they walk outside to the car. He places his guitar on the boot and then jumps inside. 

  
  


They drive up a hill where there is a small park and some people sitting around. It’s big enough to not feel crowded and when she realizes that she can see the Golden Gate Bridge, she squeals and pulls him with her to run to see all of it. 

“Wow.” She breathes out letting go of him. 

“Incredible, huh?” He bounces on his feet and places the guitar on the floor. 

“Wow!” She repeats again. “When I was in San Francisco for a concert we didn’t even have time to see anything. This is so beautiful!” 

“I remember that you always wanted to see the bridge from a higher spot.” He turns to look at her as she tilts her head up to meet his sparkly blue eyes. 

“I’m surprised you actually listened to me.” Her smile fades a bit and she looks down to her feet. 

“Of course I did. I based this trip on everything you wanted to do back in the day.” Her head shots up again and Blake draws a soft smile on his face when his eyes meet her chocolate circles again. “I listened and I still am.” She steps on her tiptoes and brushes her lips against his for a brief moment but Blake has other plans. His hands come to her waist and he tugs her in close until she fits perfectly under his chin. Slowly, he traces a path up her body, through her arms and over her shoulders to then place his palms on her cheeks and tilt her head up. His lips land on hers a little hungrier than she had expected but she won’t complain. Not one bit. She smiles against his parted lips and then expertly bites down his lower lip and tugs on his curls earning a moan from him, which causes her to giggle against his mouth. His tongue traces her lower lip and then enters her mouth hungrily and demanding. He seems to lose control over his hands as they travel down to her jean line and one cups her ass making their lower parts grind against the other. He takes her upper lip between his and she melts onto him like ice-cubes in a warm sunny day. 

When they separate, his forehead rests against hers as two matching grins appear on their faces. “It felt like we were back in our spot in Anaheim.” Her hands fall on his waist as he kisses her forehead and nods. 

“And we were eighteen again.” He adds. “Only we are better at _this_.” He pecks her lips again and then sits down and pats the spot on his side for her to sit too. “And you look as beautiful.” 

Her arm touches his when she takes a seat, and when he speaks, she leans over to peck his cheek. “I really like the stubble.” 

“Makes me look less of a baby.”

“Still a babe, though.” He grins down at her and then opens the guitar case. 

  
  


He plays a few chords to make sure the guitar is tuned and when it is he looks at her and raises his eyebrows. “Play me one you have kept to yourself.” 

“Sure?” He asks and Gwen nods twice in excitement. “Here it goes.” He clears his throat, “This is  _ Man Enough Now _ .” She nods and sits crossed legged in front of him to have a better view. When the soft instrumental part begins, she’s already into it. She had always had a soft spot for people that played an instrument and even more the guitar. There was just something about the soothing sounds it made and how elegant it was, that just drown her into it. Soon enough his soft voice begins and if she was drawn into it before now she’s the Titanic sinking into the water which in this case is Blake. She wows at how much he had improved. He used to shy away before, now he uses all of his voice. 

  
  


_ I was scared, I wasn't quite ready yet _

_ Didn't want to let my freedom get _

_ Too far away so I would say anything _

_ To keep you just close enough _

_ Like I need a little space to breathe _

_ A little time for me to think _

_ I just need you to wait for me _

_ But you weren't waiting for me _

 

He looks up to find her eyes glued to his face and a soft smile playing on her lip gloss free lips.

  
  


_ To grow up, get my shit together _

_ Stop giving you the runaround, running from forever _

_ It's too bad we happened when we did _

_ 'Cause I've learned a lot about life since then _

_ I can't go back, girl I hate that _

_ You fell in love with a kid trying to figure it out _

_ 'Cause I'm man enough now _

  
  


_ I guess it's something that every boy’s gotta do _

_ Getting so close to letting it slip through _

_ Your fingers yeah, you gotta learn the hard way _

_ Once you do you start to look back on _

_ All the things that you should've, would've, could've done _

_ Bet you never thought that I would _

  
  


_ Grow up, get my shit together _

_ Stop giving you the runaround, running from forever _

_ It's too bad we happened when we did _

_ 'Cause I've learned a lot about life since then _

_ I can't go back, girl I hate that _

_ You fell in love with a kid trying to figure it out _

_ 'Cause I'm man enough _

  
  


_ To push my pride out of the way _

_ Make a girl like you wanna stay _

_ It took a while for me to come around _

_ But I am man enough now _

  
  


_ I grew up, got it all together _

_ I stopped running from forever _

_ It's too bad we happened when we did _

_ 'Cause I've learned a lot about life since then _

_ I can't go back, girl I hate that _

_ You fell in love with a kid trying to figure it out _

_ So if one more chance is something that you ever think about _

_ I'm man enough now _

_ I'm man enough now _

 

Once he looks up right after the first verse he doesn’t look away. It’s like their eyes are magnets because she doesn’t tear them away from him either. He watches as her face changes through the song; how she nods at his lyrics but also shakes her head multiple times when there’s something she doesn’t agree with. When he plays the last chords, she sucks in a breath and just stares at him as she presseses her lips together to fight the tears threatening to escape her eyes. 

She opens her mouth to speak but closes it again. “You don’t have to say anything.” He says hugging his guitar close to his body. “I actually wrote this one the last christmas we saw each other. I went back to Nashville and realized how much of a kid I was and how wrong it had been to leave Anaheim.” She tries to say something but he asks to continue and she grants it, “I came to the conclusion that yeah, I had been wrong but like I said, it’s something I felt I had to do. I had to miss you and  _ fuck _ everything up to grow up and realize that all I ever wanted is...” he looks down to his intertwined fingers and then back up at her, “you.” He sighs, puts his guitar aside and runs a hand through his hair, “The kid you fell in love with is still there but he won’t leave now. And if he leaves he will come back because life is more than his dreams.” 

“Blake...” her puffy eyes and the way her voice cracks when she calls his name make him move forward. 

“I thought all I wanted was Nashville but it’s been five years and I have accomplished nothing but lost everything.” 

She’s sincerely at the lost for words. A single tear runs free down her cheek and he reaches up to wipe it away before it touches the ground but he’s too late. When he’s about to retrieve his hand back to his side she gets ahold of it and squeezes it between his. “I... Blake. You-“ she breathes out and looks down a little insecure. “You haven’t lost me.” She breathes out staring down at his hand in hers. When she tilts her head up, she comes face to face with a flat and straight look on his face. “Look at me.” She says when his face is up but his eyes are everywhere but in hers. “Blake, please.” She begs scooting over and bringing one hand up to his cheek. To this movement, the songwriter, closes his eyes and softly lets his head lean against her palm. “You always had me and you’ll never lose me.” 

“I feel like I have, and I don’t blame you for succeeding. I love that you’re a star and you inspire people around the world, but at the same time I also wish it was just me and you.” She shakes her head continuously as her hand caresses his face. “I’m sorry, I was so selfish!” He blames himself as his palms smash against the grass at either side of his legs. 

“You weren’t, because sometimes I wish that as well. And, we’ll get there.” She gets ahold of his hand and pulls off a soft smile, “You always say that you’ll wait for me, but I want you to know that I’ll wait for  _ you _ as well.” His forehead lands against hers as he breathes in and out louder than normal. She lets him do, she doesn’t ask questions and doesn’t pressure him to speak either. 

“Remember when we used to play hide and seek and there was one time I couldn’t find you and I almost started to cry?” He asks leaning away a little bit to meet her eyes. She giggles and nods because she remembers that day as if it was yesterday. “That’s what happens when we said goodbye when I left for Nashville. I looked for you everywhere expecting to find you by my side and when I didn’t, I crawled into a ball and cried.” Her hands come up to the sides of his face to show support and understanding. He chuckles at his own story and she lets out a small laugh. 

“I cried too, you know?”

He nods and leans in to peck her nose, “I know.” 

“I only want to make you cry of laughter.” She says thinking that she’s actually sounding a lot like him. “That’s something you’d say.” 

He tilts his head forward to rest it on her shoulder and mumbles, “I was gonna say that.” 

“Blake?” She places her hands on the nape of his neck and squeezes to have him lean away to meet her eyes. “We could give the long distance a shot.” He presses his lips together, “We should at least try. We’re positive it will be too much and we’ll end up hating each other, but we haven’t tried.” 

“Do you really want to?”

“Do  _ you _ ?” She asks. 

His hands come up to the back of his head as a wide smile appears on his face, “I do. Bu-“

“No buts.” She covers his mouth playfully, “We’ll talk about those  _ buts _ if needed. For once let’s not plan our future, let’s just live the present and live it together. Miles away or not.” 

 

After that, they head back to the city where they grab dinner at a sushi place and then take it to their room where they know they’ll be alone and no one will have the opportunity to recognize Gwen. Sitting on the ground, face to face, and their backs leaning on the side of each bed, they quietly eat sushi and noodles out of the take away box. 

“How are we going to sleep? Cos I planned on sleeping next to you these five days and now we’re in a bit of trouble.” She asks putting away the empty box of sushi. 

“Oh, did you?” He teases moving closer to her. 

“Mh-hm.” She nods batting her eyelashes at him. Blake grins and takes the chopsticks to eat some more noodles but then offers them to her. He moves the food closer to her mouth and when she’s about to eat it he leans forward and steals it from her and swallows right in front of her mouth. She leans forward and presses her lips to his forcefully taking Blake completely by surprise. “Don’t do that again!” She teases taking the noodle box away from him. 

“Don’t play with food. Noted.” He checks on the air and then leans in to peck her cheek. There are a few long seconds of silence in which they just finish the noodles. 

“What are the plans for tomorrow?” She asks when she stands up to throw the empty boxes away. 

He turns to her but stays seated, “Get lost in San Francisco.” 

“No maps?” He shakes his head and then rests it on the mattress as she lays on the surface and her head comes to rest next to his. One of her hands travels to his head to play with his inviting curls. 

“If you continue that I’m going to fall asleep and you’ll have to sleep on the floor since you said you planned on sleeping next to me these days.” He says softly as a yawn escapes his mouth. 

“I could sleep anywhere next to you.” 

“My man boobs make a good pillow.” She laughs against his cheek as she was leaning down to press a kiss to his stubble. “Don’t you laugh.” He chuckles and then brings a hand up to her hair. He turns his head and meets her eyes. 

“Man boobs?” She teases. 

Blake touches his chest and smiles, “Got two of ‘em.” 

“You’re so stupid.” She grins against the side of his face, “and hot.”

“No darlin’” He shakes his head and decides to kneel in front of her and rest his elbows on the mattress to see her face to face, “You’re hot.” A wide smile appears on her face as she stares lovingly at him and he stares right back. For a while they just stare at each other and enjoy the silence until Blake speaks again. “So, wanna go to bed? We should get up early tomorrow.” 

She shakes her head and pats her side for him to jump on the bed. He does and then they both turn to face each other. “Sleep is for the weak. We have a lot to catch up on.” 

He grins and nods, “Okay. What do you want to know?”

 

They share work stories and important life events for the past few years. He comments on his graduation and she, again, apologizes for not being there. She explains that she’s attending college fully online since she really doesn’t have time to go to class and she also tells him that she has thought about giving it up since she wants to focus basically on music for the rest of her life. He agrees and encourages her to do whatever feels right. At the end, and as much as she tries to put it off, the Tony subject comes up and he face changes completely. 

“He just… We didn’t want the same things, I guess.” She says covering her face for a brief moment. She sighs and continues, “So I broke it off and he wasted no time in flash his single life in front of my eyes.” 

“What an ass.” Blake grunts closing his eyes and hitting the mattress. 

“It’s hard to see him constantly and it’s not the same, not even to when we were just friends. And I don’t hate him,” Blake raises his eyebrows, “I don’t.”

“I would.”

“You never liked him, as much as you said you did.”

“The bastard got to kiss you first.” He pouts. 

“And Monica got to kiss you first.” She adds softly hitting his chest. “At the end it’s not the first that matters, it’s the last.” 

He leans over to kiss her as soon as the words are out of her mouth. He presses his lips against hers and positions himself on top of her. They let loose for a while, as they kiss and kiss on the covers and clothed. Her hands come up to his curls and his stay on her sides where they travel up and down feeling her bra under his palms. She pulls away and opens her eyes to finds his closed. She admires his moment of calmness and quietness and as soon as his eyes shot open she rubs her nose against his. 

“The last time we were like this I didn’t know what to do with my hands.”

“They did shake a bit.” The singer adds teasing him. There’s an almost awkward silence in which Blake stares down at her as he bites his lip and she just observes how his features change as he thinks. “What are you thinking about?”

“How much everything has changed.” His lips press on her cheek as one of his legs come between hers to not crash her completely. 

“I don’t think things have changed much actually.” Her hands on each side of his face make him meet her eyes, “We have grown up a bit and we make somewhat rational decisions now, but I think we’re still the same.” 

“You still make me nervous, that’s for sure.” 

“And you still make me the happiest.” She comes up to crash her lips against his and suddenly it’s like everything changes and the world stops. There is something about how her lips expertly hover over his and how her nails massage his scalp that have him on cloud nine and losing a bit of control. His hands bravely sneak under her shirt and she grins against his mouth as she bites down his lower lip playfully. 

His shirt goes off first, followed by her jeans. He looks up and she nods, no words needed. His fingers tease her centre through the black material of her panties and she grabs the covers of the bed when he slides her underwear off and fully touches her with his fingertips. His mind goes back to five years ago when he had been so nervous to look at her naked. Now he feels more or less the same, but with a little more confidence. She still has her shirt on but he plans on going slow and worship all of her and _ what if it takes the whole night? _ He thinks.  _ The night is young.  _

“Bla-“ Her moan get muffled when his mouth covers hers and his name dies on her lips. “Fuck.” He smirks down at her when he pulls away a little bit and retires his hand from her clit to give her a moment. She unbuckles his belt and he helps her slide the jeans off as he stands up to make things easier. Her decides to pull the covers down and when he lays over her, he covers them up, and kisses her again. 

“Under these sheets there are no worries.” He whispers, “I got you.”

She hugs him close and kisses him again as he battles to take off her shirt. He throws it aside and then stares down at her bra, “I assume you know how to unhook it now, huh?”

He lets out a laugh and takes her upper lip between his, “Yep.” He says and then, expertly and with just one hand, he takes it off of her. He also throws it somewhere and leans down to attach her lips again. “Is it weird that I am as nervous as the first time?” He pulls away to meet her eyes in the dark. She shakes her head and kisses his chest and then pulls him down to her completely. 

“I don’t think it’s nerves between you and I.”

“What is it then?”

“You know how when something feels right you get a funny sensation in your stomach? And you cannot stop smiling and you feel all giddy.” He nods kissing her upper cheek, “I think that’s it and maybe a little bit of nerves as well.”

“You always know what to say.” He comments quietly before his hand travels back between her legs again. He teases for a while until she throws him a look he knows all too well. Letting out a little laugh, Gwen catches him completely off guard when she rolls them over but end up on the floor. 

“Shit!” He burst out laughing when his back hits the floor and he feels everything spin around for a second. 

“How did you get single beds?” She asks letting her head rest on his welcoming chest as they take a few seconds to feel okay again. 

“I just assumed a bedroom for two would have a queen size bed at least.” He says between laughs, “I hate myself.” 

“No,” She pulls away to meet his eyes and her hands come to frame his face, “This is fun.” His mouth catches hers as he sits up and her centre lands on his making him groan and moan out her name. “The question is, why are you still wearing boxers?” Her teasing tone wakes up all the cells of his body. His electric blue eyes look down and he shrugs.

“I don’t know.” 

“Can I?” She ask and he replies with nod. 

Gwen grins at him and attacks his mouth as his hand finds its way to her centre again. His nose against hers, he just opens his eyes and she closes her eyes and opens them again. His fingers slip inside of her and he lets go of every bit of self control he had left. She seems to do the same because her mouth travels down his neck to bite the skin of his shoulder. He groans out in pleasure, fully knowing that she has left a mark that he won’t complain about. He retrieves his fingers and then teases her entrance with the tip of his dick making Gwen breath in and out loudly. He leans back down and brings her to him. 

 

She aligns him into her entrance and when she leans down to kiss him and take the air out of his lungs, Blake pushes deep inside making her moan against his smiley lips. He grins against her mouth and slowly starts to create a rhythm that has both of them kissing lips and skin they find to mumble the screams and the deep moans. When he feels she’s close enough, he hugs her close to his chest and increases the rhythm until she falls apart in his arms and he does too a few seconds later. The only thing that breaks the silence the following minute is the sound of them breathing in and out deeply. Chests pressed together and intertwined legs, they catch their breaths until their hearts start to beat normally again and they are able to let out some words. 

“Holy... wow!” He says kissing her temple as she lays on top of him. He reaches up on the mattress and gets the covers when she shivers and sinks her head in his neck. “It’s safe to assume we’re better at this now, huh?” She nods against his neck and drops a kiss on his warm skin. 

“How did we live without this for 5 year?” She asks with a giggle playing on her lips as she looks down at him, her hands at either side of his head. 

“See it this way, now we have the whole future to make up for lost time.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! You guys rock! :)


	10. Opportunities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been a while but I had a huge writer's block. Thank you Jo for helping me out :)
> 
> I hope you like it!

They spend the next day on the road. They get lunch in a small village they find along the way and then continue their journey to the Grand Canyon. Seeing that it’s getting late and that they will probably not make it to place, they decide to sleep in a motel and then continue in the morning. Tired from driving the whole day, they head to bed and start again the morning after with Gwen driving this time.

Blake turns on the radio and for a while they just enjoy the music and the comments the host makes when each song comes to an end. About two hours later they stop at a gas station and grab a snack for the road since they had decided on not stopping for dinner and arrive at the hotel at the Grand Canyon before it got too late.

 

The next morning they get breakfast in their room and then they get ready for a full day out. When the night falls, they share a beer looking at the stars from a higher point near the hotel but further enough to avoid as much light as possible. She asks him about work and his future plans. “I’m just writing now.” His eyes are locked on the sky, he doesn’t turn to look at her, not even from the corners of his eyes. Gwen frowns and sits up to look down at him. When she raises his eyebrows at him, Blake smiles, “What?”

“Don’t you aspire to something more?” She asks a little too direct.

“Of course, but this is all I can do right now.” She shakes her head and looks away. He frowns and sits up, “What?”

“Are you…” She presses her lips together and sighs, “Are you even trying to do more?”

“What does that even mean?”

“You used to fight so hard for what you believed in and now you’re just content with writing. That is fine, but Blake, you have a wonderful voice and you’re an incredible guitar player.”

“I play at a café sometimes.”

“From your voice tone I can feel that’s not enough and you know it.” She comments reaching out to take his hand, “What are you not telling me?” She asks softly this time.

Blake sighs and looks down at their linked hands. He moves closer and presses his lips on her forehead and then meets her eyes in the dimmed night, “I audition for positions in bands sometimes and it worked for a while, I told you that.”

“Why did you stop then?” Her hand comes up to his cheek when he looks down again. She wants to meet his eyes, not his hair.

“I didn’t.” He whispers still keeping his head down. His hand travels up to hers on his cheek and then he tilts his head up to lock eyes with hers, “I…”

“What?”

“There’s this new country singer from Australia in Nashville and he’s starting to get known.” He explains tentatively, “I auditioned to be on Garth Brooks band and that didn’t work out, but,” Gwen’s eyes widen at the _but_ and a soft smile appears on his face, “this Aussie needed a band leader slash second voice guy,” Gwen nods and he looks down, “I turned it down.”

“You did _what_ now?”

“I tur-“

“Why?”

“Why?” He asks sarcastically. “To be here with you.”

Gwen’s mouth shapes a little O as she looks down and then shakes her head letting go of his hand. She stands up and paces the floor as Blake stays seated looking at her curiously.

“Why would you do that?” She abruptly turns around to ask him. “Are you crazy?”

Blake lets out a little laugh and then also stands up, “I am not. I wanted to have these days with you. We already postponed this trip years ago, I didn’t want to cancel it again.”

“Blake,” She starts more gentle, “This could have been your Red Hot Chilli Peppers, the little push you need to get the recognition you deserve.” He shakes his head continuously as she talks. “Why are you so negative about it? These people see your potential and here you are taking yourself down!”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“What do I not get?”

He huffs and turns around to breath in and out loudly, “I turned it down to be here with you, Gwen, because this right here,” he explains turning around to face her again, “is important to me. I told you last night, I’m all in and taking this position would mean being all out and I made that mistake five years ago. I won’t do it again.”

She presses her lips together and then bites down her upper lip while she puts her hand on her hips, “I want you to take it. You deserve it.” There is a moment of silence in which Blake gathers his thoughts, “I’m going to be in Europe for two months either way and we said that we’d try the whole distance thing. It doesn’t matter if you’re in Nashville or performing in Vancouver or even Australia if this guy’s from there. We’ll still be apart.” She takes a step forward and stands before him, “Please, take it. _Please.”_ He opens his mouth to say something but closes it again. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “We can drive all night and make it to Nashville before noon.” He shakes his head, “Why not?”

“This was supposed to be our getaway. I don’t want to cancel it at day two.” He explains putting his arms on her shoulders.

“You’re not canceling, we’re just changing the route a little bit.” She grins and steps on her tiptoes to brush her lips on his cheek, “Let me do this for you.”

“I... No, Gwen. I want to be here, I don’t want to be the second guy. I did that and I’m still no one. I like writing and performing at the café,” Gwen frowns at him and he draws a soft smile on his face, “I do, trust me.”

“But Bla-“ his lips quiet her ever so softly and he melts against his mouth letting out a quiet moan when he bites down her lower lip playfully.

“I want to be here.” He says pecking her lips between words. “I will actually get to write with a semi important guy next week so that could be my Red Hot Chilli Peppers.” He explains when he leans away but keeps one of his hands on her cheek where his thumb rubs her skin.

“That’s good.”

“It really is.”

They lay down again, but this time her head rests on his beating heart. After a few minutes of complete silence, Gwen speaks up, “You will get the recognition you deserve, I’m completely sure.” She feels him inhale when his chest grows and them sigh when he breathes out. “Either for your writing or singing skills. Or both.”

He lets out a little laugh and puts a strand of her blonde hair aside. His hand comes up around her shoulders and he hugs her closer as possible. His nose sinks in her hair and she giggles.

“I love you.” He whispers against the skin of her neck. Gwen freezes and stops giggling abruptly. Her hands grip his jacket and a soft smile starts to appear on her face. “I never stopped.”

She tilts her head up and her eyes land on his stubbly chin. She moves away from his arms and sits right next to his body and looks down to meet his eyes. For a few seconds her eyes just roam his face; his dimpled cheeks, his blue eyes (even in the dark) and the most dazzling smile on his face. His eyebrows shoot up and he lets out a nervous laugh as he leans up to a sitting position as well. “I needed you to know and it’s okay if you don’t say it back now, I know it can be hard after everything you’ve been through with Tony.” She frowns and Blake elaborates, “ _Don’t Speak_ came on the radio one day and that was when I knew I had to get tickets to your concert in Nashville.” She links her hands on her lap and lowers her gaze. The quietness says a lot more than words ever will and it breaks him that she’s kind of insecure about love and stability. He plans on turning it around though, he’ll do anything in his power to make her happy again.

 

After three days of laughing, getting lost and finding their way again in the Grand Canyon and surroundings, they make their way back to Anaheim where they say goodbye for a little while. Blake has to get back to work the next Monday and she has rehearsals for the european tour.

  


She leaves for Europe at the beginning of February after spending some days in Nashville with Blake. Rumors had started flying around about Gwen Stefani’s new love but there had just been a blurry picture of two shadows holding hands so the gossip channels had dropped it quite fast and turned their to another victim. Promising to keep in touch and a million kisses and tears later, Blake lets go or her hand and she disappears to the right ready to board the plane.

The time difference is also hard and even though he promises to pick up the phone at anytime, two weeks in when the phone rings at 2am he doesn’t even bother. He needs his good night sleep. They discuss it and figure out that his morning and her afternoon are the moments they have a little time to just “be” with each other, so she tells stories and he listens and then shares a bit of his life as well. He asks lots of questions and each passing day he starts to realize how little she actually asks. He shakes his thoughts aside and tries to come up with a few jokes to get her laughing.

  


“I’m in Barcelona right now.” She says from the other side of the line, “It’s so beautiful and everyone’s so friendly. The view from the hotel is breathtaking and we have a dinner date later with some people in a restaurant on top of some building with-“

“Gwen-“ he cuts her off, “It’s not that I don’t want to hear about all of this but I told you I had an important meeting yesterday and you haven’t even asked how it went.” He sounds cold and distant. He hears her move around and then take breath in, “It would be nice if you asked me stuff as well.”

“I do.”

“Right.” He bluffs letting his body fall on the mattress.

“Wow...” She says sarcastically.

“I just wish you were as interested in knowing about me as I am about you.” He closes his eyes and runs a hand through his face and hair.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice breaks the silence, “I...” She sighs, “Tell me about it, please. I know you were nervous.”

“I miss you.” He says out of the blue, “This is hard. When do you have a break?”

“After Barcelona, actually.”

“Are you coming back home?”

"I don't know. The guys wanted to do a little road trip around Europe. I might join them." The excitement in her voice makes him want to be happy for her but he just can't. He misses her so bad and they did talk about when they had breaks they'd meet up, home, Nashville or Blake even talked about going to Europe himself.

"Oh, okay." That is all that comes out of his mouth. He questions himself why he's not even fighting her decision but he just shakes his head and closes his eyes taking the pillow and putting it over his face.

"I know we talked about the possibility of me flying back when I got a break but I really want to explore now that I have a few days off."

"I could fly over." He says quietly wishing it woke something up in her.

"What about your job?"

"I could ask for a few days off. All I do is work, I'm sure I have days saved up." An almost awkward silence takes over them as Gwen thinks about what to say and Blake just waits for her to reply. "You don't want me to come." It's not a question, it's a statement and it comes out almost as a whisper. He sighs and thinks about hanging up and just crawl into a ball and cry himself to sleep. Just a month ago she was dying to see him and now things are awkward and distant. "Your silence says more than I need. I'll talk to you soon."

He hangs up and indeed lets a rebel tear make its way down his cheek and fall on the covers of his bed. The phone goes off once an twice but he lets it ring.

  
  


Two days later he's in the lounge area at the studio when Graham walks in.

"Hey buddy!" He greets Blake, whose eyes travel from his coffee mug to his friend. "Can I get the song we started yesterday?" The oklahoman songwriter nods.

"The notebook's inside the guitar case."

"I know." Blake draws a little smile and goes back to his coffee.

Silence takes over again as Gwen comes to his mind again only to be cut off by a loud _what the hell_ from a voice he rapidly recognizes. "Blake!" Graham comes running back to the small coffee room to find his friend where he left him. "What is this?" Blake frowns.

"What?" He asks when he sees nothing but his green notebook on his friend's hand.

"I got the notebook and this," He says bringing his other hand up holding a picture Blake knows was inside the spiral book, "Fell on the floor."

"Graham..." Blake stands up and walks up to his friend almost shyly.

"You know Gwen Stefani?" He tilts his head up to meet Blake's eyes and the plaid wearing songwriter looks down and walks back to the window where he had put down his steamy cup of coffee. "Dude, what the _fuck?"_ The No Doubt fan looks down at the picture and presses his lips together. A very happy Blake has his arms around her as his lips pressed on her forehead. Her eyes are closed and she nuzzles her nose in his neck with the Golden Gate Bridge on the background.

"Graham..." Blake breathes out almost in an exhausted tone, "I really don’t want to..." He runs a hand through his hair and breathes in loudly. "I do know her."

"Care to explain how? And why you haven't said anything about it?" Blake opens his mouth to speak but closes it again when Graham speaks again, "I'm assuming you more than know her and you have for a while."

The country songwriter sighs and slowly turns to look at his friend. He takes a step forward and sits on the arm of the couch. "I've known Gwen since we were fourteen."

"What?" Graham asks in a high pitched voice that has Blake letting out a laugh.

"I'll tell you everything if you let me talk. Questions later, okay?" Graham nods quietly. "We went to school together." Blake watches Graham try to keep everything inside and he giggles a bit. "She lived a few houses down and when I moved from Oklahoma to Anaheim she was the first to welcome me and we've been best friends ever since." Blake tears his eyes away from Graham for a moment and runs his hands up and down his thighs, "I was there when No Doubt started, I watched her grow as an artist, from background vocals to the huge star she is right now. I was there all the way."

“Wow.” Graham breathes out sitting at the other end of the small couch. “You’re best friend’s with Gwen Stefani.”

Blake draws a smile on his face and nods reaching out to take the picture from Graham, who happily hands it over. The stubbly guy stares down at the polaroid picture and presses his lips together when he observes how happy they look. Her nose buried in his neck, his lips on her forehead and their arms wrapped around the other. He sighs and closes his eyes, “We’re actually in a relationship.” Blake says almost in a whisper tone. Graham decides to stay quiet and let his friend elaborate when he sees Blake run a hand through his hair and spin on this feet to face him again. “I haven’t seen her in a month and I swore we could make it work but I just... I don’t know if I can keep going like this.”

“Dude she’s Gwen Stefani, are you crazy?”

Blake chuckles, “I know that, but to me she’s Gwen, always has and even though she’s this big star, she’s my girlfriend and I miss her.”

“She’s in Europe.” Blake nods, “How long?”

“One more month.”

Graham huffs and stays quiet for a moment. Blake links his hands and looks down to his boots as Graham turns to look at him. “I don’t know her but I do know you. I watched you with Helen and you were happy.” Blake nods, “But the look on your face, and hers even, in this polaroid picture screams so much more than I ever saw with you and Helen.” Blake takes a look at the picture and softly smiles, “You know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words?” Blake spins his head towards Graham, “Don’t give up.”

  


He hadn’t given up. Not seeing each other for two full months had been hard but they had made it through. He had driven to Anaheim on Friday and hadn’t even went home first, he went directly to Gwen’s, who was already waiting for him on the porch. She runs and crashes onto him as soon as he hops off the car. He hadn’t even had time to close the door before her arms are around him and he loses his balance and falls on the passenger's seat. He laughs against her lips and _ouches_ when something sharp collides with his back. Her kiss is just what he needs and he won’t let anything come between her lips and his.

“Pinch me, I think I’m dreaming.” She murmurs when she leans away a little bit and opens her eyes to find his already open and on her.

“Do you dream about this?” He teases leaning down to trace a path of kisses down her neck.  

“All the time.” She moves away from him and offers her hand for him to take so he can stand up. When he closes the door as she’s on him again, this time to hug him as close as possible. Her head lands on his beating heart and she believes she has never felt so safe. All the lonely nights and shared tears in the darkness of her room hurt like hell but there is nothing like being in his arms again. Blake presses his lips on her hair and closes his eyes for what feels like a lifetime. They just enjoy the moment in silence until her mother comes out and interrupts the comfortable quietness with her characteristic voice tone and laugh.

  


That same weekend, while they are laying around in her couch watching a movie, Gwen gets the news that _Don’t Speak_ has been nominated for a Grammy. Her parents are sitting nearby and so are Todd and Jen, but when she puts the phone down, she turns to look at Blake, who has a big toothed smile playing on his lips and his eyebrows raised. She bites down her lower lip, closes her eyes for a brief moment and then puts her arms around him, “You did it.” The songwriter whispers against her head as her family watches their interaction in silence. “You did it, Gwen! See? I was right all along.” He says cockily to make her laugh, and she does. When she leans away he spots her watery eyes and bright grin from ear to ear starting to appear on her face.

“We haven’t won yet.” She assures him as his hands comes up to frame her face gently.

“You will.”

Not even remembering about her family nearby, Gwen leans in and presses her lips to his chastely. They sure had been touching around their families but they had never really kissed in front of them before, so when Gwen realizes what she has done she giggles against his mouth and leans away finally looking at her family, who immediately congratulate her. She keeps her hand on his the whole time, because he is her rock, and she feels like if she holds on to him nothing can go wrong.

  
  


He leaves back to Nashville two days later and two weeks go by before he has time to go back home again for a long weekend. She ends up being more busy than she had imagined, so they do not see each other much at the end.

“I drive for a day to see you. You said you were free and it’s Saturday afternoon and I’m just now seeing you. I got here yesterday.” He runs his hands through his curls as he paces the floor of his dining room.

“I know, I am sorry. The label called and I couldn’t cancel. It’s my job, you know?”

Blake sighs and stops walking, “I know.” He breathes out almost exhausted, “I know.”

“But?” He raises his eyebrows questionably. “I sense a but.”

“No but.” Now _she_ raises her eyebrows, “It’s just-“ she chuckles because she knew he was keeping it inside, “I sometimes cancel on work and-“

“You can write from anywhere.” She cuts him off.

“Right,” he huffs and slips his hands inside his pockets, “I’m just a songwriter.” He sits on the arm of the couch and tilts his head down to avoid her eyes.

“I don’t mean it like that.” Her soft voice walks closer as she sits right next to him on the couch. Her hand comes up to cover his on his lap as the other travels up to his chin to align his eyes with hers, “You know I don’t mean it like that. Yes, you are a songwriter, but you are one hell of a songwriter.” A soft smile appears on her face which has his cheeks twitching up as well. “You’re so incredible and I am an idiot.” He shakes his head and slides down the arm of the couch to sit next to her. Gwen chuckles when he ends up falling on her but she brings her arms around him and squeezes when he makes a move to stand up to not crash her. Her lips land on his and all the worries wash away as he melts against her. His hands immediately make their way under her shirt and she grin against his mouth.

“You know,” he begins softly, “Living at my mum’s sucks because she could walk through the door anytime and we don’t want things to be awkward, do we?” A smirk appears on his face as he leans down to peck her nose playfully. Gwen giggles and starts to unbutton his shirt. They get lost on each other for a long minute until Blake’s alarms go off. “Let’s at least go upstairs.” He pecks her lips once again and then moves away from her to help her stand up. With one quick move, he lifts her up and her legs wrap around his waist as their mouths come together again and Blake starts to make his way up the stairs expertly. They make sure no clothes come off until they close his bedroom door. As soon as the wooden surface shuts, she slides the already unbuttoned shirt down his arms as her lips never leave his. His hands slide down her plaid trousers and then he picks her up to rest her back against the nearest surface, which ends up being his closet. The press of his lower body parts against hers makes her gasp and suck in a breath.

Before they know it, and in a bit of a rush, since his mother had just went out to get take out from the chinese place, he lets her take control. He loves watching her, he could never get tired of her smirk when he expertly moves on her or the way she moans out his name when he slides in the first time and how her tone gets deeper when he increases the rhythm of his strokes. The matching smiles on their faces when they reach the peak and fall apart together is something that will forever stay in their memories. When she decides to throw in an _I love you_ in between and he giggles against her mouth, Gwen smiles and takes his upper lip between hers and runs a hand through his curls.

She believes heaven is as close to perfect as that.

 

He helps her dress up between kisses and then, they innocently open the door and get Blake’s guitar and his notebook in case his mother comes back and finds them in his room.

“You know,” she looks up from the notebook to meet his eyes, “We should open the window, this room smells like sex.” He freezes for a moment and then tilts his head back letting out a full on belly laugh. She admires him for a moment and then joins in the laughing battle. “I’m serious.” She chuckles.

“Remember the first time?” Blake asks when their laughs die. Gwen nods shyly, “You also said that the room smelled like sex.”

“That’s why I said it again.” She moves closer to him and presses her back against the mattress and her shoulder to his. “I remember everything about you and me.”

“Yeah?” She nods.

“You driving around in your bat-mobile.”

“You hated that car.” He says putting on his sweater.

“It took us places, that’s all that mattered.” She opens his wardrobe, grabs a black sweater and slips it on. From his bed, Blake watches her move around as if she were in her bedroom. He smiles when she puts the hoodie on and then zips his up.

“Strawberry smoothie was your favourite.”

“Still is.”

“You said I could maybe become a chef cos I made the best cheeseburgers.” He takes one step closer to her as she leans her back against the wardrobe.

“And you said I’d win a Grammy one day.”

“You’re halfway there.” He takes another step towards her and then stops to stare at her as she looks away from his eyes a little intimidated by all the staring.

“You always believed in me.” She says as her head tilts up slowly.

“I still do.”

“I know.” Now it’s her who takes a step in, “And I believe in you too.” She takes one last step and meets him in the middle of the room. Her hands come up to frame his face and he closes his eyes to the touch, “I know it’s hard but promise me you won’t give up.”

He opens his eyes and leans down to press his lips against her cheekbone, “I won’t give up. I’m finally getting somewhere now.”

“You told me you got to write with this guy... what was his name?"

"Finn." Blake adds.

"He has written a bunch of songs for the big names in country music, huh?” He nods, “Tell me all about it.”

 

  
  
  


**_Two weeks later_ **

 

He’s working at the café downtown where he also plays at sometimes. Tonight is open mic and sometimes, when there’s not a lot of people, he gets to sing a song or two and everyone seems to love his calm tone. Tonight is no different. He doesn’t even take off his apron as he sits on the stool and grabs the guitar sitting on the stand by the mic. He greets the few people in the room on a Wednesday night and starts the one song he has wanted to play for a while now.

“So if you have been here before you know I do cover most of the time, but I am a songwriter, so today I’ll do one of mine. I hope you like it.” He locks eyes with an older woman on the front row and then takes a quick look around the room. He starts the instrumental part and soon his voice joins in to begin _Man Enough Now._

  


He’s preparing a few beers for the table at the back when a female voice interrupts him.

“You said you wrote that?” Blake looks up to find a middle aged woman staring at him curiously.

“Yes ma’am. I did.” He puts the bottle aside and turns his full attention to her. He hadn’t seen her in between the small crowd before.

“What’s your name?”

“Blake.”

The woman offers her hand for him to shake and Blake happily obliges, “I’m Nancy Whiter.” Blake nods at her and pulls off a little smile. “I really liked that song.”

“Thank you.” Blake fidgets with his hands a little intimidated by the small talk.

“I work at a record label associated to Capitol Records.” Blake’s eyes grow wide, “Would you mind coming by to my office... tomorrow?”

Blake thinks fast. He will most definitely have to go there at lunch break because he cannot ask for more days off. “I uhm...”

“I understand if you have to work. Do you have a lunch break?” The young man nods, “How does 12.30 sound?”

“Good, yeah. Perfect.” He shows off a dimpled smile and bounces on his feet. The woman hands him a card and he takes it but waits to read it.

“See you, Blake.”

“Bye-bye. Thank you!” He says and then watches her walk away. When she disappears behind the front door, Blake throws his fists in the air and lets out a quiet _yes!_ accompanied by a huge smile on his stubbly face.

  
  
  


He had talked to Gwen that same night and told her everything about Nancy. The No Doubt frontwoman was very excited for him and asked tons of questions he didn’t even have the answer to.

“It was like a one minute talk but oh my god, Gwen! I’m nervous and excited at the same time.” He says as he prepares himself dinner. He had found a one room apartment that he could afford and even though having no roommates felt lonely at times, he was glad he’d taken that step. He didn’t pay much more than before, and he did work two extra night at the café, so he could afford a few extras or take Gwen on a little road trip from time to time.

“You deserve all of it, you know?” Her soft voice has a silly lovey-dovey smile appearing on his face as he leans against the counter. “I’m so proud.”

“Thanks babe.”

“I love you.” She had breathed out, “Call me tomorrow okay?”

“I will, and I love you more.”

  


Walking into the building, Blake gulps as he looks around. This feels very presidential and serious compared to the small studio he works at. He had put a button-down shirt, his best boots and the denim jacket Gwen had gotten him for Christmas. He makes his way to a big counter at the entrance where he finds a girl more or less his age talking on the phone. He smiles at her and mouths a “no rush” to her. He bounces on his feet as he waits and looks around. A minute later he hears the woman say goodbye to whoever is at the other side of the line and he turns around to face her again.

“Hi, I’m Blake Shelton. I’m here to see Nancy Whiter. She’s expecting me.” He throws a dimpled smile her way and the young woman nods.

“I’ll let her know you’re here.”

He barely waits a minute before Nancy appears through a door and walks up to him. “Thanks for coming, Blake.”

“Thank _you_.”

“We’ll go to my office.” The woman announces and then invites the songwriter to follow her to the room. When they sit down, Nancy looks at him for a few seconds in which Blake doesn’t really know what to do. He rubs his palms and presses his lips making his dimples pop out on his face. “So,” the woman begins, “I apologize if I was a bit straightforward yesterday.”

“No, no it was okay. You just took me by surprise.”

“Well, I actually wanted to talk to you because I know Finn and he told me you were the best songwriter he’d seen in awhile and he’s the very best.” He had had the opportunity to write a song with this guy called Finn who had written songs for Garth Brooks, Reba and Vince Gill. His boss had given him the opportunity and he had taken it and had learnt a lot.

“Did he?” His eyes widen and shine in surprise.

“Yeah.”

Finn was a forty something year old man who knew everyone in the business and even though he had been very nice and welcoming to Blake, the rookie songwriter never thought Finn would talk so highly of him or even remember his name.  “Wow.” He breathes out looking down at his palms on his thighs.

“I want to offer you something.” He looks up again and Nancy continues, “I talked to some people at Capitol and they told me you auditioned to be on Garth Brook’s band and it didn’t work. Then you were offered Keith Urban’s and you turned it down.”

Blake gulps and then nods, “I did.”

“Can I ask why?” Nancy scoops over and places her hands on the table.

Blake opens his mouth and then closes it again. Does he lie or…? He shakes his head. “I chose my girlfriend.” He blurts out as he links his hands when he starts to feel the nerves creep up his spine. “I lost her once when we were just kids and I didn’t want to lose her again.”

He watches Nancy process the information as he stays quiet and almost frozen on the chair, “You’re going to decline my offer as well then.” The songwriter frowns and moves on the chair uncomfortably. “Reba is going on tour and she needs a band leader slash second voice guy. She also has a new record to make and Finn has talked wonders about you to her.” He feels his chest rise and fall and a warm sensation run through his veins. Slowly, a soft smile appears on his face and he meets Nancy’s eyes again. “I’ll give you a week to think about it. Is that okay?”

Blake nods a few times, “Yeah, that’s uhm- good.”

“Let me tell you more about it.” The woman gives him a notebook with all the information he needs but she also explains a few details. It’s a five months on and off tour around the country, when they’re not on tour, they’ll be recording the album so Nancy tells him that he will have to sign a one year contract. Blake listens carefully and gets the notebook he always carries in the inside pocket of his jacket, and a pen to write the details. He feels the excitement start to win him over little by little and when Nancy finishes he fully smiles at her and thanks her for the opportunity.

“You still have my card, right?” The young man nods, “You can call me on that phone regardless what your final decision is.”

“Okay.” She stands up and Blake does too.

“Can I tell you something though?”

“Please.”

“This is huge, Blake. If I were in your shoes I’d take it. It could open so many doors for you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up ;)


	11. Not too good at goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Sara. You're invincible boo, keep shining! Thank you for helping me out with this chapter, I'm so grateful!

She had to do it. For him, for his bright and long future. She had to. Even if that meant shattering hers and his heart to pieces. 

He let her go once, said that there was no stopping her and he had been right. As much as it paints to even agree to it, he had left and everything No Doubt related had gone better, they had gotten the recognition they deserved. Maybe she needs to do the same. Leave. Maybe them being together is anchoring him and he just needs to be set free in order to choose him and not them. 

  
  


Blake had called her that same night he had met with Nancy and had explained everything. Hearing him speak had brought a big smile on her face and she could almost picture the grin on his face as well. He had gone off about everything related to the meeting, the tour, the songwriting and then recording of the album. His excitement had been contagious and she had never felt more proud of anyone in her entire life. 

“Blake, that’s so amazing, baby!” She had thrown in between his fanboying. 

“Reba! She wants me! How crazy is that!?” She had tilted her head back softly chuckling. 

“I knew you could do it! I told you!”

“You have since we met.” He had said softly, “thank you. You believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself.” 

  
  


She had invited him for the weekend at her LA place. Since she was moving around the country so much she had gotten an apartment downtown, but she still went back home sometimes. She smiles as she looks around her comfy place and then sits on the sofa as she watches the minutes go by. He had told her he’d be at her place around 10pm since he was getting out of work at 3pm and had to go home and then to the airport. 

The bell wakes her up around 10.30 o’clock making her jump off of the sofa and sprint to the phone hanging by the door. When she hears his voice saying  _ it’s me  _ she giggles and begins the teasing. 

“Who’s me?” He can picture the smirk on her face which only makes his dimple carve on his face. 

“Well, I am here to see my girlfriend but it appears I pressed the wrong button.” He says leaning against the brick wall. He enjoys the quiet few seconds in which she thinks of a comeback as a soft smile plays on his lips. 

“Oh... well that’s too bad.”

“Yeah...” Blake runs a hand through his hair, “I’ll have to go back to Nashville then.” He huffs and then hears her chuckle and let out a little giggle. 

“Can I convince you to stay?” She pulls of a soft teasing tone that has Blake sighting and fully resting his back against the wall. 

_ This woman. _

“No, thank you. I’m loyal to her.” He says in a more serious tone which has Gwen closing her eyes and drawing a beam on her face. 

“Hi, baby!”

“Hey, gorgeous!” He replies back and then squats down to pick up his bag. “Let me it?”

“Of course!”

 

He fixes himself a sandwich after he settles in for the weekend. They know they only have a few hours but they are ready to make the most of them. Something about this weekend sounds and looks oddly familiar; him leaving, just three days and another goodbye. 

The next morning he makes her pancakes as she heads for the shower. He had just started to get the ingredients when she appears through the bedroom door with just his plaid shirt on. His mouth hangs open as she walks closer and closer to him. The smirk on her face blows him away but the swinging of her hips makes him want to put everything aside and go back to the bedroom and continue their morning activities. 

“Darlin’ you look so beautiful but we really need to eat something before we go back to  _ that _ .” She leans against the counter by his side and gets on her tiptoes to drop a kiss on his dimpled cheek. 

“I’m very hungry-“ she begins and then chuckles when she sees Blake’s eyebrows shoot up, “for food, oh my god, Blake!” She giggles hitting his chest. 

“Right, right.” He snaps back to reality and then he leans down to press his lips to her cheek, “Morning.” 

His ‘I just gotten out of bed’ country drawl has her smiling like a fool as she feels a warm sensation run through her veins. “Hey there.” She cuddles up to his side and stays there as she watches him cook. 

 

They don’t hang around LA, scared that someone might recognize Gwen, or worse, paparazzi could snap a picture. They have been good at hiding so far and they hope they can keep it up. So they get lost in the middle of nowhere where they end up playing a bunch of songs and chasing each other through the woods. She tells him stories and he listens, and later, he explains the whole Reba thing again and she feels as excited and proud of him as she had been the first time he had told her.  They had agreed to have dinner at his mother’s place, and to their surprise, Gwen’s parents join in as well. They end up playing Monopoly until Gwen decides it’s time to get back home. Before heading back to the city, Blake drives to the main street and puts the radio on. He turns to look at her and smirks. 

“For the old times?” He asks leaning closer to her as Gwen stares at him and bites down her lip. He doesn’t tear his eyes away from her as he reaches for the volume button and turns it up. Their smiles grows on their faces as a Tina Turner song plays in the background. 

They yell out the lyrics with the windows down like they used to when this town was their home, their paradise. Their little forever. The song goes on as he drives down the road. At one point he turns to look at her and chuckles when he spots her eyes closed and her hands up. She’s giving everything of herself. His mind briefly travels back to a brunette Gwen right where she is sitting right now, on the passenger seat yelling out (in key) Tina Turner lyrics for everyone to listen. When he looks back at the road, his smile fades and he runs a hand through his curls letting his head fall back in the head rest. Without even realizing it he drives up the hill to their spot and when Gwen realizes where he is going she leans over to kiss his cheek. 

“I can’t believe we haven’t been here in ages.” She breathes out excitingly as she takes a look around. “Wow.” 

He leans against the tailgate as he watches her move around. He might have the silliest lovesick smile on his face but he can tear his eyes away from her. Everything about Gwen amazes him, it always has, and as much as he loved the silly kinda geeky Gwen, he absolutely adores the sweet but badass icon she has become. He slips his hands inside the pockets of his denim jacket and lets out a little giggle when she catches him staring. There are a few meters separating them but they don’t need binoculars to see the dazzling smiles on their faces. She stays where she is and he walks over slowly, watering his lips and raising his eyebrows at her as he steps closer. “What?” She asks when he’s standing in front of him. 

“You kissed me right here.” He flexes his knees to meet her eyes when she tilts her head down hiding a shy grin. “Best moment of my life.” 

She looks up and brings her lower into her mouth as she takes the last remaining step separating them. 

“You freaked out.” 

“Of course I did!” He admits in a high pitched voice that has her head falling on his chest as his arms come around her. “I’d been wanting to kiss you since the beginning but never found the courage to do it.” 

“Why not?” She tilts her head up to meet his gaze. 

“I never thought you’d-“ he trails off not really knowing how to continue. 

“What?” Gwen insists sweetly. 

“I thought I wasn’t good enough for you.” She shakes her head and brings one of her hands up to his cheek, “Still now I-“

“Shhh.” Her hands reach up to softly touch his stubbly face as Blake sighs and closes his eyes. 

“It’s true though. What did I even do to deserve you?” 

Gwen’s heart breaks a little when she listens to his words but at the same time a warm sensation takes over her body because this man is just too much. She cups his cheeks and makes him meet her eyes, “You love me,” He opens his mouth to say something but she continues before he has time to speak, “From the start. You showed me what love was when we were just fifteen. I know we were just friends then,” she chuckles, “best friends actually. But there was always something about the way you talked to me and how you always wanted to know what I was thinking and what I wanted. You cared then and you care even more now.” She takes a small breath and then lets her hands fall on his sides, “You’re rare, Blake. And this might sounds cliché but I don’t imagine me loving anyone else but you.” 

He presses his lips together, takes a deep breath and holds it for a little while to then exhale as his head falls on her shoulder and she comes up on her tiptoes to lean her head against his as well. 

“I wish we could be normal.” His voice breaks the comfortable silence as he also leans away to meet her eyes. Her hand comes up to his upper cheek where she wipes a away a tear that had found its way out. “Be together the whole time. Live together and all.”

“All?” She asks curiously. 

He draws a beam on his face and then reaches up to put a strand of hair behind her ear, “Be able to do whatever we want whenever we want. Get a place for both of us and just-“ he sighs, “Be together. No miles separating us.” 

Gwen closes her eyes for a moment as she takes his words in. He knows exactly what he means but she knows that is impossible since they both have demanding careers. “We love what we do.”

“We do.” He agrees, “But how long until it breaks us?” 

Gwen inhales and lets go of him. She takes a couple of steps away and then walks to the bench from where she can see a clear view of the town. “I know it’s coming.” She says loud enough for him to listen. He takes a deep breath and then walks over to her, letting some space between them. “I’m scared, Blake.” 

He turns his head to look at her and his breath catches on his throat when he sees a tear break free, “I should cancel on Reba.” 

“No!” She exclaims turning completely to look at him, “Don’t. I won’t let you.” 

“But, Gw-“

She whimpers and links her hands to calm down the nerves, “You cancelled on that Australian guy already. This is Reba, Blake! I don’t know much of country music but I do know her and that says a lot. People that aren’t that much into country will probably get to know you a little bit.” He knows she is right, he totally does but there is just something inside of him that tells him that losing Gwen will hurt like hell and he doesn’t know if he will be able to take that. “It’s your time to shine, babe. Remember when you told me there was no st-“

“No stopping you.” He murmurs looking straight at her brown eyes. 

“Right, well there is no stopping you either.” Gwen explains taking both his hands in between hers. “I want this for you.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He shakes his head bringing their hands up to his lips. “And I will and then I will lose you and I will hate myself for eternity.”

“I won’t hate you.” She assures him, squeezing his hands, “You let me go to pursue No Doubt, now I am doing the same for you.” 

“I left the first time as well, Gwen.” The devastating tone of his voice has her looking down at their feet to take a moment for herself and not break down. 

“You did,” she begins, “but you said that I didn’t have to give up and that I had to fight for the band.” Gwen continues, “and I did. Look at us now.” She holds a sob as she closes her eyes for a moment and tilts her head to the right. Her hands drop from his face to the lapels of his denim jacket. Taking a deep breath, Gwen continues, “You left once to begin your dream and now you actually have the chance to live it and you’re going to back off?” she shakes her head, “no way in hell, babe!” Blake chuckles at her tone of voice. Sweet but badass, gentle but steady. The Gwen of his part and the Gwen of the present. He crashes his lips against her and lingers there. His lips linger on hers for a few long second in which none of them move a finger.

“I meant it when I said that you were it for me.” He murmurs against her lips when he only leans away a few millimeters. His hands frame her face as both their eyes remain closed. “I still do.” He leans back a little more, opens his eyes and then waits for her to open hers. When she does, she looks away for a moment but when his finger brushes her upper cheek she brings her chocolate circles to his Caribbean sea ones. “I want us to have the  _ all _ we were talking about.” 

“Will that ever be possible?” She had been holding that question for a while now. Ever since he told her he would wait for her. “What if you meet someone on the road? What if I do?” 

Blake exhales and lets go of her to pace the ground. His hands come up to his hair and he closes his eyes with a lot of force when he’s not facing her. His hands drop on his sides as he turns to face Gwen again.

“I will be going around the country and I’ll have a better salary so I could fly over and we could spend some days together, just like now.” He tries to control his speaking voice as well as his breathing. Gwen watches and listens to him as she processes the information. 

“But Bl-“

“ _ Please _ .” He takes the remaining step separating them and draws a soft petite dimpled smile on his face, “I just want you, Gwen.”

“I do too, but I-“

“We’ve been good at this whole distance thing so far, haven’t we?” She nods, “We can keep it up. I know we can.”

  
  
  


**Five months later… (2000)**

 

He looks around to find her suitcase opened with a lot of articles of clothing nearly falling off of the edge of the white Samsonite. He had flown into Chicago from NYC since he had a few days off and Gwen had a concert in the Illinois city. He had been on the road for five months now and they had seen each other a total of 20 days. This wasn’t working and both of them were scared of what was at the end of the tunnel. 

“We sleep alone more than we sleep together.” He moves his head to look at her but she won’t tilt hers up to meet his eyes. Blake breathes in loudly and then moves away to rapidly bring his hands to her cheeks gently. 

“I know.” He sighs and looks down as his fingers keep rubbing her soft skin, “I’m sorry.” 

“I am too.” She whispers closing her eyes. “I-“ she begins but then presses her lips together and stops. 

“What?” He holds her gaze and reaches out to grab on of her hands on her lap. 

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep up like this. It’s like we’re in a relationship but we aren’t. We are loyal to one another but-“

“We never see each other.” He finishes the sentence for her.

“It’s hard. Being but not being with you.” She takes a deep breath and lowers her head to look away from his crystal blue eyes. “I always wonder what you are doing, if you’re having fun without me-“

“I would never cheat on you.” Blake assures her squeezing her arm to get her attention. Instead, Gwen keeps her eyes down, “Gwen- I would  _ never _ .” 

“I know.” She finally meets his gaze and he leans closer to rub his nose against hers. 

Minutes go by as they just stand still. Blake’s arms travel up to her neck where he draws circles on her skin with his fingertip and she moves her hands up and down his sides. 

“Are we breaking up?” He asks fracturing the silence. His lower lip trembles as he stares down at her. His hands frame her face as Gwen breathes in, her lower lip shakes and so do her hands on her sides. She closes her eyes for a few seconds and then opens them again when she feels Blake’s thumb on her parted lips. She takes another breath in and then separates herself from him. She paces the floor as she tries to hold it together. She’s about to turn around when she feels his presence behind her. His hands stay on his sides but his head leans down to have his lips drop a kiss on her hair. Gwen sighs loudly and he breathes in her scent. “I really will always love you.” A tears runs free down her face and he looks down to see her closing her hands into fists to hide away the shaking from him. “Don’t.” His gentle voice breaks the silence as both his hands cover hers and he brings them up to her chest to hug her from behind. 

“Blake,” he hums in response, “I do love you and if I’m doing this, walking away, is because I think-“ she shakes her head lightly, “I  _ believe _ you deserve this shot and I want you to be a hundred percent into it.” She slowly starts to turn on her feet to meet his eyes, “You’re finally getting somewhere and I know you love songwriting but you were born to do so much more.” 

“I’m sorry.” He lowers his gaze and takes a step back. “You deserve so much more than ten days in five months. You deserve everything and I can’t give that to you.”

“It’s not your fault.” She walks closely and touches his side, “A relationship consists of two people and we’re both just not-“

“A hundred percent in?” He asks and she nods. 

Silence takes over them as Blake sits down on the sofa and lets his elbows rest on his legs as he buries his face in his hands. Gwen sits right beside him and leans her head against his shoulder as one of her hands rubs his jean covered leg. “You’re an amazing man.” She whispers and then drops a kiss on his clothed shoulder that has Blake catching his breath, “And I’m so proud of you.”

“Can I still call you?” He says after a couple of minutes of complete silence. 

“You will always be my best friend. Remember?”

“Won’t it be weird?” He turns to look at her, still both of them sitting on the sofa. She draws a soft beam on her face and then shakes her head.   
  
  


At gets weird for a while. Calling her and trying to keep their distance is hard. When Reba’s tour ends and they jump right into the studio he is so busy and Gwen is back to Europe. Days and months go by and they grow apart without even realizing it. He is not home for Christmas since he decides visit his dad this year and then goes right back to Nashville to work on the album again. Working with Reba had been the greatest experience of his life so far. With her, he had got to meet so many people, famous or not. He had started to perform in different pubs downtown and got invitations to some fancy parties in which he barely knew anyone at first but little by little people would start to recognize him as Reba’s boy. 

  
  


**2001**

 

After a successful band practise for a benefit show Reba was playing in LA next week, Blake heads back home exhausted and ready to just let his body fall on the mattress. When he enters the building he checks the mailbox and finds a few letters. 

Walking inside his apartment, he closes the front door with his foot as he looks down at the three envelopes on his hands. The car and rent bill but it’s the last white squared envelope that catches his attention. When he turns it over and finds Gwen’s parents address he frowns and then leaves the other two letter aside. 

He opens the envelope and slowly starts to take out a  cartridge paper . When his eyes fall on the words  _ wedding  _ at the top of the white paper, his whole world stops. The envelope falls on the floor because of his trembling hands and he forgets to breath for a few seconds.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a hard time writing. I have said this to some people but writing used to be exciting and now Idk why it's not as great as it was before. Maybe it's me and the fact that I am so busy that I barely have time to write a few lines on the train back home.
> 
> I am sorry if this story is going downhill and the updates aren't as good as you expected. That is all my fault and I am so sorry. I feel like I have to give this story an end and I will even though it may take me a little while. 
> 
> If you just read this chapter, it means that you're still around so thank you for clicking on the link and taking time to read. Really, thank you!
> 
> Cheers!


	12. To see you again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember that letter they wrote to each other to be opened in 10 years? *smirk*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!!
> 
> I know it's taking me a while to post but I am inspired again so that's a good thing :)

Previosuly on No Stopping You: 

 

**2001**

_ Walking inside his apartment, he closes the front door with his foot as he looks down at the three envelopes on his hands. The car and rent bill but it’s the last white squared envelope that catches his attention. When he turns it over and finds Gwen’s parents address he frowns and then leaves the other two letter aside.  _

_ He opens the envelope and slowly starts to take out a cartridge paper . When his eyes fall on the words wedding at the top of the white paper, his whole world stops. The envelope falls on the floor because of his trembling hands and he forgets to breath for a few seconds. _

  
  
  


**2002** (Spring)

He closes the door of his truck and sighs. He makes the move to lean against the door and take a few seconds to himself but doesn’t when he realizes that he better not mess his tux, by leaning against a slightly dirty truck. Blake runs a hand through his hair, closes his eyes and breathes in and out loudly. He takes in the silence of the parking lot and then opens his eyes and turns around towards the church standing in front of him. He wets his lips and then buttons up his blazer. His head tilts down to his dress pants and then to his shiny brown leather cowboy boots. He had put a tux on for the occasion but nothing, not even a wedding was going to make him break his number one rule.  _ Keep it country.  _ He thought the tux was mandatory since the Stefani’s were very classy but he just had to have something to stay true to himself. His hand pats his chest over his vest and then makes sure that his tie is in place. 

 

He walks towards the church playing with his hands. He is nervous for so many reasons but seeing her is on the top of his list. They haven’t seen each other since they broke up that cold night in Chicago and he didn’t know how the re-encounter was going to turn out. They did invite him, so she still has some kind of appreciation of him. At least he does towards her. He still loves her, that is never going to change. 

He spots a few familiar faces as he approaches the tall wooden door that leads inside the church. The Stefani's never missed a Sunday mass. He was never that kind of person, he imagined there had to be some kind of greater power above it all, but he just never had the faith they have. Still, he had nothing but respect for them and their beliefs. Before he makes his way inside, he is stopped by Adrian. 

“Hey man!” The drummer pulls Blake to his body, taking the songwriter completely by surprise. He hugs him back and smiles when he pulls away. “Fancy seeing you here.” 

Blake smiles a little and then presses his lips together as he nods, “Well, I got the invitation so...”

“You look good man!” Adrian’s behaviour is weirding him out. He would frown if Tony was the one talking kind of brotherly to him, but Adrian? He never really got on with the guy. 

“Thank you! You do too.” There is an awkward pause as the drummer looks away but then meets Blake's eyes again. “Have yo-“

“Gwe-“ they speak at the same time. “She’s inside.” The punk rock looking guy chuckles as Blake nervously links his fingers. 

“Thank you.” Blake replies nodding once before spinning on his feet to cross the threshold and enter the dimmed church. 

He looks around and spots Gwen’s parents by the stairs that lead to the altar. He also sees Eric and Jill sitting on the first row. He figures family have the priority seats and all the other guests will just have to find a spot for themselves. 

“Blake!” A voice he recognizes makes his head tilt up as a soft smiles appears on his dimpled face.  _ Her mum _ . 

He takes the few steps separating himself from Gwen’s parents and when he is close enough Patty hugs him close and so does Dennis after he shakes his head with a wide smile on his face when Blake simply offers him his hand to shake. 

“You look very dapper.” Patty chuckles as she runs a hand down his arm. Blake pulls of his dimples and lets a hand fall on Gwen’s mother shoulders. 

“Thank you. You look beautiful as always.” His charming self makes an entrance as Patty giggles next to him and Dennis rolls his eyes. 

“Missed you around here, son.” His heart jumps on his chest when Dennis addresses him with that particular word. It’s not the first or second time he’d used that expression but it has been a while since they last saw each other. 

Blake’s head turns towards the middle aged man as he nods and closes his eyes for a brief moment. “I know, I’m sorry.” He takes a breath, “I figured a little space was the smart move to make after...” He doesn’t finish the sentence because Dennis nods and Patty squeezes his arm. “How is she?” He asks quietly. 

“Good. Excited.” Gwen’s dad replies. 

Blake’s heart shatters a little bit at the positive response but he keeps a straight face and presses his lips together. “Good.”

“How are  _ you _ ?” Patty emphasizes the you to have Blake say more than  _ I’m okay. _

The songwriter chuckles and then drops his arm from around the middle aged woman. “Getting by.” He answers with the most honestly reply he can come up with. “Working a lot and feeling like I’m finally getting somewhere.” 

“We wanted to come to the Reba show in LA but we were out of the city with Gwen and the guys.” Patty explains stealing a beam from Blake, whose eyes also widen in surprise. 

“Wow, really?” The woman nods, “If we come by again I’ll make sure to get you both tickets.”

“Three.” Dennis interjects making Blake turn to him as he frowns. “I know she’d be excited to see you as well.” 

Blake nods and pulls off a small smile for Gwen’s parents but he shakes his head in his mind. He just doesn’t know where him and Gwen stand anymore. They had a past and he made a promise to wait for her. But what about her? 

A grownup couple approaches them and Blake excuses himself to go find a spot. He is dying to see her. He has a weird sensation in his stomach and his insecurities are starting to take over him slowly. He slips his hands inside his pockets and sits on the wooden bench on the fourth row. He saves a spot for his mother, who had called him saying she was running a little bit late, and also saves one for Mike. For a few minutes he people-watches as he taps his fingers on his thigh to try and hold it together. 

Before he knows it, his mother and Mike sit beside him and not long later a soft music starts and everyone stands up. He knows she’ll come from outside and part of him wants to just turn around and stare at her but he doesn’t. He’s not ready to see the exciting grin on her face, so instead, he looks at the dapper groom at the stairs of the altar suited up and with a huge smile on his face. Blake breathes in and then feels his mother take his hand and she gets on her tiptoes to whisper closer to his ear. 

“I know it might be hard but you should turn to see her.” Blake squeezes his mother’s hand as he breathes in loudly and then starts to turn around to face the people walking down the aisle. His eyes land on hers and he nervously fidgets when he realizes she had had her eyes on him for a while. Her pastel maroon dress behind the long white tail makes her shine even brighter than a full moon. She looks stunning, like any other day, just today she looks very elegant. They stare at each other shamelessly and when she walks by him he hears her chuckle and bite her lip as she tries her best to not turn around once she has left him behind. Blake feels his heart skip a beat when she walks just centimeters away from him and her perfume reaches his nose and takes over his body. 

God, he has missed her. 

_ Badly _ .  

 

He watches her shed a tear when her brother and Jen pronounce their vows and Blake stands still wishing she would just turn to him a little bit so he could comfort her with just his dimpled smile and a quick wink. But she doesn’t move a cell as she listens closely to what the pair has to say. 

When the couple kiss he watches Gwen close her eyes and take a deep breath and then rapidly compose herself and join in when everyone starts to applaud the newly wed couple. 

The singer stays near the altar as she watches her brother and sister-in-law walk down the stairs and along the aisle to the door where Todd lens down to kiss her once more and the crowd erupts cheering and applauding again. Blake turns around to watch the happy couple walk down the aisle, but as they kiss, he turns around to face Gwen again. She is smiling bright, she looks happy. At least happy for them. For a few long seconds she tries to avoid his eyes. She knows he is watching her and part of her likes it but the other part is scared. They haven’t seen each other in a long while and she doesn’t know how things are going to evolve when they finally come face to face and she greets him and he says hi back. There has always been a tension between them, a beautiful tension, but that was when they were happy and in love. 

Now the tension is a little awkward. Distant. 

  
  


She disappears into the crowd and doesn’t see her again until the arrive to the venue. There are round tables everywhere and a dancing space at the back where there’s everything ready for a band to play later on. Blake stands awkwardly next to his mother as Mike gets her jacket and takes it to the cloakroom. Dot turns to look at her son and her smile fades when she spots the worry and almost sad look on his face. 

“What’s wrong?” She asks but Blake stays silent as his eyes don’t move from where he is staring at. Dot decides to do as he’s doing and that’s when she realizes why Blake’s so quiet and serious. Some guy is wrapping Gwen in his arms and kissing her head as the blonde smiles softly and rests her head on the man’s shoulder. She pulls away slightly and softly kisses the mystery man’s cheek. “Honey,” his mother begins but he just sighs and turns to face her.

“I’m okay. It’s okay.” 

“No, you are not.” 

“Mom, I don’t-“ Blake sighs and looks down to his brand new shiny boots as he runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to talk about it. We broke up, she can be with whoever she wants.” He breathes in and then slowly lets the air come out as he also starts to look up. He cannot hide away from his mother though. She spots the sad eyes and flat smile as soon as his eyes meet hers shyly. He makes his way to the bar before his mother has time to speak again. He just needs a minute. And a drink. 

  
  


His eyes follow her, discreetly, as she greets every one of the guest but him. He meets her eyes across the room a few times but she rapidly looks away making Blake hold the tears from running free. He never thought she’d be this distant. 

“Bride or groom?” A male voice interrupts his thinking and he turns his head to find the guy that had wrapped his arms around Gwen standing next to him by the bar. The guy, who is just wearing a white button down and dress pants, has his hands on the surface and waiting for the barman to come up to him, as Blake has his back against the counter. 

“Both.” He chuckles when the mystery guy raises his eyebrows and then lets his eyes roam Blake’s body. 

“And you are?” The city accent reaches Blake’s ear and he grimaces at the tone this guy is using. 

“A long time friend of the family.” Blake states taking a sip of his whiskey. 

“I’m Brian.” The guy offers Blake his hand to shake and the songwriter takes a brief moment before he decides to politely shake his hand. The hand that was touching Gwen just moments before. He thinks about maybe dropping his name and find out if Gwen has talked about him to this guy but before he can speak the casually dressed guy breaks the silence, “Why hadn’t I seen you before?” 

”I could ask you the same thing.” Blake dimples pop out as he beams putting his drink aside. Brian chuckles as the barman catches his attention and he asks him for two daiquiris. 

Gwen’s drink of choice.  

He sighs quietly and is about to leave when Brian voice breaks the silence again. “Where are you from? I mean... You have an accent and you’re wearing cowboy boots.” His sarcastic tone and laugh makes Blake’s hand holding his drink tighten as he tries to not snap at the guy who is close to annoying him. 

“Oklahoma.” 

“Cowboy land, huh?” Brian chuckles loudly as his hand pats Blake’s chest. His eyes fall to the hand on his torso and he raises his eyebrows and grimaces. 

He just nods, he is not ready to get sarcastically incorrect with this guy. Silence takes over as the barman finishes the daiquiris and hands them to Brian who then turns around to face the room. Blake’s eyes have landed on Gwen again, who is in the middle of the room talking to her mother “You know Gwen?” Brian asks. 

“I do.” 

“How?” 

Blake wants to walk away and tell the guy that he is her best friend and ex-boyfriend slash love of her life but he holds it together. “We went to school together.” 

“I’m her boyfriend.” Brian says next making Blake’s heart stop as breath also catches on his throat. “It’s so crazy cos she’s this big star and-“

“I have to go find my mother.” Blake says cutting the guy off and walking away making Brian shake his head curiously. 

As he walks away from Brian, he spots his mother and Mike on their table, where he also has to sit. He gives a quick look at the room and thinks about the best route to avoid meeting Gwen, but as he looks around his eyes land on hers and she stops talking to her mother. Her mother waves her hand in front of Gwen but Gwen’s eyes stay on him as he freezes in the middle of the dance floor. When she doesn’t respond, her mother follows Gwen’s gaze and that’s when she gets it. She quietly moves away as Gwen stands still in her spot near the stage. 

Blake takes a deep breath and then lets it out as one of his hands comes up to pad his chest. He should be distant, but her eyes are like magnets. Always have been. So he finds himself and her too walking to a mutual central point where for a few seconds they just look at each other. 

It’s awkward and beautiful at the same time and as much as he tries to keep a flat face, his dimples pop on his face as a smile starts to appear on his face. Gwen, on the other side, doesn’t let her emotions show. She opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out, not even a small audible sound. Blake chuckles lightly and she blushes a bit. 

“Hi.” His voice is soft and gentle just like all of him. He looks so good in his tux, awkwardly and shyly standing in front of her. She doesn’t know quite why, but something about this moment takes her back to when Blake got to her house on prom night. He looked as cute and nervous as he is right now and that makes Gwen relax a little bit and smile back at him. 

“Blake.” His name trembles out of her mouth as she keeps her gaze on him but briefly shuts her eyes when she speaks. 

“Hi.” He repeats keeping a distance between them. He notices the almost uncomfortable but partly hopeful look on her eyes and his hand reaches up to maybe touch her arm but stops halfway when he realizes that maybe she doesn’t want his touch or his comfort. So his hand falls back to his side where it clenches into a fist. 

“I didn’t know you were going to come.” Her voice breaks the silence they had created around them in a room full of people. 

“I didn’t know quite well myself either.” He speaks slowly and kind of bubbly as he bounces on his feet and slips his hands on his pockets. 

“I’m glad you decided to come.” He swears his heart skips a beat as her words reach his ears. He beams down at her and lets his dimples pop out on his face making her chuckle. 

“You look very-“ his lower lips trembles slightly as his eyes fall on her dress, “beautiful. Gorgeous.” 

“Thank you.” She blushes a bit and then lowers her head for a brief moment. She’s taken aback to prom night again and it’s making her heart beat faster and his head spin in a good way. “You cleaned up nice.” 

“Than-“

“I know how much you dislike suits.”

“I thought the occasion deserved nothing less.” Blake grins at her and Gwen shakes her head smiling, “To be honest, I just put it on cos I know you liked me in a suit when we were younger.” Her eyes widen at the words and the smile grows on her face. 

“Still do.” She blurts out before she realizes the consequences of her words. There’re a long few seconds of silence in which Blake waters his lips and runs a nervous hand through his curls disheveling them even more. Without giving it a second thought, Gwen steps on her tiptoes and reaches up to run a hand through his hair making Blake freeze and air catch inside his throat as his eyes close to the soft touch of her hand. He breathes out when her hand falls on his cheek, her eyes leave his as she looks down and then gets ready to step away from him but Blake has other plans. One of his hands lands on her upper back and he slowly draws her into him. Her head falls on his chest and she finally relaxes as her walls come down and she melts against his welcoming body. Her hands tentatively make their way around his waist to settle on his middle back as she breathes in his scent. Her nose against his vest and tie completely has a deja vu feeling reaching her mind as she sees them dance to soft music at the school gym. She breathes in and then snuggles even more of possible. 

“Gwen!” She jumps on her feet as a voice she recognizes startles her. She knows that voice, has known for quite a while.  _ Brian _ . 

Her head tilts up to meet Blake’s eyes and she watches him close his baby blues as he sighs in defeat. 

“What’s going on?” Brian asks when he comes up to the pair. “Gwen?” He pushes taking her arm. 

“We reunited. I told you we went to school together.” Blake explains as Gwen’s head turns to look at him with a surprise look on her face. “We met at the bar.” 

She frowns and then turns to Brian again, “We did go to school together. This is Blake.” Gwen explains and the country singer waits for Brian to put pieces together but he just nods, meaning that she hasn’t talked about him to her new boyfriend. He doesn’t know if that is good or not. 

“Blake.” Brian repeats his hame nods at the tall man. “That sure was a  _ hug _ .” He says in a tone Blake doesn’t like. At all. 

He wants to say so many things. He takes half a step forward but Gwen’s hand on his chest stops him from saying anything stupid. “It had been a while.” 

Brian looks up at Blake curiously as the oklahoman pulls of his best fake smile and stay quiet behind Gwen. Brian takes her hand and without saying a word takes her away leaving Blake completely by himself in the middle of the room. 

  
  


He sits by his mother’s side and spends the lunch talking to her and the sweet woman in front of him. He jokes around with Mike from time to time and when the dessert comes he turns around to look at Gwen’s table. Brian is by her side completely ignoring her as he talks to who he believes is Jen’s brother. She looks lonely and that breaks him. 

He watches the newly wed couple have their first dance and he smiles softly when couples start to make their way to the dance floor to join them when the song changes. His eyes travel to the Gwen’s table again and his hands clench to fists when Gwen turns to Brian and tilts her head to the dance floor and he just shakes his. Gwen leans back on her chair and sighs sadly. Blake feels her sadness all the way from across the room, he waits for her to look up since he doesn’t know if he should walk up to her and ask to dance. 

She doesn’t meet his eyes so Blake gives up and stands up to leave the room telling his mother that he needs some air. 

 

He walks around the garden of the restaurant not thinking about anything in particular but he stops on his feet when he feels her presence. His head slowly tilts up to find her a few steps away from him. He shamelessly stares at her for a moment and then watches her walk closely. 

“Why are you really here?” She asks when she’s close enough. 

“I got invited.” His response is simple and short, but also the truth. 

“I know that. I told Todd your address.” Blake looks at her nervously, “You came all the way from Nash-“

“I wanted to see you.” He cuts her off and then turns around to give his back to her. He is embarrassed by all of this, letting his guard down and making his feelings visible to her. “When I got the envelope and saw your parents home address and then the words wedding I wanted to die.” He explains pacing the floor but never looking at her. 

“Blake-“ 

“I thought  _ you _ were getting married.” He sighs loudly and Gwen’s heart breaks a little when he hunches. “I-“ he huffs loudly, “Fucking christ, Gwen!” His voice trembles and she moves closer to put a hand on his back. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t do that again.” He turns around to face her again and she squeezes his arm in support. “It was my mother who told me it was Todd getting married and not you.” She lowers her head to his chest, “I cried. I thought I had lost you. Well I did lose you, but you being  _ not _ married gives me hope that one day I will get my shit together and you will wait for me.” She tries to quiet him but Blake continues, “I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t.” 

“Didn’t what?”

“Wait for me.” He looks down and steps away from her. “I would hate me if I were you.” 

“Wh- why?” She asks completely taken aback by his choice of words. 

“I let you go. I didn’t even fight for you.” He shakes his head as he also lowers it to stare at their feet. 

“I told you to leave.” She adds.

“And I did. Just like that.” He huffs and runs a hand through his hair. “I-“

“It wasn’t working, we both agreed on that.” She explains, “We promised to keep in touch but didn’t. That’s what we’re not good at.” 

“Why are you not mad at me?” Blake asks out of the blue making Gwen frown. “You should be mad at me.” 

“Why?”

“I gave up on us and then I didn’t even call.”

“Do you realize that I gave up on us and stopped calling as well?” She tries to put some sense on the conversation. “We’re making the same mistakes we did the first time.” 

Blake stays quiet for a few seconds as he realizes that she is right, they just have a problem of communication. He sighs and then takes a look around, “It doesn’t matter anymore, does it? You have Brian.”

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t have to explain. You are free to do whatever you want.” 

Gwen’s hands come up in the air, “Wait! Stop!”

“No really, it’s fine I jus-“

“I don’t love Brian!” She raises her voice startling Blake in the process. “I’m not even sure if I am dating him to be honest.” 

“How can you not be sure?” Blake lets out an ironic chuckle. “He told me he was your boyfriend.” 

Gwen laughs as she shakes her head, “He is not.” Gwen begins but soon enough gets cut off when her mother’s voice interrupts them. Blake sees Patty first, because Gwen has her back towards the entrance of the restaurant. 

“They’re about to cut the cake.” Her mother’s voice cuts the silence again as Gwen sighs letting her head lower down. She hears her mother disappear and she then takes a step forward only to be stopped by Blake’s torso nearly touching her back. He must be very close because she can feel his breath in her hair as he breathes in and out. She closes her eyes and lets herself enjoy the closeness for a few seconds. 

He thinks about touching her but instead his hands stay on his sides as his fists open and close rhythmically. “Dance with me later?” His whispering tone makes goosebumps appear on her skin as a soft smile breaks across her lips. 

She nods lightly and then walks back inside without turning to look at him. Blake lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and lets one of his hands come up to his face as his cheeks twitch up and he lets out a nervous laugh. 

  
  


He has to watch her dance with Brian for about thirty minutes. All upbeat songs in which the guy just lets loose and Gwen moves awkwardly by his side. It looks like they’re not even dancing together, but just standing near each other. When the first slow song comes on he walks up to the dance floor and politely asks Mike if he’d let him take his place and dance with his mother. His stepfather smiles proudly at him and steps aside, not before kissing his wife’s cheek and making her giggle in the process. 

Blake takes her mother’s hand and wraps his arm around her upper back and then lets her lead them around. He has never done this before but he definitely likes it. 

“You know,” his mother breaks the comfortable silence between both of them, “You dancing around with the broom worked out really well.” Her teasing tone has Blake chuckling and tilting his head back as his mother stares up at him. “Jokes aside,” she says when Blake looks back down at her, “You really are a good dancer.” 

“I always had the best partner.” His eyes wander across the room to find Gwen sitting back at her chair and Brian nowhere to be found. 

“Indeed.” Dot’s lower tone makes Blake’s eyes go to her again.

“What?” 

His mother closes her eyes for a brief moment, “She’s your whole world. Always has been.” Blake freezes on his feet. He never expected such an honest comment from his mother. His hand leaves her back and covers his face to then run it through his curls. “Remember when you asked me if a broken heart hurt?” Blake nods quietly. “It only hurts if the love is real.”  

Blake chuckles and lowers his head only to slowly lift it again to find Gwen across the room, “Then it must be really really real cos nothing ever hurt as bad.” He feels his mother’s fingertips on his cheek as she carefully turns his head to look at her again. 

“You’re scared.” Blake doesn’t even have to nod, his mother can read him like an open book. “Why?”

“I’m going to lose her, mum.” 

“Only if you let it happen.” Blake frowns not really knowing what she means. Dot gives him a little smile and then carries on, “Win her back. Show her that you’re all in.” Blake opens his mouth to speak but Dot continues before he has time to utter a word. “Honey, I can see you’re not happy in Nashville. The tour’s over and Reba’s album is out, which means you have more time in your hands.” Blake nods, “Yes, you’ll have to still go to some festivals and events from time to time but it will not be every week.” The middle aged woman inhales as she keeps her eyes on her son the whole time, “Maybe it’s time to focus on yourself and not your career. You have thought of recording a little EP, huh?” Blake draws a soft smile on his face and hugs his mother close, “Do it. I know you can and there’s a pretty blonde, sitting by herself on the table by the stage that believes in you as much as I do.” Dot leans back to meet Blake’s gaze again. His face has completely changed from a flat emotionless look to a dimpled smile and shiny blue eyes. “I think she might even believe in you more than your old lady.”  

“Mum-“ Blake giggles leaning down to hug his mother as close as he can. She has always been supportive of him but she was never one to talk feelings. He believes a rebel tear makes its way out of his eye and down his cheek but he doesn’t even care at this point. His head falls on her shoulder as he hunches over to wrap his arms securely around his mother. “I love you, you know that, right?” His voice reaches her ears and Dot chuckles squeezing his arms. 

“I have always known, but I love to hear it.” When they pull away his mother spots the puffy eyes and smiles up at him. “I’m so proud of you and I love you too.” There’s a brief moment of silence as Dot runs her hand through Blake’s curls and then pads his chest and adjusts his tie. “You look very handsome.” 

  
  


His mother and Mike leave soon after Blake and Dot go back to their table. It’s around 12 o’clock and the country singer knew his mother and stepfather weren’t party people. In fact, most of the parents had started leaving to make room for the younger people. 

When he walks back inside the party, Gwen is still sitting on her table but this time she’s not alone. Jen is by her side and she’s also making Gwen smile. Her white toothed smile shines brighter than the disco lights on the ballroom floor and that only makes Blake smile big as well. If Gwen were talking to someone else he’d wait but since is Jen, he decides to walk closer to them and sit on the vacant chair beside Gwen. 

“Hello ladies.” His country drawl comes out making Jen giggle and Gwen turn around to find him taking a seat. “Someone told me the two most beautiful girls in the room weren’t dancing and I feel like I have to do something about it.” He teases making Gwen roll her eyes but also blush a little bit.

“Hi Blake!” Jen greets him since she hadn’t had time to do so before. 

“Congratulations! You really are a beautiful bride.” The newlywed stands up to hug Blake as Gwen silently watches the scene. “Todd is one lucky bastard!” He lets out a little laugh and so does Jen, who then goes back to her chair but doesn’t sit down. 

“Speaking of Todd, I’m going to go find him.” Gwen’s eyes widen at her sister-in-law saying  _ don’t leave me alone  _ but Jen winks at her and squeezes her shoulder goodbye. 

 

They let the silence built between them for a long minute until Gwen breaks it, turning her chair to face him. “About a week after we broke up-“ She begins, “My manager showed me some pictures of…” She takes a deep breath and lowers her gaze to her linked hands on her lap, “Of us. I couldn’t really make out where they were taken but you could really see it was me.” Blake’s clenches his hands in fists as blood boils inside his veins. Gwen tilts her head up to meet his eyes again to see the confusion but also his protective instinct reflected in them. “They were going to publish them and I didn’t want to make your life a living hell.”

“Gwen-“ He tries to stop her but she cuts him off. 

“They would have found out everything about you in days and-“ She takes a deep breath and presses her lips together as Blake reaches out to place one of his hands on top of hers on her lap. “I didn’t want you to go through all that crap when you were about to really start your career.” His fingers link with hers one by one as he takes a few seconds to process the information. “I knew Brian, we were friends since his band had opened for a us a few times, and I thought that if the paparazzi saw us together the photos about you -us- would never see the light of day.” She explains looking down at their linked hands. Something about his touch makes her feel safe so she pours her heart out. She takes a deep breath and tilts her head up again, “We just date for the public eye. He knows that, he agreed to it and it’s helping his band as w-“

“He’s using you.” Blake cuts her off. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to not run to the dance floor and hit Brian on the face. 

“We’re kind of using each other.” 

“No,” his tone is soft again as he rubs his thumb on her palm, “Babe, we broke up a year ago. Those pictures are long forgotten. There’s no need for you to date this guy for the public eye anymore. He’s using you.”

“Why do you even care?” Gwen explodes as she stands up to leave. 

“Why do I-“ He shakes his head and then stands up to get ahold of her arm and stop her from running away. His hand slowly travels down to link their fingers together and he tugs on her hand as he walks them to the dance floor, where slow music had started playing. He takes her hand and places his on her back as she watches him. She doesn’t wrap her arms around him at first but when their gazes meet in the dimmed space, she wets her lips and then places her hand on his middle back and steps closer. “I have always cared for you.” She nods and lowers her gaze to their feet. The contrast of his boots next to her high heels makes a smile appear on her face as closes her eyes enjoying his presence so close. 

“I’m sorry.” She looks up again, “I know that.” He rests his cheek against the side of her face as Gwen relaxes her head against his neck, where she quietly breathes in. 

The songs comes to an end but Blake is not ready to let go so when the next song that comes on gives him a reason to hold on, he smiles. When he hears the first few notes of  _ When you say nothing at all  _ he chuckles and Gwen leans back and looks at him curiously. “I didn’t do anything.” He puts one hand up in surrender and she rolls her eyes at him as she chuckles and rests her nose against his tie. Blake lets her lead this one as he just enjoys the opportunity of having her so close again. Something about this situation rings so many bells and takes him back to high school. “Thank you for protecting me.” He whispers halfway across the song, “I… I don’t know what to say. I hate that the media controls you this much.” He pulls away slightly to meet her gaze, “I’m sorry.” 

“I would do anything for you.” He breathes in loudly as his forehead comes to rest against hers gently. He opens his eyes to find hers so very close and on his. “I opened your letter.” Gwen whispers as she closes her eyes scared of his reaction. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh oh... 
> 
> Thoughts?


	13. Sincerely, truly, fully and always

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gwen opens the letter an 18-year-old Blake wrote to her before leaving for Nashville.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it has taken me so long... :(
> 
> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! :)

_Previously on: (Todd and Jen’s wedding)_

 

_“I would do anything for you.” He breathes in loudly as his forehead comes to rest against hers gently. He opens his eyes to find hers so very close and on his. “I opened your letter,” Gwen whispers as she closes her eyes scared of his reaction._

 

**2001**

 

The tour is over and she always goes back home. Not to her cozy but quiet LA apartment, but to her parents always inviting and familiar Anaheim house. She likes to have her off time there surrounded by people who love her and she loves back than alone in LA. She helps her mother around the house and walks around town like she used to do.

Todd getting engaged hits her hard. Her little brother’s getting married before her. Not that there’s a rule in which it says he can’t get married before her, but she imagined she’d be married by now. One afternoon he asks from Blake’s home address and she grants it because she knows Todd likes Blake and they’ve always had a bro bond going on that Gwen always awwed at whenever they were around each other.

She misses him and ever since they broke up half a year ago, she has tried to stay in touch but just as when he first left for Nashville, it had been hard. They had both gotten mobile phones but Blake always forgot his at home. _I’m just not used to have it on me_. He said over and over again when he picked up after five missed calls from her. Keeping in touch and being friends after being in a relationship didn’t work. It was hard and even though none admitted to it, it hurt, and it hurt a lot.

She started to date Brian for the media because she had gotten pictures of her and Blake shortly after they had broken up and she didn’t want to mess his career when it was starting to take off. She doesn’t even really like the guy but he’s the band leader of the group opening for them around the country so, on paper, they work perfectly well.

 

 

One quiet afternoon her mother asks her if she’d like to donate to the church clothes, dolls and toys from when she was younger and Gwen obviously agrees. She climbs the stairs to her bedroom and opens the door of her wardrobe. She looks up at the top shelve to find two big boxes. She stands on her tiptoes and brings them down one at a time. When she puts down the second one she looks up again to see if there is something else that she could have up there when her eyes fall on a box that makes her heart skip a beat. She recognizes the maroon box as if she had closed it and put it away yesterday. She has to get a chair to get it since it’s far behind so she does and when she’s about to touch it, Gwen stops and stares at it for a while. She finds the name tag on the side that’s facing her and she reads it out loud. “Blake’s.” She lets out a sigh and wets her lips nervously. She brings her hands up slowly and they land on the sides of the box as she pulls it over to her. She stops when the maroon box is right before her eyes and she swears she can smell Blake’s scent still. She takes the box and then sits down on the carpet where she brings the object closer to her chest for some brief seconds before she breathes in and out loudly and then sits crossed legged and places the box in front of her.

Tentatively, she reaches out and opens the box putting aside the cover. When her eyes fall back to the open box, she closes them immediately as if she were scared to look inside. Her hands close into fists on either side of the rectangular object as she lets the silence surround her. She takes a deep breath and opens one eye first. She sees the plaid shirt he had given to her before he left and that makes the other eye pop open. She feels her lower lip shake a little bit and she bites down on it to stop the nerves. Her hands reach out to take the plaid out of the box and she immediately brings it up in front of her eyes. She can’t help but picture him on it. He always looked so good, so different from any other guys she knew. He was his own thing and she admired that from him. A smile appears on her lips and she closes her eyes again when she hugs the piece of clothing close to her chest. Her head tilts down and she buries her nose in the fabric taking in the scent. She knows it has lost his characteristic, unique and inviting smell but she can still feel it as if the eighteen-year-old Blake was standing in front of her. Slowly and carefully, she takes off her jumper and slides her arms inside the sleeves of the grey and red plaid shirt. She hugs herself and lets the memories take over her, it’s like she can hear him call out for her and tell her how good she looks in that shirt.

_You can keep it._

She smiles and even lets out a nervous giggle when she recalls him saying those exact words the night before he had left. She doesn’t even realize it but a tear escapes her eyes but before it has time to fall on the carpeted floor, she catches it as it lands on the palm of her hand. She stares at the drop for what feels like forever as she questions herself why she’s crying. _Happiness or sadness?_ She closes her eyes and tilts her head back catching her breath as she flips her hand to let the drop fall on the floor. “A little bit of both.” She whispers as she tries to control her breathing. She wipes away the two rebel tears wanting to come out and run down her skin and then looks back down at the opened box. Quietly and emotionally she takes out a photo of the two of them. Their prom picture, which she had framed and had sit on her bedside table for so long. She puts it aside and continues to take out stuff from the box. Lyrics, drawings, some bracelets and tickets to some show she cannot remember. She’s about to put everything back inside, and maybe keep the lyrics, the photo and his plaid shirt when her eyes fall on a white envelope she immediately recognizes.

_Write each other a letter to be opened in 10 years._

She’s brought back to their spot in Anaheim, sitting on the bed of his bat-mobile calling out the five things to do before he left for Nashville, and writing each other a letter had been one of them, one she had suggested. A letter, written in 1994 and to be opened in 2004. She reaches out for the envelope and stares at it almost scared. She shouldn't have picked it up because now everything she wants to do it open it, even if she’s two years early. She puts it back down at the end of the box and rapidly covers it with some of the stuff that she had taken out minutes before. She just keeps the lyrics, the prom photo and his plaid. As fast as lightning she puts the box back on the top shelf and she turns to the big boxes full of clothes she had told her mother she’d looked into.

She starts to classify clothes in piles: things that can be reused, things she wants to keep and things that she should just throw away because they have holes and some are even ripped. It’s not until her eyes fall on another one of his plaids in between her blouses that she freezes and then slowly turns her head to the closet and the top shelve where she can still see the maroon box calling out for her. She drops everything and nearly runs to Blake’s box and takes out everything not even bothering where the stuff lands; she only cares about his words.

The white envelope stares back at her and she even lets out a giggle because this feels like a movie scene in which the envelope containing an important matter shines at the person looking down to it. She picks it up and traces the edges breathing in and out slowly. She turns the envelope over and finds his characteristic handwriting.

_To 2004 Gwen._

The blue ink makes her chuckle and she’s taken back to the two of them hanging around in her room officially doing homework but unofficially writing songs.

“ _But the black pen is just so boring.” He had frowned at her as he tried to not chuckle when she had snorted._

_“Boring? Blue is boring.” She had teased back making Blake bring his pen up to his eyes._

_“I think it’s actually a good thing that we use different colours because this way when we co-write a song we will know who sings which part.”_

 

She grins as she stares down at the white envelope and it stares back at her. She thinks about staying in her room and read the letter in the quietness of the space but she stands up and runs down the stairs and outside to her car as her mother calls out to her. She has one mission, though and that is to make it to their spot. She doesn’t look back, not even tilts her head up to face her mother. The envelope lands on her lap as she puts the car in drive and she takes off. Just like that.

Patty watches her daughter nervously. She had heard her run down the stairs and had walked out the kitchen startled by the loud sound. As soon as she had seen the plaid shirt Gwen was wearing she had understood. Still, she had tried to talk to her and ask where she was going, but she wouldn’t listen. She didn’t even answer, but it’s not like Patty needed her daughter to voice her destination, she knew where Gwen was going.

Thinking that she was old enough to make her own decisions, the middle-aged woman goes back inside as she sighs and then smiles to no one and nowhere in particular. Gwen deserves everything that is right in this world and she knows how broken her relationship with Blake has left her, but she also knows he is the only person that makes her truly happy and with whom she’s really herself.  

 

She cranks up the volume of the radio as she presses channel 4 and a country sound fills the car. She doesn’t recognize the song but she needs to feel him near somehow and if there is something she associates him with, that is country music.

It only takes her ten minutes to drive up the hill and when she gets there she just turns off the engine buts leaves the radio on, turning down the volume a bit. She thinks about jumping outside and lean against the car as the air and the music surround her, but when her eyes fall on the envelope in her lap she reaches for it and decides to stay seated where she is. She feels her hands shake a little bit as she brings the envelope to her line of vision. Her head tilts back to fall against the headrest for a few seconds before she takes a deep breath and slowly opens the perfectly closed white envelope. She does her best to not rip it off and makes sure the paper doesn’t break further than it has to because something tells her that she’s going to keep this letter for eternity.

 

The first thing she sees is _Dear 2004 Gwen_ and that’s really all it takes for her emotions to betray her as she has to suck in a breath to not completely lose it. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before she pulls the whole paper out of the envelope. She unfolds it and comes face to face with his handwriting and blue ink which makes her chuckle again. She reminds herself that she is two years early to open the letter but there’s no stopping her now. She needs to know what he wrote.

 

 _Dear 2004 Gwen_ ,

 

_It’s weird, huh? The fact that you’re gonna read the words a barely 18-year-old me is going to tell an almost or already 28-year-old you._

_Please don’t read this in front of me, I’m going to be so embarrassed. (I can picture you chuckling and tilting your head back.)_

 

_When you first said that you wanted us to write each other a letter to open in ten years, I freaked out. I don’t think I hid it well cos you could tell when I was lying, you knew everything about me and I just hope to god your you in the future can keep telling when I’m bluffing and when I am not._

 

_I just kissed you. You just kissed me, actually. I’m still on cloud nine. Well, that happened in 1994. (This whole past tense present tense is going to get messy) But you did and I’m still pinching myself because I’ll get to do that until... well I don’t know until when actually, but I just hope 2004 me hasn’t messed it up and is still kissing you and you’re still kissing me. I bet I’m still pinching myself, aren’t I?_

_God, I hope I’m still kissing you!_

 

 _You’re the greatest person I have ever met_ _and each day that goes by it’s clearer to me that Richie sent you to save me. I am sorry I am just now “voicing” this but I believe you should know. I’m so grateful for you and everything we have become. I’m so grateful you decided to walk home with me when you did and you basically invited yourself into my life. Thank you for being an extrovert and helping this introvert discover the world. Even if that world was just the limits of Anaheim, our kingdom. Thank you for believing in me, for putting up with my dorkiness and all the “hard country” (as you call them) songs. No one has ever understood me like you._

 

_(This is the part where you start to blush) You’re so pretty. You take my breath away. You always have. I always wondered how someone like you could be interested in someone like me, and I’m sure I still do now. I am so proud of who you are and I can tell 2004 Blake is as proud as 1994 Blake. Maybe prouder, if that’s even possible. You’re an example to follow; you fight, you never give up. I admire you._

_You have that Grammy already? I’m sure you do. VERY SURE. Congrats!!!!!! ;)_

 

_I don’t know how long this can be (we didn’t talk about that, did we?) but I know there aren’t enough words in the English language to say how much I love you. Now and in the future. I know I’m leaving but I promise you, I’ll never stop loving you. You’re it._

_If 28-year-old Blake has messed up and we’re not together anymore, I give you permission to kick my ass. Seriously. Do it. And if we’re together I can already picture how happy we are. Who knows? Maybe we’ll have a little you or a little me. A little us._

_Ten years can bring so many changes and I am truly scared of what we’ve become. I am. I hope you’re successful and you’ve toured the world. I also wish you have been able to stare at the Eiffel Tower at night and heard the Big Ben strike twelve in New Year's Eve and if you haven’t already, I promise you now to take you. I’d do anything for you. I hope 2004 Gwen still knows that._

_In just three days you showed me more love and desire to live, to not let go and don’t hold back, that I will ever experience. You’re the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, and I know I’m just 18 now (was 18 if you’re reading this in 2004) but you will be, always._

 

_If we’re not together I hope we’re at least friends and I pray to god you’re happy cos that’s what you deserve. To be happy._

_Even though I wish I am the man that’s still bringing smiles to your lips, making you laugh and writing you songs, I don’t know what the future holds for us. What I do know if that I want to slow dance with you until the end of time. I feel like when I have you close everything that is bad fades away and it’s just you and me. Our quiet, timid, rare, different, complicated and beautiful selves._

 

_I know it’s just three little words, but if I could I’d shout them to the world: I love you._

 

_Sincerely, truly, fully and always yours._

 

_Blake._

 

_PS: Don’t cry darlin’. (but I know you are so there’s a tissue inside the envelope)._

 

For a long minute, she just closes her eye forcefully and leans her head back against the headrest. She feels like she wants to scream, laugh and cry at the same time. She has shed a few tears that have watered the white paper and even blurred a few blue words but she knows he won’t care, the contrary, he’d like it. He always appreciated and admired the way she showed her emotions and how she was open about them with him. She’s not fully sobbing, but when her eyes open again and fall back on the PS, she chuckles and reaches for the white envelope on top of the glove box. She indeed finds a tissue that she uses to wipe away the tears on her puffy cheeks. The music still plays in the background but she’s unaware of it because she’s in her own bubble, like time has stopped for her. Maybe she’s crazy but the tissue smells like him and that’s all it takes to let another tear run free down her cheek and onto the paper. When she hears the drop meet the paper, she’s brought back to earth and the music reaches her ears again as her bubble burst.

She hugs the letter close to her chest as if life depended on it. “Sincerely, truly, fully-” her voice cracks as she repeats his words and tries to picture him saying them to her in his calm and characteristic drawl. That voice she loves so much and that brings her so much peace but also many, many memories, “and always,” She takes a deep breath and opens her eyes to see Anaheim right in front of her, “yours.”

 

**Jen and Todd’s wedding**

 

Blake’s eyes widen as her words echo in his head, “It’s not 2004.” That’s the first thing that comes out of his mouth and he’s right, it is not.

“I know.” She lowers her gaze to his chest as his arms never let go of her and neither do hers off him. “I just-”

“I’m not mad.” He says quietly as his hand on her back moves to her chin to tilt her head up and meet his eyes. Silence takes over them as they stay frozen in the middle of a crowded dance floor full of happy couples and pairs slow dancing their way through the night. “Did you- uhm-”

“You made me cry.” She draws a soft and small smile on her face and her eyes soften when his do too. She feels him let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding followed by a chuckle.

“I did put a tissue inside for you to use.”

“Believe me, I used it well.” She lets out a laugh that has Blake imitating her as his eyes roam over her face taking in every detail a smile causes on her features. He loves how her eyes shine a little brighter and the brown in them softens to a more light shade; her cheeks twitch up and she (even though it's only sometimes) bites down her tongue. Her head falls against his chest like she used to do years ago and her hand on his back grips his blazer as if she was anchoring herself to him.

“I guess you should kick my ass,” Blake whispers against her hair and she laughs against his vest.

“You remember your words?” She asks, her head still buried in his chest.

“I wrote two exact letters,” he says caressing her back, “And I kept one for myself, which I read every now and then.”

She leans back and looks up, “You did?”

“Well yeah, I had to be prepared for when the time came and I had to impress you by remembering the words.” Gwen laughs as she shakes her head at him.

“You’re crazy and you also just blew your cover.” She playfully smacks his chest earning a fake pout from him, who begins to sway them again. For a long minute, they just let the music control their movements, there’s no one leading, just the slow melody in the background.

“Gwen?” She hums in response, “I’m sorry.” She makes a move to open her mouth and asks what he’s sorry for, but the Oklahoma native carries on, “I pictured a different _us_ in ten years-”

“I wouldn’t change a thing.” She quietly cuts him off as she tears her eyes away for a moment to let them fall on his tie and vest. Her hand leaves his back again to pat his chest, “I don’t want easy, Blake. I never did.” She tilts her head up to meet his confused gaze which makes her let out a little giggle, “I knew it was going to be hard and that we would hate each other at times but that would only make the love stronger.” She places her fingers on his lips when she sees his mouth open, ready to say something. “I do not know what would have happened to us if we had decided to stay together when you left for Nashville, but maybe we wouldn’t be here.” She takes a deep breath and continues as her eyes never leave his, but they do stop dancing once again, “Just think about this. Every bad and good decision, every mistake and wonderful thing that we have done, has lead us to this moment, right here, together.” The country singer closes his eyes and presses his lips together fighting the urge to shed a few drops.

He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes again to meet Gwen’s chocolate stare. “I don’t want to make more mistakes.” He shakes his head a few times and hugs her closer, bringing her head to rest against his chest as his chin fits perfectly on top of it.

She breathes in his scent and tightens her hold on his body, “I’m taking some time off. I’ve told the guys and they aren’t very happy but I need it.” He leans back just enough for her to understand that he wants to meet her gaze again, so Gwen lifts her eyes to his and stares at him for a few seconds.

“Have you seen the Eiffel Tower at night?” Gwen frowns but also shakes her head. “And the Big Ben strike twelve on New Year’s Eve?” She shakes her head again and draws a big grin on her face when she begins to realize what he’s planning.

“It’s just May.” She laughs caressing his clothed arms.

“We can do whatever you want until then.” He leans down to playfully and tenderly peck her nose.

“I feel like we always reconnect when we’re slow dancing, huh?” Gwen rubs her nose against his as their lips also brush against each other like feathers.

“That’s why I wanna slow dance with you until the end of time.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's going to be an epilogue after this chapter. 
> 
> THANK YOU, each one of you, for coming on this journey with me. I never thought this kind of premise would be given so much attention because it's very AU, but it has and I am very happy. I think that as someone who is more or less the age Blake and Gwen are in this story, it's easier for me to capture everything. So really, THANK YOU!


	14. Johanna

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> EPILOGUE PART I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I said there was only going to be one chapter (an epilogue) but it got too long so I am splitting it into two. 
> 
>  
> 
> I've re-read it once but it's kinda late, I apologise for any typo or grammatical mistake. 
> 
> Little reminder than Tim McGraw made an appearance a while ago and that Blake still has to open Gwen's letter ;)

Tony throws at her face that she’s giving up everything the band has fought for, he screams and Adrian has to be the peacemaker before Gwen yells back all the anger she has saved up, not only regarding the band, but also him un particular.

“I need a break.” She repeats for the millionth time. “We’ve been running around the world for twelve years. I do not only think _I_ deserve a break, but all of us. I’m not saying we have to break up, no. I just need some time off.” Her tone is as calm as it can be. Her hands stay behind her back closed in fists, which cage the anger she has towards Tony right now.

“You just want the fucking time off to get freak on with Blake.” Tony whispers after Gwen had laid out her point.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Gwen closes her eyes and breathes in trying to control her anger. “He’s no one Gwen. All he wants is what you have achieved to become someone in Nash-“

“Dude” Tom cuts in but Tony brushes the comment off and carries on.

“In Nashville. Don’t you-“

“You’ll never be not even half of the man he is.” Gwen’s tone catches everyone off guard as she spats at her ex in a very serious near negligible voice, that doesn’t seem to affect Tony one bit as he chuckles ironically.

“I’m glad.” He sarcastically adds making Gwen’s hands close into fists as she breathes in and out.

“I don’t see why it’s any of your business what I do with my life, so these petty comments your throwing for me to react angrily won’t work. I am done with you, Tony, have been for a while, so please don’t embarrass yourself.” With that she grabs her purse and walks out to the front door, where she stops before opening it, “When you’re mature enough to maintain a proper adult conversation, call me.” She reaches for the handle, “I wanted to let you all know about me wanting a break before the meeting at the label on Thursday. I’ll see you then.”

“Thanks, Gwen.” Adrian and Tom say at unison before Gwen opens then door, nods at them and leaves.

  


When she gets back to her apartment, she finds Blake sitting on the sofa with his guitar and notepad balancing on his knee. It takes him until the front door closes to notice her presence, which makes a soft smile appear on his face and the notepad to fall on the floor making Blake shrug and pull off his dimples.

“There’s a table right in front of you, I don’t know why you keep trying to balance it when it always ends up falling.” She teases walking up to him.

Blake nods a few times as he reaches down for the notebook and places it on the coffee table.

“Hi darlin’!” His dimples pop up on his face making Gwen’s heart skip a beat as she places her purse on the armchair and then takes a few last steps to sit by his side.

“Hi!” Her soft tone feels like home to him as it echoes in his head. “Wrote a new song?” She glances at the few lines written on the white piece of paper. Blake nods and then playfully leans towards her to peck her lips.

“You inspire me.” He breathes out against her cheek which makes goosebumps appear on her skin. “You always have.” She steals a smile that fades into a straight press of lips a few seconds later. “What happened?”

She can hide from him, she knows that. She knew as soon as she walked inside the apartment that there was no avoiding the subject.

“Tony’s a jerk.” Blake raises his eyebrows and Gwen chuckles when she sees his reaction. “I know you know that.” Blake nods with the cheeky smile still plastered on his face. “Adrian and Tom are cool with it, it’s just him that... ugh!” She covers her face when she groans and then lets her body fall on the sofa. “I think he’s jealous.”

Her cheek rests against the sofa and she speaks with her eyes closed as if she were tired. Blake hums and patiently waits for her to carry on. He knows her and that face, she has more she wants to let out. “I think he always has been, ever since we were kids.” Gwen opens her eyes to find Blake completely into her, into what she’s explaining, so she decides to carry on. “And he had his chance, you know? We had it and he screwed up! Why does he look at me like it’s my fault?” Through her last words, Blake’s hand comes up to caress her clothed arm to show support and understanding. “Why does he look at me like it’s wrong for me to love you?” The country singer draws a small beam on his face and then shakes his head slowly. His hand travels up to her cheek where his thumb runs her skin gently. “I love you, why can’t he accept it?” He puts a strand of hair behind her ear and leaves his hand there as she leans into it.

“I think it would take me a while to accept it too if you loved another guy.”

“But _he_ screwed up, Blake. He has no right to be so arrogant and cocky all the time.”

“I know, babe.” Gwen snuggles into his chest when he wraps an arm around her back, “He’s not violent-“ his question gets cut off when Gwen shakes her head against his chest and squeezes his torso.

“No, never.”

“Okay.” He breathes out. Silence takes over them for a long minutes as they just lay in each other’s arms. “I love you.” He breathes against her temple before dropping a soft peck on her skin.

“I love you too.”

  
  
  


Gwen goes out with some of her girlfriends one night and Blake takes the time to visit his mum and then pay a visit to Gwen’s parents. He has something important he wants to say and he walks in with the speech replaying on his head, but when the time comes, he grows so nervous that he forgets his carefully planned and thought out discourse.

 

“I just.... uhm.” Blake rubs his palms together and lowers his head down to his lap. “I want to do the right thing and...”

“Would you want something to drink?” Patty cuts him when she notices his struggle to let words come out of his mouth.

Blake looks up and smiles sweetly and Gwen’s mum, “Water would be good, thank you.”

“We’ll get you a beer.” Dennis adds chuckling at the struggling young man sitting right in front of him as if he were in the director’s office at high school. Blake watches as both of them stand up and walk to the kitchen leaving the songwriter alone in a living room he knows perfectly well. A living room that feels like home and that has felt comfortable for so many years. Why is he so nervous now? Gwen’s parents have basically raised him since he was fourteen and now he finds his palms sweaty and a voice he gas to control to not stutter. When the two grown ups enter the cozy room again, Blake tilts his head up and draws a soft smile on his face.

“What’s got you so nervous?” Patty gently asks as she sits back down on the arm chair by the window.

Blake gulps and presses his palms against the rough material of his old jeans. “I love Gwen.” He blurts out suddenly, making both Gwen’s parents let out a chuckle.

“That’s pretty obvious, yes.” Dennis adds.

“I want to marry her.” He feels his blood run cold when Dennis’ beam disappears from his face. Next to Gwen’s dad, her mother chuckles yet again at the look of terror in the songwriter’s face. “I mean,” Blake clears his throat and rubs his palm together, “Not tomorrow or next week or month, even year, but I would want to ask her at some point and,” he remembers to breath so he stops halfway through his announcement to catch his breath and take a second to regain his thoughts, “and I just would like to know if, whenever I do it, if it’s okay with you.”

His eyes land on the two people that feel like family to him to find two complete different looks on their faces. Dennis‘ face displays something between seriousness and excitement, and Patty looks happy, excited even. She could smile more if it were possible. “Can I? I mean, could I, at some point?” He adds when the silence starts to become awkward and his hands begin to shyly shake on his lap. “This is going so well.” He had planned to ironically say that to himself but he ends up quietly voicing the words.

“You’re doing great.” Gwen’s mum comments making Blake softly smile as he locks eyes with her.

“I just-“ he runs a hand through his hair and takes a breath praying that any of them cut him off so that he doesn’t end up babbling random words. “I won’t do it anytime soon, but I just want to know that if one day there’s the opportunity to asks her-“

“What would you do if I said no?” Dennis cuts him off trying to remain serious and pull off an act that he knows is going to freak Blake out.

“I uhm,” Blake closes his eyes and looks down at his shaky hands. Patty takes that moment to stare at her husband, who pulls off a soft cheeky smile. That gesture has her silently giggling for a moment but then turns serious when fro the corner of her eye sees Blake look devastated.

 _No_. She mouths shaking her head at her husband but before Dennis gets the opportunity to cut off his act, Blake speaks up.

“I would prove myself to you.” He speaks with his gaze on his linked hands on his lap. Slowly, he starts to tilt his head up to meet both of them. The easy thing would be to fix his eyes on Patty, with whom he has almost a mother-son relationship with, but he knows he has to convince Dennis mostly. “...every day until you granted permission to me to ask her.” He tries to sound as convincing and responsible as possible,  “I know I’m not-“ he rubs his palms together, “I’m a simple man. I would work a hundred jobs just to treat her the way she deserves to be treated.” He feels his lower lip shake a little bit when he stops to catch his breath, “I screwed up before. I have left and come back so many times and I know I hurt her. I-“

“Blake-“ Patty tries to end his monologue to tell him that there is no need for it, they, both, already know he is it for Gwen. But Blake shakes his head and continues.

“I don’t want to see her hurt again. I want to make her happy until the day I die. She deserves that and so much more.”

“You can.” Dennis’ voice cuts the silence created when Blake stopped his speech. The younger plaid wearing man gets a feeling of relief take over his body as he starts to lean back on the sofa silently letting out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. He feels the world around him stop for a second. Time stands still and he only notices the smile growing on his face and his hands finally relax on his lap. “Really?”

“You started to prove yourself so many years ago.”

“I loved her all my life.” Blake states in a gentle tone.

“We know.”

  
  


During the next few weeks he’s constantly thinking about his chat with Gwen’s parents. He said that he wouldn’t ask her to marry him soon, but at the same time he wants to just get down on one knee and ask. He needs a ring to do that, and to buy one will take him a little time. He wants to woo her and get her the ring she deserves and more. He can tell Gwen knows something is up because for a while he is a lot more quiet than usual and when one night a proposal comes on on the movie they’re watching he stands up and leaves saying he needs to pee. As days go by, he slowly starts to loosen up and leave the conversation with her parents behind, that is until one morning making breakfast he speaks before he thinks about the consequences.

“We’re like very cliché.” She spills it out while she puts cereals on the bowl and Blake chokes on his coffee. At that and the confusion on his face, Gwen lets out a laugh. “I mean, high school sweethearts that break up and end up together years later... blah, blah, blah.”

“Cliché would be if we end up getting married.” He doesn’t even process the words until they’re out in the open and it’s time for Gwen to choke on her breakfast.

“You want to get married?” Her tone of voice is somewhere between panic and excitement. She holds up the bowl of cereals as she looks at him curiously from the other side of the kitchen.

“I uhh… well,” Blake stammers as he tries to come up with a good enough answer. “Maybe?” She shrugs and Blake clears his throat, “I mean… Is this a trick question?”

Gwen chuckles and then puts the bowl aside to walk closer to him, “If you don’t say the right thing you’ll sleep on the couch tonight.” She teases as she wraps her arms around his neck.

“Sure I want to, it’s just…”

She places her index finger on his mouth preventing him from continuing., “I know.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

She nods, “You were going to say _we’re not ready._ ”

“We’re not ready.” He repeats.

“I think we need to be in this adult relationship a while longer.” Gwen states.

“Adult relationship?” Gwen giggles, “You’re been watching a lot of sitcoms now that you’re on a break, huh?”

“I mean, we’ve never really been together like together for-“

“I beg to differ.” He smirks at her and Gwen immediately bursts out a laugh when she catches up on him.

“You have such a dirty mind.” She playfully slaps his chest as she tries to get away from him but Blake tightens his hold on her and presses her up to his chest. She relaxes against him and even lets her nose rest on his covered chest to breath in his scent. “I meant to say that we’ve never really been in a serious relationship before. We live together now.”

“More like I invited myself here.”

“I want you here.” She makes it clear, “This is our place.” She plays with the crazy curls at the nape of his head as Blake closes his eyes. “What’s up?” She asks when she senses something is wrong.

“Nothing.”

“Blake?” Gwen pushes trying to meet his eyes.

“You could live in a bigger place.” He lets out quietly avoiding her eyes completely. Gwen frowns a bit and then reaches for his guitar and puts it aside to straddle him on the couch. Her hands travel from his neck to his cheeks where she pulls a bit to have his head tilt up and his eyes on her.

“What do you mean?” She has a vague idea where this is going but still, she wants to make sure he lets out what he is thinking.

“I just... Remember a while ago, you were looking for a new place to live.”

“I wasn’t fully looking. I just wanted to see what was on the market.” He tilts his head down again, “tell me what’s wrong.”

“I insisted on paying half of the rent of this place.”

She adds rapidly in a playful tone, “And I only let you because you wouldn’t shut up about it.” She lets out a giggle and Blake’s face breaks out in a small smile that has his dimples popping out.

“I think it’s fair I pay half since we both live here.” Blake speaks again, “But Gwen, we’re living in this small flat because I really can’t afford more.”

 _Oh_.

“I like it here. I just want to live with you, I don’t mind where.” She tilts his head up again and fixes her brown eyes on his blue sea ones. “I truly like it here. I don’t want a bigger place because that means more places for you to hide when I get home and you’re in a hide and seek mode.”

Blake lets out a laugh that has her heart warming up. She loves how true and sincere his smile is when he looks up at her, it just screams a lot of love words in a small gesture that means the world to her.

“Aha!” She feels him relax under her, “Just admit this sasquatch is better that you at that game.” She shakes her head trying to suppress a giggle. “I was always better.”

“Remember that time you hid so well that it took me forever to find you and when I finally did I found you asleep?” She leans over to him as she lets out a laugh that matches his own. The sound dies as he presses his lips on hers playfully.

“Can you believe how far we’ve come?” He whispers against her parted lips as she shakes her head slightly.

“Forever, Blake.”

“Yeah, I ain’t letting you go again.”

  
  


**_2004_ **

 

The break goes wonders to Gwen. She gets the opportunity to work on design and even start a new album of her own. When she had told her bandmates about the idea of going solo each of them had reacted differently. If Tony was already mad at her, now he was furious. Adrian had just nodded at her and kept his head down, while Tom had stormed out the room.

They lose contact for what feels like forever and part of her want to stop everything and get her band back together, but the remaining part thinks this is the right move to make. She has daydreamed about singing solo and more pop stuff for a while now and she knows now she is popular enough to go for it. Blake is all in with her. They have been apart for two weeks now, because he had had to go to Nashville to record a song for an important country star that he hadn’t even gotten the name of. They just said it was someone important so of course Blake had taken the opportunity with his arms wide open.

 

The news about them being a couple had surfaced months ago. At the end of 2003 when they had decided that they were ready for it. They had kept things quiet to not make the No Doubt drama even bigger, which had also given them the opportunity to just be them for a while and be in this relationship and make it strong from the start. The paparazzi’s had followed them for a while but it had never gotten crazy. “They probably think we’re boring” Blake had joked once and Gwen had agreed with a grin on her face.

  
  
  
  
  


He’s in Nashville when she gets a call to do the the Ellen Show and she accepts it. She has a new clothing line out and she should start teasing her solo music project soon to get people excited. She’s getting ready in the dressing room finalizing the final touches on her look when her phone buzzes. _Blake_. She smile down to the flip phone and then picks it up.

“You won’t believe this.”

“Hello to you too.” Gwen giggles against the device.

“Hi gorgeous.” He says, “I still don’t know how this damn phone works but I guess I did something right cos I can hear your voice.” She had pushed and pushed for him to get a phone so they didn’t have to wait for him to be home to speak.

“You and technology never really went together.”

“Yeah, nope.”

“What am I not going to believe?” She asks excited to know more.

“Tim McGraw is in the room next to me! I got to shake his hand and speak to him.” He rambles rapidly. “He.. wow Gwen! He wants me to write him some songs! How crazy is that?!” She grins when she pictures the silly boyish smile he must have on his face and how his dimples must be carved on his face.

“Babe, that’s so rad!”

“The song I recorded last week was a demo for him! That’s crazy!”

“I’m so proud of you.” Her gentle tone makes Blake sigh and run a hand through his hair. “So proud. You deserve it.”

“I love you.” He says almost cutting her off, “So much.”

Gwen smiles against her phone and closes her eyes, “Me too, Blake.”

“Reba, Tim McGraw... Wow!” She hears him pace the floor and her cheeks twitch up because she knows he does that when he is nervous.

“There is nothing to be nervous about. You’re so amazing and the world will finally start to realize what I’ve been knowing since we were fifteen.” Blake sucks in a breath and then sits down on the arm of the sofa.

“The first song I sang to you was _Step by Step_.”

“I remember.” She whispers letting her back lean against the chair. “ _Step by Step_ we got to where we are now.”

“We’re so lucky.”

Gwen nods, “And we’ve fought for our dreams as well.”

“That we have.” Blake states quietly, “I never thought our dreams would become real but I always knew I wanted to live my life next to you. Even if we had ended up opening a diner in the middle of nowhere or working at some store in the city.”

“Blake...” She breathes out slowly.

“It’s true.”

“I know, babe.” She reaches up to catch a tear from running down her cheek. “And I feel the same way.”

“Gwen.” A female voice fills the air followed by a knock on the door which started the singer. “Ellen’s ready for you.”

“Be out in two minutes.” She announces.

“I will have the TV on later to watch the episode.” Blake explains, “Have fun, I know how much you enjoy her show.”

“Call you later?”

“Sure!”

  
  


Ellen is fun. She asks all kind of questions to get her to relax and speak about her musical project to finally ask about No Doubt and Blake.

“We traveled the world for years. I just needed a break and it’s not goodbye, I want to make that clear.”

“I think breaks are good. We all need our time off to just lay back and relax a bit.” Ellen explains trying to get to the Blake subject that Gwen had been trying to dance around.

“Yeah.”

“Maybe start a family.” Gwen lets out a nervous laugh and them presses her lips together as a smile starts to draw on her features. “Heard you’ve been dating.” There it goes. Gwen nods and lays back against the white arm chair. “What’s his name?” Ellen obviously know it but she likes to push her guests once in a while.

“Blake.” Gwen can’t help the smile that appears on her face at the mention of his name. “Shelton.”

“Has a nice ring to it.” Gwen frowns but continues to grin at the host as from the corner of her eyes she sees a picture of both of them appear on the screen behind them. When the crowd erupts cheering and applauding she shifts her look to them and smiles brightly.

“He is an amazing songwriter.” Gwen says when the applauses stop. “Singer and guitar player. Kind of he whole pack in one.” She lets out a giggle laugh when she realizes the words she had chosen to describe him.

Ellen lets out a laugh and then leans over to touch her knee, “Well, now we know how he won you over.”

“Yeah,” Gwen nervously laughs, “Fifteen years old at either one of our backyards.”

“Really?”

“We went to school together.” They had never shared this much of their backstory, but Gwen was feeling confident and ready to let the world know that she was in it for the long haul.

“That’s cute.”

“He’s cute.” She says out loud with a giggle that she grows a little embarrassed about.

  
  


After the Ellen Show and some radio promo in LA, he spends a week with him in Nashville and gets to accompany him to the small private events he gets invited to. She meets his guy best friend, Graham, who she learns had accompanied Blake to the No Doubt gig in Nashville years back. He admits to being a die-hard No Doubt fan but also shows excitement for her solo project. She ends up learning a lot about Nashville Blake just talking to Graham and also gets to meet some country singers that walk up to her as if it were a normal thing. She loves how Blake admires all these people and even though he doesn’t personally know them, he whispers their names to her ear and she giggles when she feels his soft voice against her skin. She does get to meet Tim McGraw at one of Blake’s writing sessions. She doesn’t really know his music, but she knows how much Blake admires him so she tries her best to follow up the conversation which soon enough shifts to her career and she’s surprised to learn that the country star knows some No Doubt songs.

 

After a week in Nashville, she leaves for New York and Blake goes back to LA after writing two songs for Tim. He feels like he is flying and all he wants to do is call Gwen and then fall into bed. His mother picks him up at the airport and offers to drop him off downtown to his and Gwen’s place but he declines saying that he’d like to go back with her for a few days.

 

Waking up in the bedroom he had left behind at 18 feels weird and exciting at the same time. He had slept back home a few times from then till now, but this is the first time in ten years that he feels content, happy and excited. He scoops over and lets his back rest against the headboard as he closes his eyes. His mind get crowded with all kinds of memories and sounds and it makes him smile when mostly have Gwen in them. He has a flashback of him, shirtless staring outside the window as a eighteen year old her hugs him from behind in silence but wanting to say a million words. He giggles and feels his cheeks burn up when the image of her undressing him and him taking off her bra appears in his thoughts next. “One hell of a night.” He whispers to himself as his eyes open and take a few seconds to adjust to the bright morning light that comes from the window. He takes a look around and sees a few boxes that he is sure belong to his mother and also finds his old guitar next to them. _Johanna_. He remembers the exact moment he had named the instrument, the first time a string broke and the first song he ever played. Alongside Gwen, this guitar had been his partner in crime and he grows a little sad when he realizes he had left it behind when he had found an affordable shiny one at a shop next to the first café he had worked at in Nashville. Four months saving up had been good enough for him to get it and take Johanna back to his mother’s where it did nothing but collect dust in his room.

He slowly stands up and walks up to the instrument. He picks it up and opens the zipper letting a few papers and an old notebook fall on the ground. Blake only has eyes for the instrument though, because he ignores the papers and sits back on the bed and plays a few chords on a very out of tune guitar that make him frown and let out a little laugh. He manages to tune the instrument and spends the morning playing random songs and coming up with lyrics for a new song. That is how his mother finds him at lunch time, still in pyjamas but with a new song finished.

“I heard you play so I let you be but it’s lunch time.” Blake shifts his eyes to the clock hanging on the wall and then lets his body fall on the mattress and he groans against the pillow. “You always played so beautifully.” He feels the mattress sink letting him know that his mother’s presence.

He turn on his back and looks up to find her eyes on him, “thanks mum.”

“You dropped some papers on the floor.” She says waving them up in the air. Blake scoops up a little bit to have his eyes fall on the bunch but it’s an envelope that catches his attention. He sits up and reaches up for it almost scared. “What is it?” His mother asks curiously.

“Gwen” he breathes out as he stares down at the envelope. “2004.” He says with the same tone as he scoops back and rests his back against the cold white wall of his bedroom.

“I’m not following, son.”

Blake looks up at his mother and lets out a little giggle, “it’s 2004.”

“Yes.” His mother _duhs_ ironically _._

“I can open it.” Blake waves the envelope up in the air and then hug it closer to his chest. “I almost forgot about this.”

“What is _this_ exactly?” Dot continues to not knowing what’s going on.

“Remember I told you Gwen and I had written each other a letter when we were eighteen?” Dot nods, “She opened mine two years ago, told me so at Todd’s wedding. It’s 2004, ten years since I left for Nashville, meaning I can open it now. We set to open them in ten years.”

His mother listens to his words carefully and her cheeks tilt up as he excitedly explains the story. She loves how his dimples carve into his skin when he is really happy about something and he always gets really deep dimples when he’s talking about her.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Dot stands up but Blake stops her before she reaches the door.

“It’s lunch time, I can read it later.”

“No.” She shakes her head, “No, Blake. You’ve been waiting ten years for this.” With that she leaves and Blake nods to himself.

_She is right._

 

He is between tentatively opening the envelope or tearing apart. His clever and patient mind chooses the first option and once he has the papers with Gwen’s characteristic handwriting in his hands he is happy he controlled himself. He wants to frame her words, not break them.

The first thing he notices is the black pen. That’s her colour of choice while his is blue.

 

_Hi Blake._

 

He can almost hear her voice as he begins to read.

 

_What’s up? I really don’t know how to start this letter because, honestly? I don’t know what’s of us in the future. What’s of me? What’s of you? So I guess a How’ve you been? is in order. I hope you’re doing great and God! I hope we doing great together._

_I hate you a little bit, you know? We had years, Blake, YEARS. How are we just now feeling like this? It’s not fair._

 

_When I suggested for us to write each other a letter to be read in ten years I never imagined it would take me hours to get to start it. There is so much I want to say, but at the same time I don’t know where to start._

 

_This feels a little weird, huh? I’m writing this now but you’re going to read it in ten years. How crazy is that? Please don’t read it in front of me, that’d be embarrassing. There are going to be things in here that I may not be ready to say out loud, basically because I’m scared and you’re leaving. Leaving home._

_Leaving me._

_Don’t leave me._

 

_You’re leaving. That’s a final decision and I am so happy and proud of you. But I’m so sad, Blake. I know you know that I am and as much I as I want to be tough and smile at you and encourage you to live your dream, I am dying inside. I selfishly want you all to myself. I want your jokes, your hard country song and your adorable being next to me. I want us to rule Anaheim in your batmobile until all the pieces fall off and we have to work our butts off to afford a new car._

 

_You give me butterflies. That may sound too girly but I don’t care because it’s the truth and you deserve that. And the truth is that I love you. I loved you ever since we started hanging out, even if at first it was only a friendship kinda love. But it was always more than that, right? We just never really spoke about it until now that you’re leaving. Unfair._

_Thank you for our little infinity and for making it seem like a forever by your side. Thank you for being you, I don’t have words to describe you. You blow my mind. Thank you for not shutting me out that day we met. I think I scared you a bit with all my questions but you replied to all of them at the end. I thought you were cute. I still do. And short hair is a win. You look so sexy. I hope you keep it short._

 

_I don’t want to imagine us in ten years. I want to, but I’m scared. You’ve raised my expectations on love so high and I believe no one will ever come close as you. This sounds like one of those british films our mothers like to watch, but it’s true. And everyone might say that we’re too young, that we know nothing about love and heartbreak, but if it’s any close to what I am feeling right now, then I’m an expert. My heart’s filled up because of you and it’s broken in half for the same reason. How can it be that I am happy and sad at the same time?_

 

_Thanks for being the greatest best friend one could ask for. For being the best little infinity._

_I’ll always love you and if letting you go means that I love you, then there you go cowboy._

_Shine bright! There’s no stopping you. No stopping us._

 

_Yours. Always._

 

_Gwen._

 

_PS: You should check inside Johanna._

 

He closes his eyes and inhales sharply. He knows his cheeks are wet and he doesn’t care, he likes to feel the traces of tears on his skin like blue ink on the paper. A drop falls on the paper and he opens his eyes to the quiet sound that echoes inside the four walls of his bedroom. Two options come to him mind: pack and leave to New York or call her. He goes with the first option, thinking that everything that he wants to say to her should be done face to face. He takes a deep breath and then re-reads the last line again.

 

_PS: You should check inside Johanna._

 

He hugs the letter to his chest for a long minute and tries to imagine a brunette Gwen taking her time to write such an honest letter. He remembers that he had written a more “let’s see what the future brings us” while she had stayed in a more safe territory, a more present time than a 2004 future. In a present time in which she thanked him for everything and more.

  
He reaches out for Johanna and inspections the instrument. _Inside Johanna._ He frowns and then tries to look inside the instrument in between the strings. He spots something white. He struggles a little bit, and he believes he cuts himself either with a string, the paper or the old wood of the instrument, but he manages to take out a small white folded paper. He puts Johanna on his lap, strings down, and places the white paper on instrument with the words _Make Me Like You_ staring back at him.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	15. Guitar String

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm such a hopeless romantic. Sorry not sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm late and I'm sooooo sorry, but better later than never, huh? :)

  


A song. He says to himself as he stares down at her characteristic handwriting and of course the blue pen. Blue ink is her thing while his is black. They agreed on that matter so many years ago but it still steals a smile from his face when he thinks about it. He stares down at the paper without reading it, just savouring the moment. She wrote a song for him. 1994 Gwen wrote him a song called _Make Me Like You._

He needs a moment.

Blake closes his eyes and lets a soft silly smile appear on his face as he pictures a brunette Gwen biting the cap of the blue pen as she thinks about lyrics. He find it adorable how she could write a song in minutes but also take weeks to finish another one. He wonders what kind of song is _Make Me Like You._ He likes the title, he is sure of that. He has no idea what the song will be about, but the title kind of spoils it, and he ain’t complaining.

Whenever they wrote together, they always projected their feelings, but never the ones they had for one another and in some way he is excited to get to know what _that_ Gwen thought of him before he left for Nashville. Up to this day, she had never really sang to him a song she had written, sure they would sit down and sing love songs to each other, but she had never sang her own words to him.

He is excited and nervous. Maybe more of the second since this are 1994 words and now it’s 10 years later, but he nods to himself and lowers his head to the paper once again.

  


_I was fine before I met you_

_I was broken but fine_

_I was lost and uncertain_

_But my heart was still mine_

_I was free before I met you_

_I was broken but free_

_All alone in the clear view, but now you are all I see_

_Hey, wait a minute_

_No, you can't do this to me_

_Wait a minute_

_No, that's not fair_

_Hey, wait a minute_

_You're on me like jewelry_

_I really like you, but I'm so scared_

_Ooh, why'd you have to go and make me like you?_

_Yeah this is a feeling I'm not used to (ooh)_

_Why'd you have to go and make me like you?_

  


He looks up and then closes his eyes as he rests the back of his head to the wall behind him.  He feels the world around him go silent as his organ beats on his chest fast but slow at the same time. I. He feels like he has just ran a marathon but also like he is nervously walking around some quiet scary place. He breathes in and then out, and in once again as he lowers his head back to the blue inked words on white paper.

_I'm so mad at you 'cause now you got me missing you_

_'Cause now you got me missing you_

_Something I could get used to_

_I could get used to this_

_It's getting harder to leave it_

_Your lips on my lips_

_Oh, I can't believe it_

_How good it could be_

_Didn't wanna believe it, but now you are all I see_

 

_Hey, wait a minute_

_No, you can't do this to me_

_Wait a minute_

_No, that's not fair_

_Hey, wait a minute_

_You're on me like jewelry_

_I really like you, but I'm so scared_

_Ooh, why'd you have to go and make me like you?_

_Yeah this is a feeling I'm not used to_

_Why'd you have to go and make me like you?_

_I'm so mad at you 'cause now you got me missing you_

_Why'd you have to go and make me like you?_

_Yeah this is a feeling I'm not used to_

_Why'd you have to go and make me like you?_

_I'm so mad at you 'cause now you got me missing you_

 

_Oh God, thank God that I found you_

_Oh God, cause now you got me missing you_

_Oh God, thank God that I found you_

_I'm so mad at you 'cause now you got me missing you_

_Thank God_

_Thank God that I found you, oh_

_Now you got me missing you_

_Now you got me missing you_

_Why'd you have to go and make me like you?_

_Yeah this is a feeling I'm not used to_

_Why'd you have to go and make me like you?_

_I'm so mad at you 'cause now you got me missing you_

_Why'd you have to go and make me like you?_

_Yeah this is a feeling I'm not used to_

_Why'd you have to go and make me like you?_

_I'm so mad at you 'cause now you got me missing you_

_Oh God, thank God that I found you_

_Oh God, 'cause now you got me missing you_

_Oh God, thank God that I found you_

_I'm so mad at you 'cause now you got me missing you_

  


_Maybe in 2004 I won’t be mad because (I pray to God) I won’t be missing you._

_Gwen._

 

Blake sniffs and then lets a tear run down his face.

Wow, okay.

His first thought is grab his phone and call her. There’s so many things he wants to say at this moment, but he waits. He re-reads the whole song over and over again and he finds himself smiling, crying and laughing as he does. The grin on his face speaks for itself and he can feel his cheeks hurt as he runs a hand through his face when he finally puts the paper down by his side and then pulls his knees to his chest. His head falls on his knees and while one hands holds his legs tight, his other hand reaches out for his guitar as he gently starts to tap his fingers against it. His finger slides over the strings to finally reach the turning pegs. He stops and then takes a deep breath as he thinks things through. His fingers start to slowly turn a peg without even realizing it to the point when a string breaks.

“Fuck!” He half yells when he feels it hit somewhere in his arm. “Shit. Aw!” He rubs the hit spot on his arm when a ray of inspiration hits him and he bounces off the bed. “Mum, I’m off to New York!” He yells loud enough for his mother to hear it from downstairs.

“What?” Dot’s voice fills the house. He makes his way downstairs in a rush, nearly stumbling down the stairs and finds his mother reading a magazine with the TV on.

“I’m going to Gwen.”

“Oh, okay.”

Blake stops before he enters the kitchen and turns to his mother, “Anything to add?” He asks when he sees the grin on her face.

“Nope.” She cheerfully shakes her head.

“Mum, you only have this chance, so go ahead.” Blake says walking closer to her. “I know that look.”

“You look happy-.”

Blake cuts her, “I am happy.”

“That’s all I want.”

“But?”

“No buts.” Blake raises his eyebrows, “I stopped with the buts on Gwen related matters years ago.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks confused by the words.

“When you need opinion on anything else, I am here for you but when it comes to Gwen, you have to follow your heart. You always have and I admire that.”

“I’m still not sure what you mean.” He squats before her and looks up to find his mother’s soft gaze.

“You love her.” Blake nods as a _duh_ smile appears on his face, “You have for a long time.” She continues softly, “I’ve seen you love her through everything, through all the years and all the ups and downs. I’ve seen you look out for her when you were fifteen and I’ve seen you look out for her in your twenties and when she was loving another guy.”

“Mum-”

“No matter what, no matter when, you never stopped loving her.”

“You’re getting soft on me.” Blake giggles and Dot playfully hits his shoulder, “Pardon me, please continue.”

“All I am saying is that when it comes to Gwen I trust your heart and mind to make the right decision. I don’t think you’d listen to what I had say.” Blake opens his mouth to add something but Dot corrects herself before he can, “Okay, you would probably listen, but then you’d go and do something else.” Blake nods a few times as he takes a sit on the floor when his legs begin to hurt. Her hands come up to cradle his head softly. “Whatever is going on on that head of yours, do it.”

There’s a moment of silent as Blake takes his mother’s words in, “Do you think she’d say yes?” Blake asks with his head down, kind of scared to look up and see his mother’s reaction.

“To wha- oh.” Dot smiles softly at her boy and then scoops over to place her hand on his chin and bring his eyes to her. “Honey, there’s no doubt in my mind.”

“I liked that pun.” Blake lets out a nervous laugh that dies soon enough. “I don’t have a ring.” He whispers, “I’ve been saving up, but I am nowhere near what she deserves.”

“Honey, I don’t think she’s one of those girls.”

“I know, but she deserves the best piece and I want to give it to her.” Blake holds his mother’s gaze, “I already asked her parents.”

A proud feeling runs through Dot’s veins as she cups her son’s face in between her hands, “You’re an amazing man.”

“Everything I am, I learnt from you.” He admits. “It’s true, don’t come up with any excuse.”

“Well, kudos to me then.” She softly giggles before leaning down to drop a soft kiss on Blake’s forehead. “Do what your heart tells you to do.”

  


He gets to New York the following afternoon and having lost all his _Ring Money_ as he called it, on the flight to the city that never sleeps. He had a plan though. He gets to a quiet corner in the airport and calls her asking about her day but eager to know where she is at so he can get to her as soon as possible.

“I just got back to the hotel and I’m so tired I’m going to lay back and relax.” She says through the phone as an enormous smile appears on his face.

“That’s great.” He almost feels like dancing in the middle of the airport.

“Yeah, it’s been a busy couple of days, I deserve a bath and a soap opera to put me to sleep.”

“I wish I could be there with you.” He says with a grin drawing on his face.

“Me too, babe.”

The conversation goes on for two more minutes and then they hang up and Blake put his plan into action.

 

As he walks into the hotel, with a small bag and Johanna on his back, he comes to realize that he doesn’t know her room number. He knows asking at the reception will only get him kicked out by a tall security guy that could win knock him out blindfolded to he does the next best thing.

“Hi babe, sorry to interrupt your bath.”

“Interrupt me anytime.” She teases making Blake glup.

He nervously laughs because he knows that tone and as much as he wants to continue down that path this is not the place or the moment, “Hey, I-” He clears his throat, “This is totally going to tear down my surprise but I really want to send you something because I miss you, but I don’t know your room number.”

She lets out a laugh that is like music to his ears, “I love you. Even if you always find a way to mess up surprises.”

“What can I say, God made me this way.”

“And I wouldn’t change a thing.”

 

He uses the half an hour he knows she takes to have a bath and goes to get her some flowers and also asks for a champagne bottle to be delivered at her room at 11pm before he makes his way to her room. Standing in front of her door is making all the nerves appear and his palms sweat, but he shakes the feeling away and then knocks. Waiting for her to open the door feels like a lifetime but when the white wooden surface reveals her standing at the other side dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants, sans makeup and with a bun on top of her head, he can only smile and bring her closer to his body.

“Blake.” She murmurs against his chest as her arms tight around him and she sinks her nose in his welcoming clothed chest. He lifts her from the ground as he spins them around slowly, making her chuckle against his neck.

“Hi princess.” He whispers against her ear making goosebumps appear on her skin. “Surprise.”

She leans back a little bit, “And here I thought I was getting flowers delivered.” She teases making him sillily frown at her.

“Hold that thought.” He turns around and squats down to pick up a bouquet from the floor and then hands it to her.  

“The man and the flowers. I’m double lucky.” She leans forward and finally captures his mouth in hers in a sweet kiss. “You’re crazy. What are you doing here?”

“I missed you.” He says as he stares down at her. “It’s been two weeks, I needed to see you.”

“I’m going back to home in two days.” She says with a little laugh, “I’m definitely not complaining though.” Her hands find her way to the back of his head as she stands on her tiptoes to kiss him again. She manages to close the door of the room before they start to make their way more into the room without separating their mouths, but when he feels her start to remove his jacket all his alarms go off and he leans away not before pecking her lips playfully.

“I came to tell you something.”

She frowns playfully, “I got you a phone for that.”

Blake laughs and then cups her face, “It’s important.”

“Yeah, well getting you out of these clothes is more important.” He shouldn’t fall for that but he cannot say no to her and falling into her unmade bed sounds very appealing after almost three weeks apart. “You brought Johanna?” Now that she puts the guitar down, she realises that it is his old one.

“She’d never been to New York before.” His dimples carve in his face as he speaks and Gwen hits his chest playfully as she stands on her tiptoes again and Blake's arms come around her lower body to pull her close. He lets his knees buckle a bit to pick her up from the ground and onto his arms.

 

 

As their bodies move together under the sheets, Gwen can’t help but notice that there’s something about right now, this moment, that is different. In a totally good way. Of course he is always gentle, but there’s something about the rhythm he set as they fell on the unmade bed that makes her go back to their first time.

“Blake,” She moans out his name as he pushes into her one last time making him groan on her parted lips and then let a chuckle escape when she falls apart under him. 

“I know.” He says placing butterfly kisses all over her face. She giggles at the contact of his stubble on her face and brings one hand up to his cheek. “I love you.”

“Mhm,” She can only say as she tries to catch her breath, “Whoa.” Her eyes close and her head falls back against the pillow as Blake just says still admiring her. He figures she needs for him to move but when he does he sees her shake her head. “Don’t move.” She says, still with her eyes closed. The soft yet out of breath tone makes a soft chuckle escape his mouth as he leans forward, trying to keep his body from crushing her, even though she said she was okay. He just moves aside a little bit, keeping his body as close to her as possible. After a long minute of silence, he thinks she might have fallen asleep, she did say all she wanted to do is lay back and watch TV, so when he props himself up on one arm to look down at her, his heart can’t help but jump when a smile draws on her face.

No time like the present, “Why you had to go and make me like you?” He whispers slowly and then waits for her reaction. He almost blurts out laughing as he watches her try to put the pieces together and how she sits up almost bumping her head with his in the process. She stares at him and he stares back for what feels like forever, until she opens her mouth to say something but he gently pecks her lips, “Thank god that I found you.”

Her forehead leans against his and the world stops for them. She wants to ask if he had read the song, but it’s so obvious that he had that she laughs at her own thought.

“What’s so funny?” He asks leaning back to meet her chocolate stare.

“I was going to ask if you had found the song, but you obviously have.” He nods and then sits in front of her crossed legged. “Did you like it?”

“I like everything that you do but that was unbelievable, Gwen. I cried like a baby, full on sobs.” He laugh recalling the moment, “Not that I didn’t know you were an incredible songwriter, but that song really blew my mind. I can’t believe you wrote that about me, and even more I can’t believe it was inside Johanna all this time.”

She chuckles, “She was a big part of you back then.” Blake nods and then turns his head to the instrument leaning against the door at the entrance of the room.

“ I don’t want you to hate me. I’m sorry you hated me and that you missed me but I am here to tell you that you missing me ain’t gonna happen ever again.” She can feel goosebumps appear on her skin as he listens to him talk, “You may hate me from time to time, I’m still better at hide and seek so...” He gloats in a teasing tone that makes Gwen let out a laugh and bury her nose on his chest.

“I could never hate you. You annoy me from time to time, but never hate. Not like that kind of I hate you so much I don’t want to see you ever again, hate.”

“Good to know cos I plan on staying until we’re old and grey.” He presses his lips together surpassing a chuckle when her eyes widen at his admission. He stands up and reaches out for his boxer briefs at the end of the bed and puts them on. He takes a couple of steps and reaches out for Johanna and then jumps back on the bed where Gwen sits, following his every move.

“You’re up to something.” She knows him so well. “Blake.” She repeats when the songwriter opens the small front pocket of the guitar case. She frowns when she sees him take out a broken string. _She’s so lost._ “Blake…” She tries again.

He clears his throat and then tangles his fingers with the string he had broken hours before after reading her letter and song.

“Remember when we met?”

“When I basically interrogated you on your way home? Yes.” She says on a joking tone.

“Yeah, that incredible day.”

“You probably thought I was crazy.”

“No.” He shakes his head, “I just couldn’t understand how someone as cool as you was suddenly talking to me."

“I wasn’t cool.”

“To me, you were.” He admits almost shyly. “You were nice to me. You didn’t laugh at my clothes or long hair.”

“Of course not.”

“I know. You never did. I felt so lucky to walk you to and from school and sit by your side in class those first few days. I felt welcomed at a moment in my life when I just wanted to-”

Her hand reaches up to his cheek to make him understand that she’s walking down memory lane with him, “I know.”

“Richie send you to save me, I am so sure of that and you know I don’t really believe in God and stuff.” He takes a deep breath and then reaches out to take his white shirt from one side of the bed and slides it on her when she shiver.

“I would have loved to meet him.” She says as his hands rest on her shoulders once _his_ shirt is on her.

“He would have loved you.” She blushes.

Silence forms between them for a few long seconds in which Gwen’s eyes fall on the broken string again, “What’s with the string?”

_Oh right._

 

He takes a deep breath and then looks up, “I want to add something in our to-do list.” She’s confused but lets him continue, “Or maybe we could just a new one, either way, there’s something I would like to do. It came to me as soon as I finished reading your letter. It hit me. I never want to leave you again. I want to keep raising your expectations on love higher and higher, even if that means that I have to come up with better cute and romantic stuff for you every year that goes by.” She listens carefully to every word that comes up of her mouth and blushes a little bit, as also a chuckle escapes her mouth at the last words he says. He thinks fast, he doesn’t want to make the huge speech and have her figure out halfway through what he is doing, so he just goes for it. “I want to extend our little infinity.”

“We’re doing that.” She cuts in.

“I know, but for real. I mean, I know we’re real and we’re in this together but-” He looks away for a moment to collect his thoughts. “I don’t have the thing for this thing, but I hope this works out.”

“Blake-”

He looks around thinking that he should probably at least kneel, so he stands up and takes her hands to have her sit at the edge of the mattress. He can feel his hands start to sweat and his heart beat a million times per second but at the same time the look on her eyes makes him feel so at ease. He looks at her one last time and then starts to kneel down before her . He chuckles when her expression shifts from curious and lost to a reaction he can’t quite make out, but her eyes widen and her jaw drops, “Blake wh-”

“Shh,” His hand reaches out to squeeze her knee softly as he also drops a kiss on her skin. When he is fully on one knee, he closes his eyes for a moment and then opens them again to spot a tear ready to break free down her face. “You shouldn’t be crying yet, unless you feel bad for my sorry ass because you plan on saying no and dump me. Wait, no, that would have me crying.” His words fly out before he can process them but Gwen blurts out laughing, as she leans over to him to let her chin rest on top of his head.

“I love you.” She mumbles against his curls, “Even when you decide the worst moment to be funny.” His head tilts back and her eyes fall on his again, which is all the empowerment Blake needs to go carry on.

“I’m guessing you’re wondering why I have a guitar string on my hands.”

“Kind of, yeah.”

“I turned the peg way too much without even realising it as I sat on my bed processing your letter and song.” He begins to explain, “It broke and hit my arm,” Blake pouts, stealing a chuckle from his girl.

“Poor baby,”

He takes a deep breath and continues, knee still on the ground, “But I guess it was a sign.” He breathes in again and squeezes her knee again. She looks so cute with her legs hanging off of the edge of the mattress, “Gwen, I know you deserve better than this, and I’ll give it to you, I promise baby. I know it’s not much but I made a ring out of the broken string.”

“Bl-” His hands come up place the string on her lap and Gwen rapidly reaches for it.

“I knew Johanna was always rooting for us.” He says with a chuckle making Gwen let out a sob mixed with a laugh that makes his heart jump. “What I am trying to say is that I want it all. I want the laughs, the cries, the songs, the sappy movies that get me to sleep; I want Kale week-”

She raises her eyebrows at him, “Okay maybe not kale week but I want to enjoy life beside you until my last breath, baby. And make cute babies, that too.” She nods with her lips pressed as she tries to control her emotions. His hand travels to the elastic band of his boxers to take out a simple band that makes Gwen’s breath catch on her throat and Blake smile nervously. He brings the handmade ring to her line of vision and then goes for it, “I know that a ring out of a guitar string might not be ideal and I’m not even properly dressed but Gwen, will you marry me?”

She doesn’t need to think this through, “Yes! Yes!” He feels like jumping around, but instead he just leans up and crashes his mouth on hers in a short but firm kiss that stops time. They lean back just enough to bump noses together and open their eyes to let their gazes meet. She feels his hand on hers as he locates her ring finger, his eyes locked on hers until he starts to slide the ring on her. “You made it for me.” He sees a rebel tear make its way down her face but he catches it with his fingers before it falls.

“Yeah I, I know it’s-”

“Blake, it’s perfect.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You made it for me, it can’t get better than that.” She stares down at the string band on her finger and giggles at the thought of him taking time to craft it.

“What?” He asks curiously as he squats before her.

“I’m just trying to imagine you making it.”

“If music doesn’t work out for me I’ll open a small ring shop in Nashville, who knows, maybe I’ll make a fortune and start a trend.”

“Music will work out for you.” He loves how she always finds a moment to remind him that he is capable of it. He has thought about giving up so many times; writing songs isn’t enough anymore, but whenever the thought appears on his mind, she is always there to cheer him up. No questions asked. “But that’s a good idea. Rings out of guitar strings in the capital of music.”

“I love you so much.” He says, completely changing the subject.

“I love you too. What a crazy ride to get here, cowboy.” She takes his hands and motions for him to stand up. He does and then sits beside her; Gwen wastes no time to straddle him and lower him on the bed as her lips work on his. “Are we really doing this?”

“We’re getting married.”

“We are.”

“My fiancée.”

“I love how it sounds already.” She whispers and then drops a kiss on his upper cheek.

  
  


The champagne arrives at 11pm sharp and they finish it in an hour as they cheer to different future plans. It’s not until 3am, and after a movie, that they finally agree on getting some sleep. Her head comes to rest on his chest and before she falls asleep Blake adds, “Remember before when I reached for my shirt and put it on you?” She tilts his head up to meet his eyes in the dimmed room only lit up by the light coming out of the bathroom. “I did because so I didn’t want things to get awkward when someone asks how and when I asked you to marry me. ”

  


**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the love towards this story. Each one of you! Means a lot :) xx


End file.
